SherpaReynolds
22-02-09, 15:46
Greetings one and all, this is my first post on here although i've read through many of the ramblings (positively speaking) and have managed to take a great deal from other peoples accounts and the various other information displayed so a big thankyou to that.
I never thought much about writing my experiences down but figured I may as well as someone may benefit from it...and I could probably still do with a bit of reassurance.
So baisically the situation is this...about two years ago I completely burnt out I worked 12 hour shifts for two weeks in Ladbrooks (yes not the most uplifting of places) although it actually took me an hour to get there and back so I was literally waking up, going to work, coming back and going to bed. The silly thing was I wasn't even sleeping that much as at that time I was getting together with my girlfriend and we'd often spend hours on the phone chatting as she lives 2hours way. Literally after my last shift of the two weeks I got a train to my friends at 10 in the evening as we were heading to the Reading Festival the next day...so up at the crack of dawn and then to the festival, carrying an insane amount of wears. Obviously I got little sleep during the festival and a considerable amount of alcohol was consumed :/
Ok most of that is irrelevant I suppose but I just wanted to fill you in on the background and like I said it's good getting it down...so if you're reading this and haven't Id recommend it.
After this crazy schedule I went straight back to work after only one day of rest. I was finding eating things painful and everytime I swallowed i could feel things going down, like when you're really hungry and you hurridly swallow something too big. Anyhow one of my collegues thought it would be funny to suggest that maybe I was 'having a coronary'...so the next day (with a slight hangover after a night out drinking) I came to work and started feeling faint, and a tingling grew in my arm. Sure enough i lost it for a while and ended up on the floor in the backroom, out of breath, thinking the worst and praying (of sorts) that this wasn't the end of me.
I couldn't go back to work after this and thus ended my employment with ladbrooks, which I actually didn't mind too much besides I was heading back to University in a couple of weeks.
Since that day I have had some really bad times but have slowly but surely got better, having occaisional panic attacks that have seen me unable to go out, hugging toilets, and feeling completely and utterly out of control. There were some really bad times during this period where it often felt hard to deal with but with positive thinking and constant battles with my mind I managed to get by. I literally said to my girlfriend i haven't felt good or normal since before we were getting together, which didn't really go down too well but she is seriously understanding and has helped me considerably over this time...I just have to watch how I explain things.
Anyhow the main point of my post is this. About a week ago things suddenly shifted and I woke up feeling really good for the first time in two years. This actually coinsides with the time I found this site and after a very surprising and draining day of anxiousness. Now this may not sound like a bad thing but the thing was it was almost too much, I mean it didn't feel normal and I was still feeling out of control...but the flip side. Now it's settled down a bit but I've still been worrying slightly that I may suddenly just lose it or my brain will explode, not literally, that would cause a mess. For the most part I feel good, it just feels so strange after all this time to feel this way. I actually didn't even relate it to anxiety and thought it a brand new problem altogether. I was just wondering if anyone else had ever experienced this sudden shift as no-one ever seems to mention it? ...that's my question.
If anyone has any questions about how exactly I was feeling and what steps I took to overcome some of these things then do feel free to get in touch. I appreciate everyone is different but one thing I am sure of is that it is largely up to you to get over these things and as you can see from many of the posts on here that it is indeed possible. Im not saying I'm completely free from it now but I do feel I can deal with it and I think that's the main thing.
Oh and one more thing, I've never actually had counselling during this time but have made plans to see someone soon...just to talk through everything and anything that may still be unresolved. I did however take citalopram for about a year after consulting with my doctor, whom I hassled a bit over the years. Personally for me I didn't like it as it kind of gave me something else to worry about, like others have said I read the side-effects and indeed started exhibiting them...don't do it, theres no point.
Dave
...yes I am no Sherpa...or a Reynolds come to think of it
ps. I appologise for the length, seriously I didn't realise I had so much to say
I never thought much about writing my experiences down but figured I may as well as someone may benefit from it...and I could probably still do with a bit of reassurance.
So baisically the situation is this...about two years ago I completely burnt out I worked 12 hour shifts for two weeks in Ladbrooks (yes not the most uplifting of places) although it actually took me an hour to get there and back so I was literally waking up, going to work, coming back and going to bed. The silly thing was I wasn't even sleeping that much as at that time I was getting together with my girlfriend and we'd often spend hours on the phone chatting as she lives 2hours way. Literally after my last shift of the two weeks I got a train to my friends at 10 in the evening as we were heading to the Reading Festival the next day...so up at the crack of dawn and then to the festival, carrying an insane amount of wears. Obviously I got little sleep during the festival and a considerable amount of alcohol was consumed :/
Ok most of that is irrelevant I suppose but I just wanted to fill you in on the background and like I said it's good getting it down...so if you're reading this and haven't Id recommend it.
After this crazy schedule I went straight back to work after only one day of rest. I was finding eating things painful and everytime I swallowed i could feel things going down, like when you're really hungry and you hurridly swallow something too big. Anyhow one of my collegues thought it would be funny to suggest that maybe I was 'having a coronary'...so the next day (with a slight hangover after a night out drinking) I came to work and started feeling faint, and a tingling grew in my arm. Sure enough i lost it for a while and ended up on the floor in the backroom, out of breath, thinking the worst and praying (of sorts) that this wasn't the end of me.
I couldn't go back to work after this and thus ended my employment with ladbrooks, which I actually didn't mind too much besides I was heading back to University in a couple of weeks.
Since that day I have had some really bad times but have slowly but surely got better, having occaisional panic attacks that have seen me unable to go out, hugging toilets, and feeling completely and utterly out of control. There were some really bad times during this period where it often felt hard to deal with but with positive thinking and constant battles with my mind I managed to get by. I literally said to my girlfriend i haven't felt good or normal since before we were getting together, which didn't really go down too well but she is seriously understanding and has helped me considerably over this time...I just have to watch how I explain things.
Anyhow the main point of my post is this. About a week ago things suddenly shifted and I woke up feeling really good for the first time in two years. This actually coinsides with the time I found this site and after a very surprising and draining day of anxiousness. Now this may not sound like a bad thing but the thing was it was almost too much, I mean it didn't feel normal and I was still feeling out of control...but the flip side. Now it's settled down a bit but I've still been worrying slightly that I may suddenly just lose it or my brain will explode, not literally, that would cause a mess. For the most part I feel good, it just feels so strange after all this time to feel this way. I actually didn't even relate it to anxiety and thought it a brand new problem altogether. I was just wondering if anyone else had ever experienced this sudden shift as no-one ever seems to mention it? ...that's my question.
If anyone has any questions about how exactly I was feeling and what steps I took to overcome some of these things then do feel free to get in touch. I appreciate everyone is different but one thing I am sure of is that it is largely up to you to get over these things and as you can see from many of the posts on here that it is indeed possible. Im not saying I'm completely free from it now but I do feel I can deal with it and I think that's the main thing.
Oh and one more thing, I've never actually had counselling during this time but have made plans to see someone soon...just to talk through everything and anything that may still be unresolved. I did however take citalopram for about a year after consulting with my doctor, whom I hassled a bit over the years. Personally for me I didn't like it as it kind of gave me something else to worry about, like others have said I read the side-effects and indeed started exhibiting them...don't do it, theres no point.
Dave
...yes I am no Sherpa...or a Reynolds come to think of it
ps. I appologise for the length, seriously I didn't realise I had so much to say