Jay21
18-02-09, 10:30
Why ? This is a question i seem to be asking myself far too often recently.
Why my emotions, imprisoned in my head, with only the space for sadness, or fear, to escape between the bars.
Why my brain’s reluctance to force my tongue to portray the answers to their question’s.
Questions that rip into my soul, not due to their intent, but my inability to retaliate.
Anger seems to replace logic, they should understand, normality is not a given.
How would they feel?
Numb, expressionless, well at least on the outside. I die a little more inside as the day’s pass,
still unable to spar socially, I crave to trade blows with peers, uninhibited by heavy dread.
Dread so heavy each muscle, head to toe, aches constantly, reminding me of this bundle of confusion I’ve carried for five years.
Temporary escape, a bottle shaped key frees confidence and rational thought.
This liquor gives me false hope, but hope nonetheless.
The taste of life resuscitates my heart, I feel again, and for each drink gain wisdom, charm and wit.
Euphoria spreads like wild fire, and I am reborn. Pain is a distant memory, uninhibited I am at last one of the ignorant, the unaware.
Victimized by the need for acceptance or brief escape, anxiety punishes me.
New found confidence, that feeling of invincibility drips away to reveal my true fragility.
I knew, deep down it would end up this way. But it’s a price i’m glad to pay.
For happiness is a luxury i can ill afford.
Why my emotions, imprisoned in my head, with only the space for sadness, or fear, to escape between the bars.
Why my brain’s reluctance to force my tongue to portray the answers to their question’s.
Questions that rip into my soul, not due to their intent, but my inability to retaliate.
Anger seems to replace logic, they should understand, normality is not a given.
How would they feel?
Numb, expressionless, well at least on the outside. I die a little more inside as the day’s pass,
still unable to spar socially, I crave to trade blows with peers, uninhibited by heavy dread.
Dread so heavy each muscle, head to toe, aches constantly, reminding me of this bundle of confusion I’ve carried for five years.
Temporary escape, a bottle shaped key frees confidence and rational thought.
This liquor gives me false hope, but hope nonetheless.
The taste of life resuscitates my heart, I feel again, and for each drink gain wisdom, charm and wit.
Euphoria spreads like wild fire, and I am reborn. Pain is a distant memory, uninhibited I am at last one of the ignorant, the unaware.
Victimized by the need for acceptance or brief escape, anxiety punishes me.
New found confidence, that feeling of invincibility drips away to reveal my true fragility.
I knew, deep down it would end up this way. But it’s a price i’m glad to pay.
For happiness is a luxury i can ill afford.