Wife recieved rude text on phone !

[psychocandy]

Something happened recently that was well dodgy.

Accidentally saw a text on my wifes mobile which just happened to arrive when I picked her phone up. I dont normally check my wifes phone.

Anyway, it was a very rude text telling the reciever what they were going to do with them sexually. From a person called D.

Wife had an explanation which sounded plausible. She does have a friend called Debbie who if I remember correctly she labels her as D on her mobile.

Anyway, she seemed a bit shocked by this text. She showed me her contact list to prove nothing was up. She then said she texted D and showed me the reply -'sorry about the text. spk soon. debbie' from D.

Also, she swore immediately on our sons life that she was telling the truth.

Would you trust your partner in these circumstances?

Shes never done anything dodgy and I do have (major) insecurity issues, I know, but I cant get the incident out of my mind. I keep thinking what if she changed the contacts around etc.

She did sound like she was speaking the truth, didnt hesitate to swear who it was from etc.

[sunshine-lady]

Sounds like it has been a mix up. Your wife proved that to you straight away.
Please try to put this to the back of your mind and move on before it eats away at you.
You sound like you have a wonderful wife, love her for who she is and don't let a mishap like this get in the way.
take care

[eeyorelover]

Weren't you just upset about her being on facebook not too long ago?
I understand being insecure cuz I have issues with it too but you really have to try and tell yourself that your wife loves you and keep reassuring yourself.
xxx
Sandy

[purplehaze]

Trust her and dont look for reasons not to. The worst thing to do is look for something that is not there.
Right now get the support for your own insecurities and I ma sure you both will benefit from it

Take care

[Anxious_gal]

some people will so not agree with me but thats ok.
I don't trust people easily.
I've often checked boyfriends texts, as it's the easiest way to find out if they are messing me about.
try not to over analyze this,
your wife seems very nice and it doesn't sound like she's lying to you.

[PHOBIA MAN]

insecurity grows like cancer, the real issue here is you. She has been open and honest about the text, you can just put it down to experience, or you can listen to the insecure voice inside, make yourself unbearable to live with with chronic controlling behaviour and such, and bring about the very thing you fear, her leaving! it's up to you!
apply logical thought to the inner voice and keep it in check!!
You have a good woman there, hanging on to her does not include being insecure, controlling, or 'keeping an eye on her'.
relax and get on with your life

[psychocandy]

Weren't you just upset about her being on facebook not too long ago?
I understand being insecure cuz I have issues with it too but you really have to try and tell yourself that your wife loves you and keep reassuring yourself.
xxx
Sandy

Sandy,

Yep. Thats me. Mr Insecure. :-(

xxx

[psychocandy]

Thanks all for your feedback.

So its looks like the consensus of opinion is that its me. I sort of was thinking that but thanks for reassuring me.

Sometimes I find it difficult to decide if an issue is real or whether its just me being insecure/paranoid, so its nice to get some honest feedback. Thanks all very much. :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:

Did speak to my wife about it again last night and told her it still bothered me. She was great about it and made an effort to reassure me, so I feel a little better now.

In the meantime, I've been attending CBT therapy. Trying to get this into my head. Also, jsut started on a new med - Clomipramine - so hopefully this may help too.

Fingers crossed....:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[eeyorelover]

Sandy,

Yep. Thats me. Mr Insecure. :-(

xxx

We all have our insecurities hun so don't beat yourself up about it.
Just try to talk yourself thru it and enjoy being together :)

Much love to ya from me, Mrs Insecure - hehe
xxx
Sandy

[Lilcharlie]

Iam insecure, I check my fiance's phone, Theres girls numbers on there who are his x girlfriends sister, I hate him talking to her just incase he goes off with her, I hate him looking at other girls as they have bigger boobs than me, and his favorite ones are white blondes, I wish i could change the way i look sometimes but i cant do that,

I try not to beat myself up over it, He deletes things i dont wanna see anyhow, but i cant not stop him doing anything, If hes to do it he will but i get scared x

[psychocandy]

Iam insecure, I check my fiance's phone, Theres girls numbers on there who are his x girlfriends sister, I hate him talking to her just incase he goes off with her, I hate him looking at other girls as they have bigger boobs than me, and his favorite ones are white blondes, I wish i could change the way i look sometimes but i cant do that,

I try not to beat myself up over it, He deletes things i dont wanna see anyhow, but i cant not stop him doing anything, If hes to do it he will but i get scared x

Lilcharlie,

Are you recieving any sort of professional help?

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Why would a female friend send that to your wife though?

Do you mean that debbie meant to send it to a male but sent to wrong number? Cos thats plausible I guess, although it is a heck of a coincidence...the rare time she makes a mistake is also the rare time you check the phone? I'd let it go but be on your guard.

[Lilcharlie]

Lilcharlie,

Are you recieving any sort of professional help?

I wish i was getting help professionaly sadly iam not no

Apart from being given a medication called citalopram, im scared taking it because of the side effects

[psychocandy]

I wish i was getting help professionaly sadly iam not no

Apart from being given a medication called citalopram, im scared taking it because of the side effects

How long have u been taking the citalopram?

Side effects usually go away after a bit.

[Lilcharlie]

Ive not started taking them yet im so frightened with all these side effects they say on the leaflet

I dont know what else to do? Iam just :scared10: over everything and everything

[nanny]

Unless you have had any other reason to distrust your wife i would believe what she is telling you. To harp on it would really do your head in and make for a unhappy situation with not trusting your wife.

It seems a lot of people get texts from others that seem to cause untold damage, accidently or people just trying to cause trouble.

Trust your wife and don't let this ruin your relationship:)

[psychocandy]

Ive not started taking them yet im so frightened with all these side effects they say on the leaflet

I dont know what else to do? Iam just :scared10: over everything and everything

Lilcharlie,

Yes, I know the list of side effects can be a bit frightening but just remember, just because they're listed doesnt mean you're going to get them. Chances are you'll experience none or very few of the side effects....

Go on, take the meds. It'll make you well again....

[Meewah]

Hi

I suspect Her friend Debbie could have sent the text to the wrong person, your wife.

I read a message on my wife's phone quiet a few months ago and freaked, it said " Sorry I forgot to say I'm married" from David. I questioned her on it and she laughed and said it was from one of her customers and was information for his Tax return, which seemed plausible too as my wife is an accountant.

I do feel that all these new ways to communicate add doubt and stress in everyones relationship.

Have you asked your wife how she feels about you been on "No more panic"?

It sounds to me like you need to re light your relationship. May be spend a bit of one to one time with her, Take her out for a meal. Get talking again.

You have to talk to each other about this type of things, you both are going to go through certain times in your relationship when you feel insecure and need reasurrance from each other.

Mee

[marie1974]

hiya hun, it sounds very innocent and just abit of a joke by your wifes friend, but i can see mayb how it made u feel.

try just not overthinknig things too much, cos alot of us have a habit of this including me and i end up thinking the opposite of wot i first thought and u know your wife so trust her and enjoy each other.

sometimes our own insecurities can mess up relationships more than any other problems so mayb get some counselling for yourseld like i did for me and i feel much better since i had cbt.

you are not alone hugs to u xxx

[mau]

It sounds all very innocent to me, honestly

If my daughter ever reads this, I'm DEAD MEAT!!!!

She accidentally sent a text to her boyfriend's dad saying that her BF was good in bed!!! The following day she phoned me in a panic:roflmao:

Don't beat yourself up about a text message.

Take care:hugs:

[psychocandy]

Hi

I suspect Her friend Debbie could have sent the text to the wrong person, your wife.

I read a message on my wife's phone quiet a few months ago and freaked, it said " Sorry I forgot to say I'm married" from David. I questioned her on it and she laughed and said it was from one of her customers and was information for his Tax return, which seemed plausible too as my wife is an accountant.

I do feel that all these new ways to communicate add doubt and stress in everyones relationship.

Have you asked your wife how she feels about you been on "No more panic"?

It sounds to me like you need to re light your relationship. May be spend a bit of one to one time with her, Take her out for a meal. Get talking again.

You have to talk to each other about this type of things, you both are going to go through certain times in your relationship when you feel insecure and need reasurrance from each other.

Mee

Mee,

Thanks. Dont think my wife knows about no more panic. She knows I've got issues we have talked about that though.

[psychocandy]

hiya hun, it sounds very innocent and just abit of a joke by your wifes friend, but i can see mayb how it made u feel.

try just not overthinknig things too much, cos alot of us have a habit of this including me and i end up thinking the opposite of wot i first thought and u know your wife so trust her and enjoy each other.

sometimes our own insecurities can mess up relationships more than any other problems so mayb get some counselling for yourseld like i did for me and i feel much better since i had cbt.

you are not alone hugs to u xxx

Ta Donna.... :yesyes:

[psychocandy]

It sounds all very innocent to me, honestly

If my daughter ever reads this, I'm DEAD MEAT!!!!

She accidentally sent a text to her boyfriend's dad saying that her BF was good in bed!!! The following day she phoned me in a panic:roflmao:

Don't beat yourself up about a text message.

Take care:hugs:

OMG. Bet she was mortified !!!! LOL.

[mau]

OMG. Bet she was mortified !!!! LOL.Well yes, I thought it was hilarious as did her BF's dad.

Your wife's friend D is probably mortified too, if she knows she sent the text to the wrong person.

[psychocandy]

Not been on this forum for a while but logged in for something else.

Found this old thread - interested to see how long ago it was.

Things have been OK since - a lot better. We've got a lovely 4 yr old daughter as well now.

I still think about this though. Still a bit unsure of exactly what went on here. To be honest, I'm erring towards it being a real text and her flirting with someone for a bit of a laugh. Not cool but I can see how she knows, at the time, how I'd react. Im 99% sure there was nothing more than this i.e affair.

We were going through a bit of a strange spell in our relationship then, not helped by the way I was.

It still affect me sometimes. Wish I could forget it completely.