agoraphobia..... please tell me how you also cope?

[m15helle]

:hugs: hi i have had agoraphobia for about 3 years, and it really wrecks my life sometimes, i am a single mum of 4 children and i know they get fed up with me to with not being to take them out far.... i feel so useless sometimes and i try to talk to friends, but i really dont think they understand as its something you have to experience yourself.... i really want to try and get better, and i take my dog for a quick walk each day but the thought of going to our town where all the shops and hospital is, absolutely terrifies me! i now have a dilemma as my daughter has to go to hospital... i really do not think i can go with her, and now am here feeling useless again! If you are agoraphobic and have panic attacks, could you please share stories with me, like how long you have stayed indoors, have you overcome it and if so how?? i think i just dont want to feel alone and i really do want to get better! many thanks. michelle xx

[Yvonne]

It's not an easy one.

People don't understand these phobias - not even close friends and family, I discovered that a long time ago.

Regarding taking your daughter to hospital - can you get someone to go with you?

Are you on any meds ?

It's one hell ofa struggle and of course you want to get better. Going to town scares me as well.

Take care and see if you can get someone to go with you. xx

[m15helle]

hi, yes i have been on citalopram for a few years now..... its so nice to see you guys respond, just to know you are not alone or not going crazy is a really good thing xxx thankyou

[lorac]

Hi

I know how hard this is to overcome I have had agoraphobia for the past 8 years, even going down the garden used to make me feel ill but I never stopped trying to overcome this and made myself do little and often. I kept trying small steps at a time and setting myself very small realistic goals and built on that until I finally managed to get my life back to almost normality. I still feel a bit rough when I have to tackle things that are out of my routine but shopping has now become possible for me and even going out for meals are manageable. I have to add that I don't go out very far alone yet but I guess that doesn't really matter because I have managed to overcome alot of my fears and I have learnt that you mustn't beat yourself up over the things you can't achieve. Small steps at a time are the way I went about this and I have made great progress, I can even say I enjoy life again now but that is not to say that I don't have bad days but I just accept them and keep trying. Have you got someone who you can go out with just for some support. I think the thing that gave me determination and more understanding of agoraphobia was the Claire Weeks book Self Help for your Nerves, I really worked hard with this book and found that in time I had great results. Tetley is right never feel guilty for the things you can't do but always praise yourself for what you can do.

I wish you luck and assure you you are not going crazy and there are many of us who are or have been through this, keep working at it you will get there.

Carol

[belle]

Michelle...
Think of the positives here, you CAN get out - i can't get out anywhere, not for 10 years.

x

[m15helle]

i am so sorry to hear that, i really do think myself lucky when i look at the bigger picture, i know there are so many people who are way worse than me and i wish i could do something to help too.... i think when you have agoraphobia it seems a whole lot better when you realise you are not alone.... i really do want to befriend people like me as just speaking about your feelings to people who do know and understand is way better then suffering alone!! thankyou guys x x

[sunshine-lady]

Hi

I am also agoraphobic and have been for many years. I was totally house bound for a while. I can go out now with a 'safe' person, but as yet I am unable to go out alone.

Do you get any support from your local mental health team? If not you could talk to your GP to see if he can help you get the support you need. My GP is very understanding and comes out to she me every few months when he is on his visits.

Take care xxx

[Yvonne]

Michelle

Speaking to others who feel like you is a great source of comfort and it's support. You so have to have a couple of friends who know how you feel who you can talk to. Luckily there are loads on here. So just talk, get it all out - cos we understand.

I don't know if I'm agoraphobic or not because the psychiatrist I had just didn't label me really. I don't like labels anyway. Agoraphobia is a very scary word.

I don't mind being out in wide open spaces, I don't mind how far I travel from home (with someone of course) - I don't actually fear having a panic attack when I'm out alone.

What I do feel very very uncomfortable with are things like; sitting in a waiting room, shopping alone, waiting in queues etc etc. I sometimes wonder if mine is social phobia.

You need someone to go places with you to give you some confidence. When you are with someone who you trust you feel better because you will be speaking to them and the mind isn't focused on your own scary thoughts.

Good luck sweetheart and come and talk to us xxx

[Alabasterlyn]

I agree with Yvonne that having a label does not help. Years ago they just used to diagnose you with anxiety disorder and that was that. Now there are a whole load of labels and it makes you wonder who this benefits, perhaps at times the drug companies?

