On Behalf of my Lovely Joy xx

[Yvonne]

I'm writing this post on behalf of Joy who is a great friend of mine. She feels I write better posts than her - I would disagree but here goes. As many replies as possible if you would all accommodate..... Pleasexx

Joy is like me, has had every anti depressant known to psychiatrists. She has never been the same since she came off Seroxat some four years ago (same as me).

After trying all the anti depressants, plus trying a mood stabiliser and an anti psychotic (Risperidone) she still hasn't made a good recovery from her high anxiety levels. She uses lorazepam to help the anxiety but even this is no miracle worker. She does not abuse lorazepam and is definitely not addicted to it.

I have never known a woman who is as brave as Joy - she undertakes a lot of work for her church and will go out to meetings etc feeling chronic anxiety. She just suffers the pain and gets on with it. She also works in a charity shop one morning a week, again, a lot of the time she goes despite her anxiety.

Joy recently came off Risperidone because it was giving her awful nightmares and it wasn't helping her anxiety. Obviously she was on a very low dosage which is used for anxiety conditions.

She did see an NHS psychiatrist who she didn't find very helpful and not at all sympathetic. He referred her to a cbt specialist in his team who turned out to be completely useless. I know this because she tells me everything and I was quite shocked at this particular therapist and the way she treated Joy.

What worries me is that in the last four years Joy's anxiety levels have not decreased as they should have. However, she has had some good weeks on and off and even managed to go abroad last year. I say should have because no one on earth could face the fear like she has and as for exposure therapy - well she never gives up.

Joy still gets the disgusting soul destroying morning anxiety which in my opinion should have lessened by now.

She is back on Seroxat because it was her last hope. Others we both know eventually went back on the medication and have done pretty well. Sadly it hasn't done a thing for Joy's anxiety.

Joy has seen a private psychiatrist recently who has recommended talking therapy with an excellent psychologist. I think this will help her a lot. The psychiatrist told Joy she is suffering depression which shocked her a bit because she has always felt that although she has high anxiety levels she didn't considered herself to be depressed.

The psychiatrist has given Joy a very low dosage of Olanzepine - another anti psychotic - in an effort to alleviate the anxiety. She is finding it no use whatsoever - in fact the anxiety is a bit more severe. Anyone taking Olanzepine please comment if you would.

With Joy, the anxiety is not connected to a future event, she can feel it all day long for no apparent reason. She has a good life and a wonderful husband and two lovely grown up children.

Joy has been a truly wonderful friend and support to me and I although I suffer badly myself - particularly with low mood I don't get these high anxiety levels which she does. I have suffered chronic anxiety in the past as many others have and I know it's hell on earth. I just want to help her in any way I can. Sadly we live a long way away from each other. If I could get to her I would but it isn't possible.

I would be grateful please for comments and support and advice. I hope that TETLEY will reply to this post (I'm a big fan of the tea holic).

Thanks everyone.

My love to all xxxx

[Blot]

Hi, I feel so much sympathy for Joy and I think that she is fabulous continuing to work, be involved with church activities when she feels so very anxious. God bless her

xxBlot

[pooh]

Hi

Can you ask Joy a question for me? What are her first thoughts in the morning ( not her feelings) her thoughts?

Cheers

Pooh

[Mully]

Joy sounds like a real fighter, she battles on regardless and I have great admiration and respect for her. It takes courage and shows her strength of character in forging on with her life and helping out at her church and Charity shops shows her selfless commitment to living her life and helping others the best that she can.

I agree that maybe depression could be a factor in what has hindered her lately..I know from my own experience that depression can really screw things up and affect you in ways which only enhances the anxiety you feel.

Please tell her, that she can survive this... she is strong.. and that she must not give up hope.. or faith. She is lucky to have you as her friend, she her family too .. she has a support network around her and I feel with all this and her own determination she will overcome this dark time.

I think also, that will all the drugs she has been trying and coming off of, may have played a major role too in how she is feeling of late..also, it can be soo soul destroying to have a therapist or psyc treat you in such an uncompassionate way!.. I don't speak from exp on this, but I do have a friend who also had a therapist who treated her really badly and said some awful things to her. ..

I do so hope that she will find the right medication to help her and the therapist soon.. if she could get these two things in her life then should could begin to move forward once more.. unfortunatly it seems its going to be trial and error untill then maybe.

Anyhoo.. I send her my biggest Huggles xx

[Yvonne]

Joy will be reading these posts and no doubt adding her comments - she is a regular on NMP by the way. Thanks for the replies.

[joy]

Hello Joy here


Thank you for the replies and thanks to Yvonne my best on line friend for starting the ball rolling.

I have seen 3 shrinks all of which have given different diagnosises which doesnt give you much faith and all advised different meds!

My thoughts on waking are oh no i'm still anxious cos i go to bed with great hope everynight that this gremlin will have gone so i suppose i always wake with disappointment as well and know I have to face another day of the struggle.

Keep the thoughts coming

Love Joy

[Smiley?]

I have seen 3 shrinks all of which have given different diagnosises which doesnt give you much faith and all advised different meds!


That does remind me of that BBC programme that was on not long ago where the health professionals had to guess who had what mental illness out of those people.

It just shows that there is an art to mental health work and that it can be interpreted differently by different people.

Joy, if you're going to continue with meds then you might just have to try the med or combination of meds that all three of these shrinks are suggesting and take the time to find out what works for you.

Meanwhile, I think everything else you are doing is great, I applaud you!

And Yvonne, you're a good egg aren't you?!! :winks:

[Yvonne]

Hi Smiler xxx

She is a good friend. Hope you okay xxx

[Yvonne]

More comments please. x

[pooh]

Hi there

the reasion I asked about your thoughts in the morning is because these are the very things that will and can set us up for the rest of the day. You say you go to bed with great hope but inevitably you wake the next morning with the same feeling the same thoughts. The hope of the evening before isnt important here, what is important is that in reality it wouldnt matter what you think the night before so far experience and pattern have preprogrammed you to think like this on waking. So the biggie is ....how do you change that? What I am hearing from what you are saying is that as you wake up there is an expectation. As we all wake up our bodies go from being completely relaxed to having a degree of tension. it could be as simple as that natural process that triggers off your thoughts and it has been done for so long and so often its an unconscious thing now.

There are two things I would recommend that you try initially:

Put a positive message up in your room that is the first thing you see when you open your eyes. The second thing is to use your body and physically move into becoming awake. I'll explain....Have a yawn (keep your eyes closed) stretch your legs and poitn your toes. Stretch your arms up above your head and out to the sides. Imagine you are a cat stretching out in the heat coming through a window. This is physically moving yourself into being awake. Open your eyes and read your positive message. SAY YOUR POSITIVE MESSAGE OUT LOUD. This is important because it has to be louder than your internal voice telling you you feel anxious.

If you want to you can give it a go for a while and let me know how it goes.

There are more things you can try too

Pooh xx

[joy]

Pooh

I think you could be right and its become a habit altho when i had a good week a while ago it didnt happen. My husband may think I've gone mad but I'll give it a go!

Love Joy

[joy]

Tetley

My Gp is lovely and given me a lot of support over the last few years but she is at a bit of a loss as to why the meds dont work but believe me I've spent a lot of time in her surgery!!!!

Its the shrinks I have trouble with altho the one i saw last week seemed good and have referred me to a psychologist to try and discover if my ""problem" is chemical or needs talking therapy. He actually admitted that he thinks the medical profession has let me down over the last few years which is quite an admission.
So on we go


Love Joy

[Yvonne]

Really good postings.

Pooh you were right about it being a habit thing because my therapist has told me this about myself. Because I "expect" to become anxious in shops I will do. She says that I go onto auto pilot in the direction of anxiety and I must change course - it isn't easy though is it.

