gremlin
21-07-05, 10:29
I sure wish I had found this forum a few years ago
I suffered for years from Panic attacks, although at the time I didn't know what they where. I just assumed the worst and with hindsight that probably done nothing apart from increasing the overall feeling of panic and anxiety.
I really was low, things just weren't right and I knew it. The problem was I didn't know what was wrong. I didn't go to the doctor because to be honest I couldn't explain the way I was feeling. Now I have came out on top and am over it. I just hope that what I say here can help others.
The first step on the road to being you is to realise what the problem is.
Simply by being on this website and reading this post means they you know what is wrong. In this case the first step to a solution is knowing the problem.
My story.
I am 30 years old. One day when I was visiting my parents my dad had a heart attack. I immediately told my mother to call 999 and get an ambulance. I had first aid training and started CPR. On that day it was snowing and it took 12 mins for the ambulance to arrive. In this time I had managed to regain a pulse but could not get him to breath. About a minute before the ambulance arrived he arrested again and I could do nothing to help.
When the ambulance arrived I stayed there and watched the entire process.. I wont go into details but you can probably imagine. That one day is what broke my world for the next 4 years. I can honestly say I was devastated at the time but didn't cry. I was there to be strong for others. I moved back in with my mother and took care of her.
Shortly before my father died I lost my job. I was now looking for another job. I had an interview for a new job about 4 weeks after my father died and I did great. Right through the interview I was needle sharp and it just went like a dream. I knew even before I left the interview room that the job was mines. The next day I got a phone call and true enough I was offered the job. I accepted and the following Monday I started on a 10 week training program.
The job was fairly high powered, and the training was intensive. 10 weeks in an office with strangers.
From day one things started to go wrong. I just didn't feel right. The best way to describe it is "I wasn't there" it was almost like being in a trance. Things just felt wrong but I had no idea what was going on. Break times couldn't come fast enough to head out for a breath of fresh air.
I was beginning to think I was ill. Then I would feel ok and forget about it, or put it to the back of my mind. This went on for weeks then got worse. I would go for my lunch and simply not be able to swallow food. I felt as if I just couldn't get the swallow reflex to happen as I pushed food to the back of my mouth. In the space of the next 4 weeks I lost 2 stones. I just couldn't eat. My diet consisted mainly of soup.
Because of My state of mind I was assuming the worse and thinking I had problems with my thought. Then I made a discovery. The problem of swallowing was only really problem when I was with people. When I was on my own I was able to eat almost normally. I still had the occasional day where I simply couldn't eat but I was now feeling a lot more at easy and began to think it wasn't a physical problem. But things got worse.
One night I was sitting at home watching a movie. when I started to have the feeling I had sufferer at work. I was once again in the trance state. I decided to call it a night and headed off to bed. No way I could sleep. I had the worst feeling in my chest you can imagine.. A tight feeling that felt for the world like I would expect a heart attack to feel like. Because of the way I had lost my father it just made it feel even more real. I know that heart attack can be passed down through the family and I was in a high risk band. This contributed to fear, this in turn added to the pain, this a turn added to the fear you know how it works. all the factors just compound each other.
I sat up and though "this is it" I then decided I need to go to hospital. I stil
I suffered for years from Panic attacks, although at the time I didn't know what they where. I just assumed the worst and with hindsight that probably done nothing apart from increasing the overall feeling of panic and anxiety.
I really was low, things just weren't right and I knew it. The problem was I didn't know what was wrong. I didn't go to the doctor because to be honest I couldn't explain the way I was feeling. Now I have came out on top and am over it. I just hope that what I say here can help others.
The first step on the road to being you is to realise what the problem is.
Simply by being on this website and reading this post means they you know what is wrong. In this case the first step to a solution is knowing the problem.
My story.
I am 30 years old. One day when I was visiting my parents my dad had a heart attack. I immediately told my mother to call 999 and get an ambulance. I had first aid training and started CPR. On that day it was snowing and it took 12 mins for the ambulance to arrive. In this time I had managed to regain a pulse but could not get him to breath. About a minute before the ambulance arrived he arrested again and I could do nothing to help.
When the ambulance arrived I stayed there and watched the entire process.. I wont go into details but you can probably imagine. That one day is what broke my world for the next 4 years. I can honestly say I was devastated at the time but didn't cry. I was there to be strong for others. I moved back in with my mother and took care of her.
Shortly before my father died I lost my job. I was now looking for another job. I had an interview for a new job about 4 weeks after my father died and I did great. Right through the interview I was needle sharp and it just went like a dream. I knew even before I left the interview room that the job was mines. The next day I got a phone call and true enough I was offered the job. I accepted and the following Monday I started on a 10 week training program.
The job was fairly high powered, and the training was intensive. 10 weeks in an office with strangers.
From day one things started to go wrong. I just didn't feel right. The best way to describe it is "I wasn't there" it was almost like being in a trance. Things just felt wrong but I had no idea what was going on. Break times couldn't come fast enough to head out for a breath of fresh air.
I was beginning to think I was ill. Then I would feel ok and forget about it, or put it to the back of my mind. This went on for weeks then got worse. I would go for my lunch and simply not be able to swallow food. I felt as if I just couldn't get the swallow reflex to happen as I pushed food to the back of my mouth. In the space of the next 4 weeks I lost 2 stones. I just couldn't eat. My diet consisted mainly of soup.
Because of My state of mind I was assuming the worse and thinking I had problems with my thought. Then I made a discovery. The problem of swallowing was only really problem when I was with people. When I was on my own I was able to eat almost normally. I still had the occasional day where I simply couldn't eat but I was now feeling a lot more at easy and began to think it wasn't a physical problem. But things got worse.
One night I was sitting at home watching a movie. when I started to have the feeling I had sufferer at work. I was once again in the trance state. I decided to call it a night and headed off to bed. No way I could sleep. I had the worst feeling in my chest you can imagine.. A tight feeling that felt for the world like I would expect a heart attack to feel like. Because of the way I had lost my father it just made it feel even more real. I know that heart attack can be passed down through the family and I was in a high risk band. This contributed to fear, this in turn added to the pain, this a turn added to the fear you know how it works. all the factors just compound each other.
I sat up and though "this is it" I then decided I need to go to hospital. I stil