I think it's possible for anyone who has acute anxiety to start being scared they may have a panic attack, or feel very anxious, when they are in a situation where they can't get home quickly, so it can develop into not being able to go out.

In my mind it's no different to if you were physically sick with something like flu or any other ailment that makes you feel crappy. You just want to be home where you are in familiar surroundings and I think that is how so many of us feel when we are anxious.

I've had problems going out for getting on for 40yrs now and I have times when I am much better and can get out a fair bit, however I did have a period of about 7yrs when I could hardly even get out into the garden.

For me one of the hardest things to cope with is the varying nature of this condition. I can do something fine one day, but the next it's impossible to do :ohmy:

[Yvonne]

Lyn

As it happens my therapist told me that the mental health lot are not using labels so much now anyway. Labelling is not good because taking into consideration how the anxious mind works - if you are told you have social anxiety you will worry yourself to death about. It's far better to be told you are suffering anxiety. After all that's what we do suffer with. Whether you suffer anxiety when you are with people or in closed in spaces or open spaces, it all comes down to the same thing which is fear of the sensations.

You are so right as well when you say that if you had flu you wouldn't feel like going out - we feel crap with the symptoms so obviously we don't want to be feeling like that whatever it is we have to do.

Some people go through nervous breakdown and get over it. It can take a year or less - these are the people that get better, get back to work - respond well to medications etc etc. For some of us it's not as simple as that and a phobia develops. I wish I knew the answer.

Regarding handling things very well one day and not the next is common. I can only put that down to the way we are thinking. I do know now that it's an illness which is thought provoked. Let's all stop thinking eh!!!!

I've always wished I could be brainwashed so that I don't have to think about anxiety ever again. I'd like all past memories of it to be blanked out together with all the feelings associated with it. Anyone know a good brainwashing therapist???

Love to allx

[MissChampers]

I haven't got full blown agrophobia as I'm able to go out of the house and get on public transport alone, for me it's crowds I hate and I don't like standing in queues as I get very panicky and feel like I have to get home quickly. Also I don't like walking through town as it makes me feel dizzy. I also avoid the dentist, doctors or anyway where I have to sit face to face with someone.

[nikkinik]

Hi,

I also have agoaphobia. Luckily Im able (well I force myself) to get my son to school, but hes only been going a few terms.. back in Nov I had a terrible time and felt as bad as I did, if not worse, as when I initially started taking him.. feeling dizzy, sick, hot, light headed etc, and I sank into a depression about the same time because of it. I struggle getting to the shop just a few mins away, and even though Id still drive there (Im not up to walking there and back) its still a trauma just thinking about nipping in for a loaf of bread!

I am also putting off an opticians appointment for my son as I need to take it each day as it comes due to the fact I wake up exhausted most days.. when I dont feel ok ish I dont like to be out as I know I will have a big PA. My fiance isnt best pleased Ive been putting it off and I totally appreciate his views and am annoyed at myself anyway. I did have a huge PA in the opticians last year, made a bit of a fool of myself in Boots - having to use the staff loo and leave my son with the optician, it was awful!

So youre not on your own.

I wish I had the answers.

[lainey6513]

:hugs: hi i have had agoraphobia for about 3 years, and it really wrecks my life sometimes, i am a single mum of 4 children and i know they get fed up with me to with not being to take them out far.... i feel so useless sometimes and i try to talk to friends, but i really dont think they understand as its something you have to experience yourself.... i really want to try and get better, and i take my dog for a quick walk each day but the thought of going to our town where all the shops and hospital is, absolutely terrifies me! i now have a dilemma as my daughter has to go to hospital... i really do not think i can go with her, and now am here feeling useless again! If you are agoraphobic and have panic attacks, could you please share stories with me, like how long you have stayed indoors, have you overcome it and if so how?? i think i just dont want to feel alone and i really do want to get better! many thanks. michelle xx
Hi Michelle, I can relate to you totally, as I am agoraphobic, and have been for about 13 years.I'm 43 single live alone, have a dog (my best friend).
\\i would be very happy to talk with you over any thing you would like to talk about.i dont know what to sugguest to help you as I dont know how to help myself!! But hey I'm here talk away.By the way I admire you for coping with 4 children, do you have any help? Best wishes:hugs::yesyes: