catsmother
06-02-09, 20:13
Hello
I joined this site in the summer just after having a panic period lasting a fortnight. Reading the posts and advice helped me through then (together with Venlafaxine, valium for emergencies and beta blockers). Still I've had counselling, CBT and NLP which have helped at the time but not for any new eventualities. Lots of things have happened which could explain the way I am now but the main problem I have seems related to work situations.
I seem to need to be in a position where i need to know everything instantly. I've just started a new six month contract where the handover notes are hopeless, i have no up to date structure chart of the enormous organisation, the email and calendar package is new. My boss is nice but newly started herself in a very high profile role where performance is the key. She is under a lot of stress herself and talks to me as though i know what she's talking about. Although i understand in a general sense, i need to know about things like "recruiting for a stragic business partner", delivering excellence, etc. I've had 2 days off so far this week for physical reasons but think the underlying reasons are panic/anxiety and they are expecting me back on Monday. I told her on the phone today that i was making a list of things i needed to know in order to help her and needed 5 mins with her on Monday but i don't even know how to start the list, apart from the structure chart. I don't know what I need to know until I find out that I don't know it! As well as this, the nervousness is causing me to make small errors/lapses of memory that I wouldn't normally have. I've had anxiety in new jobs before and often overcome it (except in circumstances where i've either bottled out or the job was wrong for me anxiety or not). I was redundant for a few weeks before getting this and we really, really need the money (more pressure). I also have 6 pages of minutes from a meeting on wednesday to type up and i've no idea really what i'm going to say, i don't know whether i precised down what everyone said or not. Not had much minute taking experience before. The trains have been dreadful and been having to walk to the station as the can't get the car out of the drive.
On top of this, my son and his girlfriend (and his girlfriend's mother) are coming to stay on Monday for a few days. Son and girlfriend have been away for 3 years travelling/working the world. I get on with my son :unsure: well but feel his girlfriend is wary of me, although i don't know why. Think she feels Ryan is very much her boy and doesn't want me going near! I don't want anything to overshadow their homecoming but i'm so worried about this job.
The panic/anxiety attacks take the form of nausea/sickness/diarrhoea/feeling i can't move. Deep breathing helps but only in the "coming down" phase not during. When I got my last prescription from the doctor, he was talking about coming off venlafaxine in 3 months but this seems out of the question now or in the very near future.
All the best to all of you - the forum is brilliant. :) Can anyone recommend something i can read which may help?
catsmother
I joined this site in the summer just after having a panic period lasting a fortnight. Reading the posts and advice helped me through then (together with Venlafaxine, valium for emergencies and beta blockers). Still I've had counselling, CBT and NLP which have helped at the time but not for any new eventualities. Lots of things have happened which could explain the way I am now but the main problem I have seems related to work situations.
I seem to need to be in a position where i need to know everything instantly. I've just started a new six month contract where the handover notes are hopeless, i have no up to date structure chart of the enormous organisation, the email and calendar package is new. My boss is nice but newly started herself in a very high profile role where performance is the key. She is under a lot of stress herself and talks to me as though i know what she's talking about. Although i understand in a general sense, i need to know about things like "recruiting for a stragic business partner", delivering excellence, etc. I've had 2 days off so far this week for physical reasons but think the underlying reasons are panic/anxiety and they are expecting me back on Monday. I told her on the phone today that i was making a list of things i needed to know in order to help her and needed 5 mins with her on Monday but i don't even know how to start the list, apart from the structure chart. I don't know what I need to know until I find out that I don't know it! As well as this, the nervousness is causing me to make small errors/lapses of memory that I wouldn't normally have. I've had anxiety in new jobs before and often overcome it (except in circumstances where i've either bottled out or the job was wrong for me anxiety or not). I was redundant for a few weeks before getting this and we really, really need the money (more pressure). I also have 6 pages of minutes from a meeting on wednesday to type up and i've no idea really what i'm going to say, i don't know whether i precised down what everyone said or not. Not had much minute taking experience before. The trains have been dreadful and been having to walk to the station as the can't get the car out of the drive.
On top of this, my son and his girlfriend (and his girlfriend's mother) are coming to stay on Monday for a few days. Son and girlfriend have been away for 3 years travelling/working the world. I get on with my son :unsure: well but feel his girlfriend is wary of me, although i don't know why. Think she feels Ryan is very much her boy and doesn't want me going near! I don't want anything to overshadow their homecoming but i'm so worried about this job.
The panic/anxiety attacks take the form of nausea/sickness/diarrhoea/feeling i can't move. Deep breathing helps but only in the "coming down" phase not during. When I got my last prescription from the doctor, he was talking about coming off venlafaxine in 3 months but this seems out of the question now or in the very near future.
All the best to all of you - the forum is brilliant. :) Can anyone recommend something i can read which may help?
catsmother