What Do I Do??

[bagpuss]

Hi,

Ive been on citalopram since beginning of Jan, upped it to 40mg 2.5 weeks ago. Had started to feel a bit better, although the mornings were a bit odd, felt very desensitized and as if my head is swimming. It does improve as the day goes on and i had been managing to do more and more stuff again. Ive been struggling to sleep of late though and averaging 4 hours a night, normally i sleep ok but since hte drugs it has got muchworse. Today i actually broke down and had to ring my mum to come and get me as i couldnt cope with it anymore and i had been sick due to being so wound up. Im sure a lot of it is down to sleep deprivation and the other part is me not being able to control my thoughts. Do you think the tablets are causing the sleep problems or is it still my own thoughts etc??

Im just not sure how much longer i can go on this way, showing signs of imporvement and then heading straight back down the hole again. I just dont know where to put myself or how to break this cycle. Just the thought of bedtime and the possibility of waking in the early hours again is too much to bear. I only calmed down today after some diazepam and i dont want to start taking it long term. I have young twins and just feel as if im letting them and myself down, not to mention my husband. We all thought i would be much better by now but im still so bad. Im desperate for help, if it wasnt for my children i wouldnt want to stay in this life. Thats how awful it feels.

Bagpuss:weep:

[mick_uk]

Hi Bagpuss,
Firstly, you're not letting anyone down.
No one wants to feel like you do on purpose. You mustn't hit on yourself.
I know what you mean about feeling better then sliding back down again.
The lack of sleep too adds to this and the desensitization.
I'm sure someone on here with a lot more experience in this than me will offer you some helpful advice.
If you and your doc could sort out the sleeping problems, i'm sure that would help towards levelling you out more.
I hope you start to feel better soon

mick

[viciouscircle]

I too am on citalopram but I know what you mean about waking in the middle of the night - it's such a lonely feeling. I'm not sure if the drugs cause the sleeplessness but would we be any better without them??

Stick with it. Each day is a struggle but some days are better than others and as soon as you have a good day, the more positive you start to feel that you can cope.

xxx

[bagpuss]

Thanks for the replies. Today i woke at 2.45 am, i just cant cope with so little sleep. This si making me so much worse, i am coping in the day but only just. Im speaking to the doctor on Wednesday about taking the med at night instead of the morning to see if that helps. Does anyone have any experience of this?
xxx