Tea Drinker --- with you I think your acceptance and not worrying about what others think attitude is what's helped you a lot. xx

[mf]

I think that you are very brave Joy to muster up the courage to go about your day,despite those awful gut wrenching anxiety feelings churning away.. I too suffer with terrible anxiety,mine is associated with worrying about things that have happened and worrying about things that may happen ( if that makes sense) I have just started back in anti-deps but so far i do not feel any better, i very occassionally resort to a lorazepam if i feel that i am going into a really bad anxiety/panic attack and i find that it does calm me down temporarily.. I do not really consider myself to be a depressive but i think that the prolonged anxiety and obsessive worrying thoughts have led me to become depressed.. I too have had cbt at the advice of my physciatrist, but apart from costing a small fortune i cannot say that it has helped.. The mornings do seem the worst,the prospect of facing another anxiety filled day is so exhausting and frightening,sometimes it takes every ounce of strength and effort just to get out of bed.. I admire you for doing so much,you are obviously a very strong and determined lady despite battling with this awful condition every day... I know only too well what torture it can be...

[sunshine-lady]

Hi Joy

I don't know you, but you sound like a wonderful caring lady who gives up your time to work for charity and help with the curch. Just thought i would send you some hugs.

:bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1:

[joy]

Thanks for the hugs and the nice comments, I'm not any of those nice things just trying to get thro the days.

The new shrink advised my Gp to prescribe Olanzapine for the anxiety and its giving me terrible nightmares, just contacted him or rather his sec who contacted him who said i should discuss it with my Gp who prescribed them!!!! The reason for seeing the shrink was my GP was at a loss! Feel like I'm being bounced between them.


Love Joy

[Yvonne]

As I said to you earlier, the whole point of you going to a private shrink was so that you could have a closer relationship with him than you may be able with an NHS one who are obviously run off their feet with their workload.

Your doctor is not qualified enough in anxiety or the medications used to advise/help you to the degree you require - this is why she agreed to your referral to a private psychiatrist.

Even my (ex) psychiatrist would spend ages speaking on the phone to me about my meds, my feelings and thoughts, and was marvellous when I felt very distressed with anxiety.

Speak to your gp.

Anyone out there got a private psychiatrist ?? Please let us know what the relationship should ideally be like and whether it is easier to speak to them on the phone etc than it is to NHS shrinks.

Thanks all.

All this is only adding to Joy's frustration and upset.

[Oceanblue]

Am here if you need to talk Joy, anytime i'm happy to help, pm whenever you feel, no worries at all.

Good luck in your recovery,

Take good care of yourself xx:flowers:

[freakedout]

Hi Joy,

I totally respect your strength and courage to face activities despite high levels of anxiety. You put my pathetic efforts to shame. I have to agree with some of the comments about habituation, I know for me sometimes I just have to be prepared for the worst scenario's, it is an odd coping mechanism but obviously it causes anxiety. The only other way I know how to deal with high anxiety is to avoid, take diazepam or freak out. Not much help there, sorry. Interestingly though I also have depression and do find that when I feel particularly depressed I don't have the energy to be anxious. It tends to be a mixture of both for me but there is definately a link with my mood and my anxious/panic symptoms.

I do believe that thoughts are the root of a lot of evil but sometimes the way you think is so automatic that you cannot even think of alternatives. Maybe getting angry at your anxiety, telling yourself you are not gonna let anxiety spoil your day, you have had enough of it, tell your anxious thoughts to "Sod off" - its just a thought :blush:.

My husband took Olanzapine he did have noticable side effects for the first couple of weeks or so but once these settled he did feel benefits. Not sure what dose you are on but it may be making your anxiety feel worse because it is early days. I hope it helps.

Keep fighting, not one single one of us deserves to have our lives so badly affected by anxiety symptoms, depression etc.. Talk therapy might help, sometimes I think it is only possible for therapists to get a fuller picture of your life, problems, symptoms etc by seeing you regularly. Seeing a psychologist helps me immensely. I see an NHS Psychiatrist so cannot comment on private.

Good luck, keep posting. Yvonne, you are an absolute gem :hugs:
it was so kind of you to post on behalf of Joy.

Take care

Freaky