MrsThomas76
15-02-09, 22:26
Hi there... me again.
I hope I'm posting this in the correct forum, but here goes anyway.
I've suffered from depression/anxiety for many years and had various different forms of medication, none of which I've felt have worked.
The problem I suffer is a form of homesickness/anxiety - it's a bit difficult to explain really. I lost both of my last jobs (good careers) because being at work, all I could think about was going home - being around familiar people and surroundings, and the feeling got so emotionally intense that I'd end up in tears constantly, resulting in my always going home. Eventually, it got so bad that the doctor signed me off sick and I subsequently lost my job after taking so much time off.
Well, I've been pretty much this way all of my life... school, work, doctors appointments, dentists, and now it's back ten-fold.
Hubby and I live in America at the moment, (he's American, I'm British) and we're now at the end of a 2-month long stay with my parents in England. We fly back to America on Tuesday, and I am in pieces.
I just don't want to say goodbye to my family again, the thought of being so far away from them is killing me, and I just don't know how I am going to find the strength to get on that plane.
We visited the UK for a month last year, and from the moment we left my parents' home to touching down in America, I cried the whole way.
I feel constantly on the verge of tears thinking about packing our suitcases, I even feel hatred and resentment towards my husband's family simply because it's as though they're taking me away from mine for so long.
It doesn't help the fact that my mother-in-law is a 76 yr old vindictive old woman who's house we live in, and I just can't bear the thought of another 6 months under her roof.
Hubby and I are planning on moving back to the UK sometime next Autumn, but even with that to look forward to, the anxiety about how we'll cope financially, how we'll fly our dog over with us and introduce her to my parents' cat, what we'll live on money-wise... I just can't cope and feel totally overwhelmed.
I am currently on 500 micrograms (2x a day) of Xanax but it's just not helping with the overwhelming feeling of loss and sadness. All it's doing is making me feel tired.
Does anyone else have problems with homesickness like this, particularly when you're at work? Has anyone else had to leave their family behind for a long period of time, and if so, how the heck did you find the strength to actually leave?
Please help me, someone.... I don't want to feel like this any longer, and I fear that my understanding, sympathetic husband will eventually stop feeling as patient with me if I can't cheer up and stop grumbling all the time.
Also, since we have no medical insurance (nor can afford any), I cannot see a counsellor or psychiatrist, which I feel might help me greatly. Does anyone know of any free or extremely cheap places I could go to in the San Antonio, TX area for help with my problem?
I hope I'm posting this in the correct forum, but here goes anyway.
I've suffered from depression/anxiety for many years and had various different forms of medication, none of which I've felt have worked.
The problem I suffer is a form of homesickness/anxiety - it's a bit difficult to explain really. I lost both of my last jobs (good careers) because being at work, all I could think about was going home - being around familiar people and surroundings, and the feeling got so emotionally intense that I'd end up in tears constantly, resulting in my always going home. Eventually, it got so bad that the doctor signed me off sick and I subsequently lost my job after taking so much time off.
Well, I've been pretty much this way all of my life... school, work, doctors appointments, dentists, and now it's back ten-fold.
Hubby and I live in America at the moment, (he's American, I'm British) and we're now at the end of a 2-month long stay with my parents in England. We fly back to America on Tuesday, and I am in pieces.
I just don't want to say goodbye to my family again, the thought of being so far away from them is killing me, and I just don't know how I am going to find the strength to get on that plane.
We visited the UK for a month last year, and from the moment we left my parents' home to touching down in America, I cried the whole way.
I feel constantly on the verge of tears thinking about packing our suitcases, I even feel hatred and resentment towards my husband's family simply because it's as though they're taking me away from mine for so long.
It doesn't help the fact that my mother-in-law is a 76 yr old vindictive old woman who's house we live in, and I just can't bear the thought of another 6 months under her roof.
Hubby and I are planning on moving back to the UK sometime next Autumn, but even with that to look forward to, the anxiety about how we'll cope financially, how we'll fly our dog over with us and introduce her to my parents' cat, what we'll live on money-wise... I just can't cope and feel totally overwhelmed.
I am currently on 500 micrograms (2x a day) of Xanax but it's just not helping with the overwhelming feeling of loss and sadness. All it's doing is making me feel tired.
Does anyone else have problems with homesickness like this, particularly when you're at work? Has anyone else had to leave their family behind for a long period of time, and if so, how the heck did you find the strength to actually leave?
Please help me, someone.... I don't want to feel like this any longer, and I fear that my understanding, sympathetic husband will eventually stop feeling as patient with me if I can't cheer up and stop grumbling all the time.
Also, since we have no medical insurance (nor can afford any), I cannot see a counsellor or psychiatrist, which I feel might help me greatly. Does anyone know of any free or extremely cheap places I could go to in the San Antonio, TX area for help with my problem?