I got on a bus

[reachersgal]

Hello everyone.

I just wanted to share that I got on a bus twice today, into town and home. (I have agoraphobia - particularly bad being a passenger in anyform of transport).

I was shaking like a jelly and pounding heart, but managed to get on. Coming home I almost bolted but knew if I did I'd make the next time so much harder. (and have a long walk home!).

I never thoguht this would be possible. In the end I told myself that in stead of fleeing from the situation I was going to stay and fight the fear and I found that I won today.

I just wanted to say thankyou again for the support I have received here, brilliant tips and knowing that I'm not alone.

[chbun]

I just wanted to say WELL DONE!:D I also suffer from agoraphobia and know how difficult it would be to do this. I've been trying to get myself to go on the metro (underground train) for the past month. I've managed it 5 times - twice had to get off! What is it about public transport that is so difficult!

Charlottex

[tayside lassie]

thats great WELL DONE :yesyes: ... you must feel really proud for yourself :yesyes: ..

i am planning to do a bus journey myself soon for the first time in 4 years ..i do hope i go through with it fingers crossed ...

[karenb]

Hello everyone.

I just wanted to share that I got on a bus twice today, into town and home. (I have agoraphobia - particularly bad being a passenger in anyform of transport).

I was shaking like a jelly and pounding heart, but managed to get on. Coming home I almost bolted but knew if I did I'd make the next time so much harder. (and have a long walk home!).

I never thoguht this would be possible. In the end I told myself that in stead of fleeing from the situation I was going to stay and fight the fear and I found that I won today.

I just wanted to say thankyou again for the support I have received here, brilliant tips and knowing that I'm not alone.

Fantastic!! Good for you and well done!! xx

Karen

[sunshine-lady]

:yesyes: WELL DONE :yesyes:

Bet you are as proud as punch!

Take care xxx

[alisia]

:yesyes: Fantastic!I too am agoraphobic & havent used the bus in years-im sooooo jealous!!WELL DONE!!all the best,alli.

[Anxious_gal]

wohoo well done you! Yes Bus''s are scary! but you stayed and you were ok! I used to be really bad with bus's but I find the more I go the more I realize I am safe, I'm ok, even if I do panic I won't die!
did you go alone? or with someone?
I'm lucky I live right in town so I don't need to take a bus.
aw I hope you are very happy, you should reward yourself too with some nice or pretty!

[eternally optimistic]

Well done.

[mick_uk]

Well done :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo:

[ScardeyCat]

That's fantastic!! Well done you! I also suffer from agoraphobia and am terrified of buses so I know how big of an achievement that is!! xx

[NEROLI]

Congratulations! I don't have agoraphobia but do have panic attacks with social phobia and have not been able to ride the bus for years now The last time I had to get off because I started having depersonalization and it looked like everyone was staring at me, which they might have been due to the way I was acting so nervous. It was a long walk home!! Did you bring a book, maybe you could share some tips?

[i hate panicking]

Well Done:yesyes:

[Bill]

Firstly well done!!!:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:

I also have some thoughts for you.

What is it about public transport that is so difficult!

To understand why, we need to understand the causes. There are two causes I can think of which could possibly combine to create our panic.

If we try to coax an animal such as a horse into a confined space such as a horse box or racing stall, they often resist because they feel fear as they feel threatened. It's a natural instinct. A need to feel "free" so that an animal can escape predators. When an animal feels fear, they panic. Even our dog panics in the car because he hates being in confined spaces. He feels "stressed".

We are also animals but unlike animals we have intelligence so that we can rationalise situations knowing that we are actually safe in confined spaces. However, I think perhaps our animal instinct will come into play and trigger our panics when we experience "outside stress" in our day to day lives.

When we go to our jobs, we are often put under alot of stress. Stress causes us to feel "trapped" so that when we find ourselves in confined spaces, this outside stress will then trigger our animal instinct when we're in confined spaces causing us to panic.

Once we experience a panic attack in a confined space, we then become afraid of going back into that situation for fear of experiencing further panic attacks.

We therefore feel fear at even just the thought of being in a confined space because we keep replaying the "first instance" as it frightened us so much.

This fear then creates stress in itself so that when we attempt to enter a confined space again, our fear will trigger another panic attack even if the original stress that caused our first panic attack no longer exists as we may have given up the stressful job but the fear has been triggered so still exists.

