breast cancer anxiety going out of my mind

[sam1878]

Hi All

I posted last night about this in more detail and how I have felt the last couple of weeks but today I feel like I am going out of my mind with worry.

The pain in my breast seems to be getting worse, like a thuding pain coming from in my shoulder blade (which also hurts) to the bone below being sore.

Last week I thought I had liver, lung cancer, leukemia and breast cancer. A GP I dont normally see but because of my anxiety last week, saw me as an emergency examined me and said I was ok and did lots of blood tests which are all fine . My GP put me on Cipramil but when I rang her yesterday and asked for a private referral for an ultra sound has said I need to stop worrying, she will see me on Wednesday and prescriped diazapam which I am too scared to take. I cant stop touching myself to feel for lumps and have even made my husband checked several times, which he says he cant feel anything different to the other one except it being a bit more tender on the one I am worried about but I do keep touching and feeling all the time

Please help, I dont know what to do, the GP seemed annoyed yesterday when I questioned the blood tests, she said if anything was untoward they would have had indications in them.

My mum died of breast cancer and I am freaking out

[gracesophia]

Hi Sam,

I'm sorry you're feeling so awful. I'm (fingers crossed) coming out of a horrible period of health anxiety myself, and in the last month have been convinced I've had lymphoma, leukemia and autoimmune hepatitis (all blood test results have been fine). So I know how scary it is. Our bodies are funny things and have all kind of aches and pains. Last week my right breast started really hurting and was tender from the armpit right round to the breast bone. I of course was freaking out, but within days it had gone and I think it must just have been hormonal. Also, if you keep touching and feeling it, that will make it really hurt!

I also find it hard to trust doctors. I have a lovely doctor I see but sometimes I think I am driving her mad. What I try and tell myself is that they might not know what every twinge or pain definitely is, but they are pretty well trained in looking out for symptoms of when something is wrong. Breast cancer is so common and they will have checked hundreds of lumps.

I wish I could follow this advice myself, but just try and distract yourself and postpone going to the doctor as much as you can. If you set it as a challenge at least not to go for a week, maybe you will calm down and your breast pain will go away.

I hope it all feels better soon x

[RosieXXX]

Hello Sam,

Anxiety does dreadful things to our way of thinking, and when we get caught up in the loop of constant checking our anxiety levels tend to spiral. The aches, pains and twinges we feel can be caused by a multitude of reasons - perhaps a strained muscle - all sorts of reasons which people without health anxiety wouldn't give a second thought to. It is because we suffer with health anxiety every pain becomes heightened in our own mind, which of course all adds to our worry.

Try to hang on to the fact that your blood tests were fine, and when the doctor examined you there were no lumps, and everything is perfectly normal.

It isn't surprising your anxiety levels are so high, because you have suffered a great deal recently. I do hope when you see your doctor on Wednesday, you will be able to tell her exactly how you are feeling, and she may be able to reassure you further, it might be a good idea to have some counselling, which can be very helpful.

Meantime, please make a huge effort not to check for lumps; you are making yourself sore, and it is making your anxiety worse. I know how difficult it is not to worry, but do try to believe the doctor - all is well.

[smcc8172]

Sam, please try not to worry too much, I had exactly the same symptoms as you when one of my friends who I had not seen for some time told me she had breast cancer and had a mastectomy, she proceeded to describe how she had first encountered the symptoms etc ( I will not post them as I dont want anyone else to freak out!) Needless to say within an hour of the conversation I too was suffereing from terrible shooting and dragging pains in my breast, even though I had no symptoms like this WHATSOEVER prior to my conversation with her.

Even knowing it was anxiety, I was still freaking out, it lasted about 3 weeks and gradually disappered and now the pains have totally gone, but I was in agony from my shoulder downwards.

It will go, just re assure yourself with the blood test results and your doctors confidence.

Put yourself in your GP's place what would YOU do to convince someone with health anxiety everything was OK?

[sam1878]

thanks for your replies

Last night I took the diazepam the GP gave me I calmed down a little last night and took anoher one today all it has done really is result in me sleeping most of the day. It says to take 2 of these tabs 2 times a day

I am still feeling anxious and I have a stinking cold as well now to boot!

It hurst everytime I breathe in in my right breast and I cannot get rid of this anxiety. I am terrified once again

I am back with my GP on Wednesday, can she refuse to refer me for a private manamgram or ultrasound?

[RosieXXX]

Hello Sam,

Glad you are feeling a little more rested, although I know you are still feeling anxious. It is a good idea to keep on taking the diazepam, because I think it will probably begin to have a better effect once you have taken it for a few days.

I don't think your doctor can refuse to send you for a private mammogram or ultrasound, and if she feels this is the only way you can be reassured, she may be happy to arrange for this to be done. I think the pain you feel when you breath in could very easily be muscular. I am sorry you are feeling so distraught, and I do hope you will be feeling stronger soon.

[sam1878]

now its worse I am coughing due to my cold and my gums are sore because I gave up smoking, so when I spit out flem I think I am coughing up blood, so now I am forcing myself to cough to see if there is any there.

I cant stand this anymore and to make things worse I keep googling things and finding out Drs have mis diagnosed people, surely the Dr cant say I am healthy and ok just through blood tests

I gave up smoking 3 weeks ago today and I just feel like I am going insane here, I just want to cry or run away

[mick_uk]

Sam it's really good you gave up smoking. Not easy to do I guess. And the news about your blood tests was good. Try and think positive about the good blood test results. They can tell a lot from such tests. Try and hang on in there and keep off Google if you can.

take care

mick

[countrygirl]

I have all sorts of spinal problems with damage and this can give me bad pain in my breasts but its actually coming from the chest/ribs and I can also get intense priclking sensations from irritated spinal nerves over one breast and round my back but I have had this occasionally for past 15 yrs so know what it is. Just wanted to tell you that any muscular strain or slight spinal trouble could be very easily causing all your pain.

My neighbour/friend who is in her 60#s has had breast pain for a year and has only just got it checked out and her breast is fine they think its coming from her chest/ribs.

[sam1878]

thanks for your replies

I think whats upsetting me more is I feel everything is being put down to me being anxious and that is causing all these pains and I cant get my head round it.

I feel so sorry for my husband at the moment

[vastano]

Hi Sam

Last Sunday i got out of bed and got a terrible shooting pain in my back. I thought nothing more of it and carried on with the day. Later that day while walking i got a pain in my right testicle of all places. Again it lasted for a few seconds and went away. I panicked as it is not an area i ever think about and since then my mind has been obsessivley thinking about it. I started to get a sore back and sore stomach especially when sitting down. I can find no lumps or anything unsual and after a week i went to the doctors. He checked me out and everything was normal. I felt a bit better after seeing him and tried to put it out my mind which worked for a while as i remember being happy again feeling ok. I was out for a meal with friends and had a few drinks and again never thought about myself once. It has only been over the last few days the obsessive thoughts have returned and i feel discomfort again down below. Can my mind be so powerful that it brings on this ache? I pretty much think of this problem 24/7 and even dream of it! Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated as it is driving me crazy. I have had similar thoughts before on other areas of my body and it just takes over my life until something else comes along.

[BKF1515]

Sam, I haven't had time to read through all the posts but one thing that might make you feel better: I'm pretty sure breast cancer doesn't present with pain. I think there are a lot of other symptoms that indicate bc before pain. That being said, I am full of aches and pains and I guess I have to admit that they are probably magnified by my anxiety. I constantly think I have something serious and that I could be dying, but because of all these aches and pains which aren't good indications of anything. I also feel sorry for my husband because every once in awhile I break down and confess all my worries to him. He is so good and encouraging but I also worry that one of these days he'll realize how bonkers I am and not be able to take it anymore. That also heightens my anxiety! Anyway, take care and good luck. :)