JESSICA AND HOLLY.

[benoo5]

hello everyone,

first of all,please forgive me for posting this,on the <general anxiety> topic,but i need to get this off my chest,and didnt know where else to post it.

ive spent all evening watching programmes on the bbc,about the events,leading up to the tragic deaths of little jessica,and holly,knowing now,that the monster responsible,had previously assorted young girls.

well,eight years ago,when my eldest daughter was just fourteen,i found out that she had been having sex ,with a man of 36...ime quite a laid back person,not into violence,so i wanted to report him to the police,and let them deal with him...but my daughter threatened to kill herself,if i did,i pleaded with her,to no avail...well,this laid back man,then went into the kitchen,which took me months to build,and within five minutes,completely trashed it.

i then went into my shed,and picked up an iron bar,and went after him,i knew where he would be,and i found him..he saw me coming,and managed to run,and jump over an eight foot fence,which,i couldnt.

months later,i heard he was living in hastings,50 miles away,and guess what,his latest girlfriend was also aged 14.

seeing wot happened to jessica and holly,has brought it all back to me...i should have reported him...he could be another ian huntley in the making...i pray to god hes not....thanks to everyone ,for allowing me to write this all down....bryan.

[Lottie32]

Dear Bryan

Life if full of what if's and if only I had's .....

This is a terrible story, but you really must try not to beat yourself up about it.

You were put in a very difficult position by your daughters threats, and it's not a position anybody would like to be in, or know what to do for the best.

It is very hard sometimes to know what the "right" decision is, let alone to take it.

I was once involved with a guy who's sisters boyfriend grew cannabis in his bedroom. Not a lot, tons of the stuff for a dealer, the kits were delivered late at night, and he had an irrigation and lighting system up there. His daughter by a previous relationship had just started coming over to stop, and I didn't agree with her being in the house with him and his crop (even though the door was locked). I told my boyfriend that I didn't want to go round anymore, which caused arguments, and for several weeks I tried to decided whether to do the "right" thing and inform the police.

Fortunately, the police raided the house, and he was arrested, and all the goods that he had bought with his drugs money were confiscated. So I got off with that one quite easily.

If you are concerned Bryan, you can still report him now. It may be too late to do anything about what he did to your daughter, but it will at least bring him to the attention of the police (if he isn't already), and hopefully he will be included on the sex offenders register.

Please try not to feel guilty Bryan. You were in a very difficult position, stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Charlie

[Laurie28]

Brian,

That is a terrible story but i totally agree with Charlie, we can't live with what if's and hindsights.
You were looking out for your daughter and being in that situation must have been awful

Bringing up kids is very hard and you obviously think the world of all your daughters and have done your very best

Please don't beat yourself up about this Brian. You done nothing wrong

Take Care
Love
lucky

[Jo]

Hello Brian. I think the tragic incident with Jessica and Holly has made us all think 'what if' or 'maybe' - even those, like myself, without children.

I found your own story very moving - you sound like a great Dad. I agree with Lucky and Charlie - you have nothing to feel guilty - you did your best!

Take care

Jo

[benoo5]

thank you all very much,i didnt really expect any replies,i wrote this as a kind of therapy,needed to get it off my chest,sort of thing.

ime a deep person,i suppose,ime a loner,really.ive held this inside for all these years,and this is the first time,ive opened up about it,and yes,i do feel better for it.

it shows just how comfortable,the lovely people on this site have made me feel..thanks again..bryan.

[nomorepanic]

Bryan

I think we all watched the news last night in dis-belief that this sort of thing happens but as you have a real-life story about it then it brings it home doesn't it?

You could report this guy but then you would have to involve your daughter so I would talk to her before you do anything.

You are a great caring dad so maybe you need to concentrate on the future and leave this in the past. If you can't do that then you need to decide what action to take.

I wish you well, you are a lovely person so whatever you do we will support you

Nicola

[Laurie28]

Hiya Brian,

i'm glad you got it 'off your chest' and feel better for it.

That's what we are all here for so don't hesitate if you have soemthing to talk about

Love
lucky

[sadie]

Hi Bryan

Im glad that you feel better now that you have managed to get that off your chest. I think you handled the situation the best you could under the circumstanes, it couldn't have been easy for you.

We all have memories from our past, which are either happy or sad, which seem to affect us throughout our lives. Its only natural that something like the Soham murder can bring back painful memories for you.

We will always be here to listen to you whenever you need it...afterall you are a power of strength to us all throughout our times of stress and worry.

Take care

sadie

[stephen]

bryan.ive got a daughter aged 15 .if any "man" hurt her i dont know how i,d react .my job involves me having to "work" with people who have commited various offences.at times i find it difficult to remain objective.i handle it by reminding myself that i,m a good person .but if i was the who was offended against ,then ,hand on heart,i dont know how i,d react. there are evil people out there. all we can do is try to protect our children the best way we can and thats all you were trying to do . be proud of your self !

[stimpy]

Hi Bryan

As everyone says, life is full of "ifs and buts".
Your Daughter may not want you to report him, but there is nothing stopping you from voicing your worries about him.

If you are worried about his man you can report him anonymously by using Crimestoppers, no one will ever know you made the call. Your calls are not traced and you will never have to give a statement or go to court. It you are really worried about he may be getting up to with another young girl, it might be a good idea to give them a call and make your concerns known.