citalopram for depression and SAD

[anniecat]

Hi all

this is rather an embarrassing post for me: I'm a freelance editor and journalist but I've suffered from severe anxiety (social anxiety to be exact) and depression for years. I've had episodes of depression where I've been hospitalised a few years ago, and although I am so much better than I was (I'd never again attempt suicide!), I'm really slipping back to bad habits: basically, I've been involved in a nasty trial which has taken 2 years to get to court, I made the complaint, (I'll say no more than that) but going through court has been horrendous.. on top of that, my job as editor I have to be very confident and attend lots of conferences ... and I just hate it. I feel so ill all the time, spend so much of the time crying, constant churnings and 'butterflies' and because my job is so stressful (I effectively do three peoples job but thats another story) I never feel I can switch off. I have a very supportive partner who doesn't live with me but lives nearby and very supportive families and friends which helps.. but I'm so unhappy in this situation: I want out of my job because I feel its leading me into another breakdown but I dont have much confidence in myself...
and although the trial is finished, I can't stop crying about it, feel so sad.
I've just been to the gp and he has prescribed me citalopram, I've been on nearly every anti depressant in the last five years or so but the past year I stayed off taking any - which I was really proud of, and now I'm back again.
Just hoping this board will be like a support group so we can help each other. I don't want to be a misery guts...!

Advice? And does my post make any kind of sense?!

Thanks all

Me

[Bob47]

Your post makes perfect sense. I have been down a similar route although not in terms of profession choice but I do empathise.
Firstly I would say that you have to make a choice about your career - if its the root of a major part of your discontent, is it really worth it? There is definitely far more to experience than running with the pack. Secondly Citalopram does work for situations such as yours, but I would warn that its not a quick fix, we are talking weeks to start taking effect and maybe months for full benefits, but there are lots of testimonials on here. They do come with a few side effects in early days but the difference they can make can make them do-able.
I am on week 5 of mine and things are taking shape for me now although not out of the woods by a long shot. I would recommend you give it a go but first you need to consider maybe taking a step away from the source of it

[suzy-sue]

Welcome to our world Anniecat. ! Am sorry you are having such a bad time at the moment..,The stress of the court case must have been horrendous,i can only say that with time you will start to recover...meds are only part of the recovery and hopefully if you can stick with them ,they will give you the stregth and motivation to do the rest yourself.Sometimes , the life we have chosen doesnt always do us any favours ,and we have to reach a compromise or change things drastically, because the price of continuing the same is a price too high.You alone can only decide whats best for you.You will get lots of support here and i hope to get to know you better luv sue:hugs:

[anniecat]

Thank you guys!

Yeah, I know that anti depressants don't make it all go away (I wish they did!) I'm an old anti-depressant veteran, which is why I've fought really hard with myself to resist going back on them. But it's getting to the point where if I didn't do anything, I'd be heading for a breakdown again, and I know the warning signs.

I took one before I went to bed, and slept for an hour and then woke up and then was awake from 4am onwards. That's very unlike me - if I wake in the night I can go back to sleep within minutes. Is it likely Citalopram had any part to play in this? I'm sure it is, because I feel really yuck this morning, flu like and stuff. And I've had these symptoms from other anti-depressants.

Did anyone else experience side effects so soon after taking one pesky little whitey?!

[suzy-sue]

Yes it sounds like the side effects to me .Some people get them straight away but others it takes a few days.THE INSOMMNIA is a bit of a killer! lots of us have had that .Perhaps you could get something from the doc for a few weeks to help you sleep. luv sue:hugs:

[feefield]

Hi, I have taken Citalopram before, and in my experience (everyone different), I felt horrendous for the first couple of weeks, but then felt much better. Its worth sticking with it and giving it a chance to work. Best of luck, I do hope you feel better soon.