TerriAnn
18-02-09, 13:11
I have a really huge vomiting phobia since I was a child and I have now decided that enough is enough - I need to find a better way to cope. I have been to the doctors this morning and she is going to refer me for Cognitive Therapy Behaviour.
I have two little boys, a two and a half year old and a five and a half month year old and having them is the biggest blessing of my life, but the hardest at times. When I was pregnant I felt sick all the time, although I never actually vomited and I would sit in the bath at night and cry and wish that the scared feelings would just go away and that I would pull myself out of it. I honestly looking back have no idea how I got through. I was also so scared of taking meds during the labours that I had two natural births, I couldn't even try gas and air. I had my second at home as I hate hospitals - full of sickness and germs.
Can I just get off the subject for one second and confess something that I've never said out loud, I've not even told my husband and I tell him everything. Between having my two boys, I was pregnant and feeling very sick and sorry for myself, I started having stomach cramps and was convinced that I was going to be sick and started with a panic attack. Shortly after I started to bleed badly so my husband drove me to the hospital and on the way there in the car, I felt so sick and I thought, I hope that I am having a miscarrage, I can't cope with the nausea anymore. How awful is that? For a mother to think that makes my blood go cold and I will never forgive myself for thinking it. I did lose the baby, it was a miscarrage but I will always blame myself for wanting the morning sickness to stop.
Anywhoo, back to why I'm excited. My son, my husband and I had a sickness bug a month ago and my phobia has been so bad since then. I have lost over a stone and a half since the bug as I have not been eating or drinking. My hair is falling out, I have a constant headaches , dizzyness and tiredness and when I try to eat, I get such bad stomach cramps that I cannot eat.
I have just decided that enough is enough and today is the start of turning things around and I have just ate two slices of bread and butter. I had the cramps and it took a while, but I did it so I have treat myself to a flake from the shop and I may try to eat that later. This is so huge for me as I have been having the odd bowl of dry cereal every couple of days and living off of sugar free polos and peppermint tea.
I know its only a small step but every step is a step towards living a "normal" life and not being ruled by my anxieties.
I have two little boys, a two and a half year old and a five and a half month year old and having them is the biggest blessing of my life, but the hardest at times. When I was pregnant I felt sick all the time, although I never actually vomited and I would sit in the bath at night and cry and wish that the scared feelings would just go away and that I would pull myself out of it. I honestly looking back have no idea how I got through. I was also so scared of taking meds during the labours that I had two natural births, I couldn't even try gas and air. I had my second at home as I hate hospitals - full of sickness and germs.
Can I just get off the subject for one second and confess something that I've never said out loud, I've not even told my husband and I tell him everything. Between having my two boys, I was pregnant and feeling very sick and sorry for myself, I started having stomach cramps and was convinced that I was going to be sick and started with a panic attack. Shortly after I started to bleed badly so my husband drove me to the hospital and on the way there in the car, I felt so sick and I thought, I hope that I am having a miscarrage, I can't cope with the nausea anymore. How awful is that? For a mother to think that makes my blood go cold and I will never forgive myself for thinking it. I did lose the baby, it was a miscarrage but I will always blame myself for wanting the morning sickness to stop.
Anywhoo, back to why I'm excited. My son, my husband and I had a sickness bug a month ago and my phobia has been so bad since then. I have lost over a stone and a half since the bug as I have not been eating or drinking. My hair is falling out, I have a constant headaches , dizzyness and tiredness and when I try to eat, I get such bad stomach cramps that I cannot eat.
I have just decided that enough is enough and today is the start of turning things around and I have just ate two slices of bread and butter. I had the cramps and it took a while, but I did it so I have treat myself to a flake from the shop and I may try to eat that later. This is so huge for me as I have been having the odd bowl of dry cereal every couple of days and living off of sugar free polos and peppermint tea.
I know its only a small step but every step is a step towards living a "normal" life and not being ruled by my anxieties.