A nervous hello

[catsmother]

Hello

I joined this site in the summer just after having a panic period lasting a fortnight. Reading the posts and advice helped me through then (together with Venlafaxine, valium for emergencies and beta blockers). Still I've had counselling, CBT and NLP which have helped at the time but not for any new eventualities. Lots of things have happened which could explain the way I am now but the main problem I have seems related to work situations.

I seem to need to be in a position where i need to know everything instantly. I've just started a new six month contract where the handover notes are hopeless, i have no up to date structure chart of the enormous organisation, the email and calendar package is new. My boss is nice but newly started herself in a very high profile role where performance is the key. She is under a lot of stress herself and talks to me as though i know what she's talking about. Although i understand in a general sense, i need to know about things like "recruiting for a stragic business partner", delivering excellence, etc. I've had 2 days off so far this week for physical reasons but think the underlying reasons are panic/anxiety and they are expecting me back on Monday. I told her on the phone today that i was making a list of things i needed to know in order to help her and needed 5 mins with her on Monday but i don't even know how to start the list, apart from the structure chart. I don't know what I need to know until I find out that I don't know it! As well as this, the nervousness is causing me to make small errors/lapses of memory that I wouldn't normally have. I've had anxiety in new jobs before and often overcome it (except in circumstances where i've either bottled out or the job was wrong for me anxiety or not). I was redundant for a few weeks before getting this and we really, really need the money (more pressure). I also have 6 pages of minutes from a meeting on wednesday to type up and i've no idea really what i'm going to say, i don't know whether i precised down what everyone said or not. Not had much minute taking experience before. The trains have been dreadful and been having to walk to the station as the can't get the car out of the drive.

On top of this, my son and his girlfriend (and his girlfriend's mother) are coming to stay on Monday for a few days. Son and girlfriend have been away for 3 years travelling/working the world. I get on with my son :unsure: well but feel his girlfriend is wary of me, although i don't know why. Think she feels Ryan is very much her boy and doesn't want me going near! I don't want anything to overshadow their homecoming but i'm so worried about this job.

The panic/anxiety attacks take the form of nausea/sickness/diarrhoea/feeling i can't move. Deep breathing helps but only in the "coming down" phase not during. When I got my last prescription from the doctor, he was talking about coming off venlafaxine in 3 months but this seems out of the question now or in the very near future.

All the best to all of you - the forum is brilliant. :) Can anyone recommend something i can read which may help?

catsmother

[Southern_Belle]

Hi,

Welcome to NMP. You have a lot on your plate right now. A talk with your boss is a definite must and take plenty of notes. There must be a book somewhere describing how the email and calender on the computer works, ask for it. As for the minutes, do what you can from the minutes you wrote down and give them to your boss, she will then red line it. From then on, you must make some type of shorthand that you can understand and write real fast during meetings while taking notes and then, as fast as you can type them out while they are fresh in your memory.

Anxiety can make your memory act up but I think you also need a boost in self confidence. You need to believe you can do this job. Remember, they would not have hired you if they did not think you could not do the work!

As for your son and his girlfriend, welcome them with open arms and I think everything will work out fine.

Good luck and I do hope you feel better soon. I know that many have found Claire Weekes books helpful. You will find that many here feel like you do and you will get support.

Best wishes,

Laura

[kittykat]

Hi there and welcome to the site, it is a graet support and really supportive people on here, looking forward to seeing you around xxx

[Utility]

Hi

Within any organisation no one can do everything at once and this will not be expected of you.

I think, as Southern Belle said, a chat about things with your boss is a must.

List objectives down and don't try to remember eveything because you won't be able too. There is nothing more reliable than a good old diary to make notes.

Set priorites and realistic objectives and explain to your bosses that you understand that tasks have to be completed but due to the heavy workload certain aspects will be delayed. Do not hold back on providing this information. Any employer worth their salt will understand this and provide the support required in order help achieve realistic goals. If they set targets that are unrealistic then let them know from the start, do not bottle it up.

Everything in life is about order of priority and the workplace is no different. Not everything needs to be done at once, so take the pressure off yourself and list the non essentials out of the frame.

[catsmother]

Hi

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who replied. I'm thinking about my list of things to ask at my boss meeting now. Thank you so so much for the steer in the right direction and the warm feeling of not feeling so alone, that people do understand. I cried when i read your posts (which i hardly ever do, just because you were so kind).

Txxx

[weeble40]

Hi and a big welcome to NMP its great to have you here, hope to see you in chat sometime,

Take care

Emma xxx

[sunshine-lady]

Hi and:welcome: to NMP,
I am pleased you found us. I'm sure you will like it here as there is so much advice, information and support.Please remember you are never alone.

chat is fun too and a great place to make new friends:biggrin: