please help before i breakdown cant go on

[fretty freda]

hi people i am going from bad to worse i really am ! i dont want to go on with life like this i would rather not be here anymore.
i fear i am loosing my mind i constantly doubt myself please see my other posts.Today i had a disscussion with my boss she says sometimes i ask something then she answers me and two minutes later i ask the same thing over again i honestly dont know i am doing this or why but i am now terrified to speak or be around people incase i repeat myself forget something or dont hear or see people i am going mad and i cant see a way out .:weep: :weep: :weep: :weep:

[bottleblond]

Honey you're not going mad! I do this all the time. It's because you mind is on other things (probably anxiety related) and you don't take things in properly. It's not the same thing at all, i promise you.

A good friend of mine once told me, It's the anxiety that causes all these weird and wonderfull symptoms and to fight them, we have to start by fighting the anxiety.

First thing you have to realise here is that forgetfull ness is not madness or insanity, it just means your mind is preoccupied.

Hope you feel better soon

Lisa
xxx

[tanya 1]

hi fretty freda, i agree with lisa,i do it all the time because sometimes i just dont listen and have got other things on my mind,to be honest i do it mostly with my boyfriend it drives him mad because i sometimes ask him a question like 5 times in 10 mins its because i ask him something then dont listen to his reply,so dont worry honestly,i just laugh about it instead of worrying.
tanya 1 x

[Mully]

Stress, anxiety, medication.. all these things can affect our working memory. Or in my case ' non working memory'! lol

The working memory is our short term memory, what we use for temporary information on a day to day basis. example: Someone asks you to buy some bread as you are on your way out the door to the shop, when you get there you have forgotten and come home without it.. or.. You think about getting somthing from upstairs, but 5 mins when you get there you can't remember what the hell it was you wanted!..

I had a pretty tough time of it last November and found I was putting the tea bags in the fridge, the milk in the cupboard and when I opened a tin of beans and went to put the lid into the bin.. I realised that in fact I was putting the whole tin of beans in the bin !.. I thought I was getting dementia! because I was ( and still do sometimes ) doing all this stupid, forgetful stuff!..

However, after talking to my Doctor, he assured me that I was sane! and not loosing my marbles.. He explained to me how Stress and sometimes the medication we take can affect us.. and that sometimes we will be forgetful and do very odd things!.. When we are stressed and trying to live our lives, we have so much on our minds.. sometimes unknowingly, that forgetting these little things become common.

I now laugh at myself, and don't worry about it anymore... i just double check that after cooking that the oven is turned off etc lol.. and accept that I can be a bit dippy at times.

If you ask someone a question and they say ' i've told you already!' just laugh it off and say ' yeah I know, I have a memory like a sieve!'..


Huggles x

[fretty freda]

thankyou for yur advice and support but i still dont want to see anyone or speak to anyone if i hide away from everyone then i wont make a fool of myself maybe people think i am insane anyway i dont want to be here anymore .

[daniel_ploss]

you r not going mad PM me

[tommy1982]

It's extremely common for people with anxiety to think are going mad or insane

this can become an obsession and you can start monitoring yourself, people with anxiety dont loose it or go Scitzophrinic what ever it doesnt work that way


anxiety can however really affect your concentration and memory which might be what you are experiencing now every so slighty and obsessing freaking out about.


I went through a stage where i was monitoring my hearing, my sight, my senses all because i thought i was going nuts, that was years ago and the obsession went away in time, it was tuff.

What you are experiencing is normal!

[fretty freda]

thankyou but i dont want 2 be forgetful people who dont know i have anxiety will think i am insane also i have just started a new job at the hospital 2 days a week i am now realising i am not good enough to do the job so i cant go back the consultant will think i am insane i just wanna end my life

[bottleblond]

Freda

Ending your life is not an option and who said you are not good enough? you!? Well you are good enough and anxiety can be managed with the correct treatment. You work in a hospital so i am quite sure they will understand your issues. You have to talk huni, don't hide the fact that you suffer as it will only make you more uptight and prone to mistakes! Jings hun it's 2009, anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of.

Please take charge of this hun and get some help!

Love Lisa
xxx

[SharonDerby]

Hi Fretty
i had this exact same problem many years ago now, i suffered for a long time then one day just in passing (i was having a blood test at the time) the nurse and i got talking, turns out she was a nurse in mental health prior to her GP days and simply said to me why are you so anxious about going mad? i said because i just did not want to, i wanted to keep my ming and my mental health and i was scared i was going mad, she just laffed and said flippantly "well it's good that you think your going mad, because as long as you think your going mad you CAN NOT possibly go mad" i stared at her and said WHAT she repeated herself and i said is that true she said of course, if you were going mad you wouldn't know about it, i know this might not be a cure or an answer to your problems but it helped me enormously, so much so that from that day 15 years ago i never worried about it, and now even though i still suffer dreadful anxiety and panic attacks, i'm quite happy to be slightly crazy/different/freaky whatever words people want to use i'm ok , and so are you, your mind is just tired and you are fearing the worst, just tell yourself next time you have these thoughts that as long as you can think them then they can't harm you, that will quell the fear a little and in time the thoughts because they don't frighten you so much will pass and become less and less.

Hugs Sharon :)

[SharonDerby]

lol did i just put i wanted to keep my ming and my mental health....lololol see obviously i meant mind i just spell it differently lol.

Sharon

[fretty freda]

thankyou everyone soo much i wish i could take u guys around with me all day on my arm to look after me xxxx

[fretty freda]

i figured if i have to go on in this world its best i dont speak to anyone that way then i wont repeat myself people wont notice i forget things and think i am crazy think i am going to hibernate for as long as i can if i sleep all the time it is the next best thing to getting away from the world

[pink daisy]

Im feeling pretty poo at the minute. but the thing is i know it will pass I hope you feel better soon x

[fretty freda]

what do i do i have hit rock bottom !! i only started my new job two weeks ago how can i phone in sick ?? i can bearly get out of bed never mind go to work

[Gemma T]

Im always asking people to repeat themselves. Your not going mad. You seem to have loads on your mind. Your prob not giving your full attention x x x

[fretty freda]

what can you do when u just cant get out of bed anymore you feel so hopeless an u have explored every avenue of help ??

[rgb76]

Hi Fretty

Don't despair- you are a worthwhile person who is equal to every in society. Re: the job you're bound to feel anxious as it is a new job-don't be so hard on yourself- I feel the same sometimes and try and console myself with some positive thoughts like I am a worthy person, no one gets every thing right etc etc- hope this helps? Don't mean to sound patronising! Let us know how you get on

take care

rgb

[fretty freda]

cheers everyone

[Gettinghappier]

Fretty. I want to give you a big hug.
Have you got anyone close by you can talk to? Family of friend?
If you haven't then come and post here and everyone can assure you slowly that you are going to be ok if you take a little bit of time out.
I agree that anxiety can do absurd things to us. I remember one day having a huge argument with a colleague at work because I completely misunderstood what he said. It was so obvious what he said but I just didn't get it. My other colleagues laughed because it was so obvious. This of course made me feel worse and completely mad and useless etc.
Look, life can feel good again. Many of us can testify :)

Keep talking ok.

[faith]

try writing things down at work then you will not forget them , a member of my family does this as she cannot remember stuff either and it works for her.try to reassure yourself that things can improve, have you got someone close to talk to?

[Yvonne]

Freda

It's awful when you have tried all the therapies and the meds (I assume you have) and you still feel bad. I know because I have been through it as well. I'm sure lots of others have as well.

I've had cbt, I've had an occupational therapist, I've had all the meds, now I'm having cbt/talking therapy and I still am not as I should be - far from it.

When you finally get the courage to go back to work it is a huge stressor and what can happen is that it can cause the anxiety to flare up again. It's a double edged sword because you want to work so you can distract your mind and be with people but the stress it can put on you can make you feel worse.

Maybe you are stressing about the job, especially if you don't feel good enough. The stress could be causing the memory thing. Please please don't worry about forgetting stuff - I'm always going upstairs for something and then getting up there and wondering what I went up for!!! It's nothing at all to worry about.

You have a think about the job and whether it's making you worse or better. If you have to give up the job then so be it. Don't persecute yourself. Take great care.