I was going to stay and fight the fear

This is something we Shouldn't do - try to "fight" fear. The reason is that when we try to fight fear, we're trying to resist our anxious feelings which then means we tense up. When we tense up, we feel stressed and Stress is what we need to avoid.

Therefore, the way to overcome fear is to place yourself in a confined space and think as you would if you were sitting in an armchair or in the bath or chilling out on a beach! In other words, let the fear "in" without trying to resist it. Let your body go limp by relaxing all your muscles. Keep breathing deep and long. Don't focus on where you are and your surroundings but instead think of other things.

What I used to do was either read a book or on a bus sit by a window and look at things going on outside. The window is a gateway to freedom so use it to make you feel free to stop you "thinking".

Panics are brought on by our thoughts, even if we're unaware of thinking anything. Often when we're under extreme stress or have experienced our first panic attack, just the sight of a confined space will be enough to trigger the feelings of fear as an automatic response.

The key word is Stress. To avoid creating feelings of stress. For instance, my first panic attacks started when I was under extreme stress at home and at work. I couldn't walk in shops, buses etc without feeling everyone was staring at me. I felt threatened and a need to run but once I eased the stresses in my life I was then better equipped to learn how to remain calm in crowded situations so that now I don't even "think" about panic attacks and because I no longer "think" about them as I'm no longer afraid of them, I no longer suffer from them. I also know now that if in the future I do suffer any more, how I should cope with them and not be afraid of them.

One last tip is building confidence. I used to have a paper bag which I would use when I had a panic attack. I'd place it in a drawer at home. I reminded myself that whenever I started feeling panicky, the bag was readily available and that it would stop my attack. Knowing this then gave me confidence not to be afraid and so because I was no longer afraid, I never actually needed to use the bag and the attacks stopped.:hugs:

[karenb]

Firstly well done!!!:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:

I also have some thoughts for you.

What is it about public transport that is so difficult!

To understand why, we need to understand the causes. There are two causes I can think of which could possibly combine to create our panic.

If we try to coax an animal such as a horse into a confined space such as a horse box or racing stall, they often resist because they feel fear as they feel threatened. It's a natural instinct. A need to feel "free" so that an animal can escape predators. When an animal feels fear, they panic. Even our dog panics in the car because he hates being in confined spaces. He feels "stressed".

We are also animals but unlike animals we have intelligence so that we can rationalise situations knowing that we are actually safe in confined spaces. However, I think perhaps our animal instinct will come into play and trigger our panics when we experience "outside stress" in our day to day lives.

When we go to our jobs, we are often put under alot of stress. Stress causes us to feel "trapped" so that when we find ourselves in confined spaces, this outside stress will then trigger our animal instinct when we're in confined spaces causing us to panic.

Once we experience a panic attack in a confined space, we then become afraid of going back into that situation for fear of experiencing further panic attacks.

We therefore feel fear at even just the thought of being in a confined space because we keep replaying the "first instance" as it frightened us so much.

This fear then creates stress in itself so that when we attempt to enter a confined space again, our fear will trigger another panic attack even if the original stress that caused our first panic attack no longer exists as we may have given up the stressful job but the fear has been triggered so still exists.

I was going to stay and fight the fear

This is something we Shouldn't do - try to "fight" fear. The reason is that when we try to fight fear, we're trying to resist our anxious feelings which then means we tense up. When we tense up, we feel stressed and Stress is what we need to avoid.

Therefore, the way to overcome fear is to place yourself in a confined space and think as you would if you were sitting in an armchair or in the bath or chilling out on a beach! In other words, let the fear "in" without trying to resist it. Let your body go limp by relaxing all your muscles. Keep breathing deep and long. Don't focus on where you are and your surroundings but instead think of other things.

What I used to do was either read a book or on a bus sit by a window and look at things going on outside. The window is a gateway to freedom so use it to make you feel free to stop you "thinking".

Panics are brought on by our thoughts, even if we're unaware of thinking anything. Often when we're under extreme stress or have experienced our first panic attack, just the sight of a confined space will be enough to trigger the feelings of fear as an automatic response.

