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darkphantom
16-07-05, 10:50
yeas me again, i prob get my own page next called the ups and down of the darkphantom:)
Im still getting alot of messages of love and support which are helping me so much.
the last 3 days have been pretty bad, doc wont give me anymore diazpan as he said im getting addicted to them, so the nights when i need them are pretty bad, i have been drinking alot as well now. i had a alchol problem not long ago so bit worried.
Then to top it all, went to sit on our old bench and table but the wood had rotted, I got nice bump on head which prob did me some good:) but fell on my bad hand, so now got a lovely briuse on that now :(
Last night was pretty bad cause i thought i had lost someone special, so i drank all day, then was going to go swimming with the ducks, (cant swim), but silly me it was my fault my friend had been trying to ring and text, but i had fiddled with the phone and did something to it. silly me.
My friend was so great and supportive on phone she talked to me for couple of hours, i thought i could never trust and love another person after what others have done to me, but you all have been so special, i wont to tell you my friends name because she is so special and so caring but i will ask her first,
i dont know what i would of done without her lately, couple times i felt like giving up she is always there to pick me up give me a hug and put me on the little steps road, and sometimes kick my butt :D I meeting her next week i really looking forward to it it will be the first time I have gone out to meet anyone in over two years, im going to have a fun couple of days and smile all the time.
You all be proud, i finally threw away the suicide how to do clips that i been saving. I found a better way, when you down sometimes you dont feel like turning computor on, so i have written down alot of your support to me in a couple books one i keep in the car the other at home, and my friends poems they with me all the time they are beautiful, so now when im lonely or down, i get my book out and read and think of all you, then i dont feel alone, and it stops any bad thoughts cause i dont want to break my promise to you all. I fighting hard it been about 5 weeks now since i have od, and it all down to all of you for making me smile and feel loved and wanted, your all better than my care team. for all you and my special special friend x im taking 4 steps forward today. Sorry this long one just love all you big thankyou, please dont leave me love you all so much xxxxxxxxxx
susie[:X]

pips
16-07-05, 11:48
Ah I'm so pleased you are making progress hun. You keep up the good POSITIVE thinking you are doind so well> Im proud of you.

Take Good Care and have fun meeting your friend.

Love & Hugs to you,

PIP'S XX X X

seh1980
16-07-05, 14:20
Glad to hear that things are going a little better - keep it up :D

"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal

leo05
16-07-05, 14:29
hey susie dont mind you using my name at all
just so glad to be able to help you
i too looking forward to seeing you nxt wk we'll have a wicked time LOL
and you will learn to swim

Barb
16-07-05, 18:54
You are doing really well hun, keep it up. I am sure you will have a great time with Leanne, enjoy yourselves .

Luv Barb xxx

jammiebasket
17-07-05, 06:56
BIG CONGRATS on you starting to feel better:D[8D][^]

I hope that you have a great time with leo next week, and good luck learning to swin;):)


Take Carexx

Claire

"Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most!"

Meg
17-07-05, 19:53
Susie

You have done exactly the right thing in writing down all the positive messages and referring to it in times of distress and sadness.

Do please be aware of your previous alcohol issue and ensure you don't go down that route again.

You both take care of each other next week.



Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

EmmaJane
17-07-05, 20:20
Hi Susie,

Good luck with all the positive moves. Keep it up, and if you need a chat, im here for you.

Take Care and have fun next week.



Feel free to PM me, if you want to talk.

Emma xx

Keep focused, keep positive.

leo05
18-07-05, 16:43
hey all we will have loads of fun and i prob will teach susie how to speak my way lol you know what i mean susie and i will try not to show you the eels and worms but they are cute maybe go for swim with them