Mully
18-02-09, 23:30
I have never really thought of this as PTSD.. but lately I feel that perhaps I actually have a problem.
Reading recently of Jade Goody's latest illness has prompted me to go get a smear test .. one I should of got 8 years ago!.. It is not through embarressment or having to go through the process that has put me off, but rather due to an awful experience I had back in 1995. .. Let me explain.
Since I was about 18, I had to go for smear tests every 6 months, as I had what is called ' an errosion of the cervix' there is another name used but I cannot think of it now.. Anyhoo. this meant that I had to be checked regularly and I was pretty used to going and getting a smear done. I never had a problem going, and used to go to the main Gyno area at my local hospital, I even knew the nurses by name !. Inevitably the results eventually came back saying I had bad cells, and off I went for a colposcopy, which was not too much of a problem. I had a Female Doc and she took 3 biops which were uncomfortable but pretty much painless. I was then told that I would have to have Laser treatment to remove the cells.
It was as an outpatient, the surgery would not take long and I was told it was painless as I would be given a local anesthetic.. However on the day, I was not greeted by the same Doctor, but one that said no more to me other than ' Morning ' .. the Nurse was young but seemed freindly. I was then told ( by the nurse ) that I was not having Laser, I would be having what is called ' Loop diathermy' which consists of charging up a thin loop of wire with electricity that would be used to scrape all the bad cells from my cervix.. Ok, I thought..
Then the most horrific experience of my life took place.
I was given an injection of local anesthetic, my friend could not hold my hand as I had to be earthed ' apparently'.. I wore a blue sticker on my leg.. anyhoo.. I was nervous but ok, untill I felt the most escruciating pain! I had ever felt in my life!.. to cut the the point, the anesthetic did not work.. and I felt everything...
I will not go into too much detail here.. as I don't want to frighten people.. that really, regardless of what happened to me it is rare..and this procedure is usually at most uncomfortable...
But for me, I suffered.. and I was also not treated very well.. after two more injections of anesthetic, the Doctor just went in a did a final scrape!.. I was a mess.. I was in shock, in pain, and felt like I had been treated like a piece of meat.. I found out later from my own GP that he had reiceived many complaints about that Doc and that i should report him and sue.. and that he would support me.. however, I just wanted it over and done with.
Anyhoo.. I am wondering if I have PTSD from this ?.. as after I was given the all clear 8 years ago.. I have not been.. and as much as I want to go, I just have this mental block..
I am not worried about having bad cells.. I fear having to have treatment again..
I must stress again though.. to anyone reading this.. that I have spoken to many people about this procedure and so far i am the only person this has happened to, so please please, do not be put off by my story. I need to take my own advice and go get done.. and if I have to have treatment again, then I can say my fears and explain why.. and maybe they will understand and knock me out next time lol.. but still.. the fear is there.
Reading recently of Jade Goody's latest illness has prompted me to go get a smear test .. one I should of got 8 years ago!.. It is not through embarressment or having to go through the process that has put me off, but rather due to an awful experience I had back in 1995. .. Let me explain.
Since I was about 18, I had to go for smear tests every 6 months, as I had what is called ' an errosion of the cervix' there is another name used but I cannot think of it now.. Anyhoo. this meant that I had to be checked regularly and I was pretty used to going and getting a smear done. I never had a problem going, and used to go to the main Gyno area at my local hospital, I even knew the nurses by name !. Inevitably the results eventually came back saying I had bad cells, and off I went for a colposcopy, which was not too much of a problem. I had a Female Doc and she took 3 biops which were uncomfortable but pretty much painless. I was then told that I would have to have Laser treatment to remove the cells.
It was as an outpatient, the surgery would not take long and I was told it was painless as I would be given a local anesthetic.. However on the day, I was not greeted by the same Doctor, but one that said no more to me other than ' Morning ' .. the Nurse was young but seemed freindly. I was then told ( by the nurse ) that I was not having Laser, I would be having what is called ' Loop diathermy' which consists of charging up a thin loop of wire with electricity that would be used to scrape all the bad cells from my cervix.. Ok, I thought..
Then the most horrific experience of my life took place.
I was given an injection of local anesthetic, my friend could not hold my hand as I had to be earthed ' apparently'.. I wore a blue sticker on my leg.. anyhoo.. I was nervous but ok, untill I felt the most escruciating pain! I had ever felt in my life!.. to cut the the point, the anesthetic did not work.. and I felt everything...
I will not go into too much detail here.. as I don't want to frighten people.. that really, regardless of what happened to me it is rare..and this procedure is usually at most uncomfortable...
But for me, I suffered.. and I was also not treated very well.. after two more injections of anesthetic, the Doctor just went in a did a final scrape!.. I was a mess.. I was in shock, in pain, and felt like I had been treated like a piece of meat.. I found out later from my own GP that he had reiceived many complaints about that Doc and that i should report him and sue.. and that he would support me.. however, I just wanted it over and done with.
Anyhoo.. I am wondering if I have PTSD from this ?.. as after I was given the all clear 8 years ago.. I have not been.. and as much as I want to go, I just have this mental block..
I am not worried about having bad cells.. I fear having to have treatment again..
I must stress again though.. to anyone reading this.. that I have spoken to many people about this procedure and so far i am the only person this has happened to, so please please, do not be put off by my story. I need to take my own advice and go get done.. and if I have to have treatment again, then I can say my fears and explain why.. and maybe they will understand and knock me out next time lol.. but still.. the fear is there.