The key word is Stress. To avoid creating feelings of stress. For instance, my first panic attacks started when I was under extreme stress at home and at work. I couldn't walk in shops, buses etc without feeling everyone was staring at me. I felt threatened and a need to run but once I eased the stresses in my life I was then better equipped to learn how to remain calm in crowded situations so that now I don't even "think" about panic attacks and because I no longer "think" about them as I'm no longer afraid of them, I no longer suffer from them. I also know now that if in the future I do suffer any more, how I should cope with them and not be afraid of them.

One last tip is building confidence. I used to have a paper bag which I would use when I had a panic attack. I'd place it in a drawer at home. I reminded myself that whenever I started feeling panicky, the bag was readily available and that it would stop my attack. Knowing this then gave me confidence not to be afraid and so because I was no longer afraid, I never actually needed to use the bag and the attacks stopped.:hugs:



As usual Bill a fantastic response. I also have the same problems with public transport etc. I will think of your post when I go on a bus and let the fear in!!!! Fingers crossed. Thank you.

Karen XX

[Bill]

Hello Karen:hugs:

Of course it's much easier said than done but with practise it is possible to learn how to make the body remain calm.

Panic attacks often suddenly spring on us and we're not aware why. Always remember your breathing in enclosed situations or wherever panic attacks most often occur because full panic attacks Only occur due to "shallow breathing" which we do without realising as soon as we start feeling anxious. However, what I actually mean is that often we start taking long deep breaths once the panic attack starts to take hold but if we focus on our breathing BEFORE we face a situation where we know beforehand that we will feel anxious, we can actually prevent the attack taking hold so that although we'll still feel anxious, we won't actually suffer the full effects of a panic attack because we keep in control rather than allow panics to control us.

This is where it takes practise. Learning how to breathe correctly Before facing anxious situations.

Often when we're indoors and feel anxious about going out, we'll start feeling anxious simply at the thought of going out so that by the time we step out the door we're already feel a nervous wreck. If though we learn how to breathe correctly and learn how to put it into practise beforehand, we gain confidence and feel less fearful at attempting to go because it can be our weapon that will keep full attacks at bay. Gradually over a period of time, we then forget about panics and that's when they stop. We also then know that if we do start to feel anxious, how to combat them before they take hold. It's Not easy and it Does take Time!

You know when we go out and we suddenly feel we need a loo but there's not one in sight? Well, we start to panic and keep thinking about needing the loo but often anxiety "makes" us feel we need a loo so that if we stopped thinking about needing a loo, often the feeling goes away because we stop panicking. It's the same with actual panics. The more we focus on panics, the more we Will panic just like the more we focus on needing a loo, the more we're likely to wet ourselves!

Correct and preventive breathing is one part but also distraction can also help which is why looking out of the window on a bus can be of benefit as it helps us not to "think" about where we are.

Of course there also are the underlying issues that cause our panics which often aren't actually due to the crowded situation. Mine were caused by too much stress at home and work. Emotional stress can also cause them. Also simply a "bad day" that's caused a panic attack can cause the fear. Sometimes panics occur when we're Not in a crowded situation and this also happens due to the underlying stress. There are often different causes which often we're unaware of so often it takes a little delving but I believe there is Always a cause which creates the stress which will trigger attacks in crowded situations. Finding ways to treat or ease stress in our lives can go a long way to curing us of them. I haven't suffered a full attack for around ten years ever since I made changes to the causes of my stress.

Anyway, Good Luck Karen. I'm SURE you'll get there!:bighug1:

[Wenjoy]

This is all so true Billl. My panic attacks started 28 years ago and though I only have them on public transport and situations I feel trapped in like Restaurants,cafes, theatres etc etc I know the more you think "Ive gotta get out...." the more you panic. If you throw your mind into what you are there for ie eating a lovely meal - no dishes to wash or watching a movie or show - then the panic retreats- not at all easy but we keep trying! wenjoy x

[reachersgal]

Thankyou for your replies and Bill for your very wise words, which have come at just the right time, as I've had a set back - I think things were going just a bit too well. - just going to post that elsewhere.

[Bill]

I've replied on your setback post. Try not to dwell and worry about it. Remind yourself of the good days and accept it was just a bad day. A bridge will always be just a bridge. The fear was created within you by your bad day. It will happen but don't dwell because plenty of good days will follow if you learn to accept and forget.:hugs: