But you don't look sick?

[Lotte]

Something that has continually frustrated me over the years since I developed PTSD and anxiety has been how GP's and 'some' professionals often misjudge people simply by their appearance.

I recently signed up with a GP surgery when I moved here from the Netherlands and my medication was reduced by a GP whom I can only describe as about the worst and most frightening GP I have ever met in 40 years of life. I was left with such a minimal amount of medication that I'm now left with incontinence and all of my previous symptoms, leaving me completely agoraphobic.

I had been fully assessed by a medical team consisting of a psychiatrist, psychiatric doctor and it was clear that anti depresants caused me awful side effects, therefore I was prescribed a benzodiazepine which had helped me greatly. I am not saying that a people suite all medications, instead different medications suit different people.

It was in a conversation with my mum that the practice manager implied that I looked very well, in fact commented on my very tidy appearance and also the fact that I seemed to be quite bright? Hang on a minute here, I thought:shades:
My mum said that they were expecting me to have knotty hair, unwashed and be scruffy. I mean how stupid, if they were to look at my medical files or diagnosis (which this doctor has flatly refused to do) then some of these professionals assume that having anxiety means
1. we cannot wash
2. We look ill
3. We cannot care for ourselves at all

What type of positive encouragement is that?


This logic of thinking seems to be ridiculous and I often wonder if this is the reason for some people not getting the correct treatment.

I did a google on this and came accross a website which made me giggle in the mysery of my agoraphobia. It's called http://butyoudontlooksick.com/

This young woman has experienced this same situation and made a website.
She also sells products, one particular T-shirt she sells has "My disabling chronic illness is more real than your imaginary medical expertise" which made me laugh. I thought about getting this for next visit to the GP who has withdrawn my medication. On second thoughts she seemed to have no sense of humour and was very stone faced, so I thought twice about this idea ;)

I wondered how many people writing on this forum would like to actually be able to contribute to society? I bet it's quite a few, yet how many are getting therapy or the correct therapy or medication I wonder, simply because of how they look or come accross?

I seem to have also been lied too about the particular medication I had withdrawn, being told it was restricted. After speaking to NICE I later found and have in writing that there are no restrictions on this medication?

I have spoken to pals who were full of support and are looking into this situation.

So, to suffer with anxiety here is to live in a box with a nurse popping in and out to help you. Instead of positive encouragement and support to help a person get back to some type of normal life?


I just felt having a little vent about how looks can be deceiving

thanks for reading

[pete69]

hi young lotte,
i have the same issues,as a sufferer of SA i have always tried to hide this from others all be it with meds etc,so when i see my shrink he sends a cc letter to me and my gp..he always puts this fine gentlemen attended alone ,was very tidily turned out,his speech was coherent..etc etc...i dont take it to heart really-he is old school shrink so i guess he has seen a lot in his time but yes i agree with you,they do expect us to be homeless looking who havent washed and just picked ourselves out the gutter 10mins before our appointment.
if i told people of my anxiety n crazy thoughts they would never believe me for a minute..im percieved as the party animal and the joker...little do they know the meds or booze which make me appear this confident being.

you take care now
pete

[Lotte]

thanks for replying pete and being honest :)

[Yvonne]

Lotte

That was such a great post I really found it interesting.

Don't like the sound of your stupid doctor and I would change him/her pronto. Most doctors know an anxiety sufferer when they see one - not from appearance though. The anxiety/depression sufferer's plight would be very apparent to a good gp or psychiatrist or cpn actually. It's our body language, it's how we move our eyes, it's how our non verbals and our verbals are.

How can a doctor flatly refuse to look at your file - at your past history ? I thought they had to. Surely they do to see what meds you have had etc. I find that very strange.

I'm so glad you contacted NICE and also glad you're getting some help through PALS.

That girl's website sounds brilliant. I would love one of those T shirts but actually wouldn't dare wearing it to see my gp or therapist lol. The reason for that is because they are trying their level best to help me. However, I think these T shirts could sell well.

I want to see a T shirt with "Yes I suffer Anxiety and Depression and NO I am not Mad" on it or "I might Look Alright but I feel CRAP".Soo many people seem to think that because you suffer this type of illness that you are not all the ticket.

I have to say that when anxiety is acute - you literally can't look after yourself as you would normally and obviously you wouldn't be spending so much time on your hair or make up or what you wear because actually, you just are not able.

However, if some medic made a comment to me that I looked smart etc I would want to hit the patronising t**t! My answer to that would have been "do you think I'm lying about how I feel then?".

We are just people, why they don't they stop labelling us or having pre-conceptions of what we should look like.What we wear, how our hair looks is US - because we suffer anxiety does not mean that we are different to anyone else. If we want to slop about in jeans or wear a smart suit - what the hell - we are normal people who dress how we want to - don't we???

Some of these medics actually look you up and down if you go in to see them looking exceptionally smart with your hair well groomed etc - I've noticed it myself.

What was the med that you were told was restricted here? I'd love to know.

I actually think your treatment has been appalling and you should complain in a very loud voice.

Take care. Your post was really good.


This post has been automatically edited by the NMP post filter

[Yvonne]

PS.......

Lotte - You don't get nurses popping in and out by the way.... you would have to be literally dying of anxiety before you got a nurse to come to you.

Hey Pete now I know why the shrink has discharged me - it was because I go to see him alone and I go all smartly dressed lol.

Your shrink sounds like a very nice man Pete - has he handed over the creme de la creme of meds yet though??????

[Lotte]

To be honest I didn't bath today or even comb my hair, the best i could do was brush my teeth LOL

I was doing so well until this doc reduced the dose! ridiculous. I'm just back to square one and YES going to change GP's and YES going to put in a formal complaint. Not only she has a BSC hons degree ;) If she was so good at psychiatry then why is she working as a GP???

Anyway, I'm really low over this woman and I know that the docs in NL would be in despair after all the work I put in and they did and did great and she just undone it all, but I totally feel like just giving up due to this awful woman, she has caused me so much grief.

I'm not going to give up , I shall carry on.

[Yvonne]

Lotte

Sorry you feel so low - these doctors can make you feel worse. I have to say though that I think you must have had excellent treatment in NL because this is how the NHS works here - not always of course. You can be lucky, I was with my shrink and with my therapist.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

[kath135]

I have had only 4 sessions of CBT and at the last session it was decided that I only had to attend once every eight weeks.. I think this is because i attend the sessions during my dinner break, wearing my smart work clothes eating a sandwich and rushing from place to place. Each time i've been she has said how together and organised I am and how well i must be feeling to achieve thses things. The reality is very different. On many occassions I have sat in the toilets at work breathing into a paper bag clutching my chest. I've googled my symptoms instead of working, I've offered to make tea when in all onesty i've gone off to check my pules, on our xmas works do my husband had to collect me because I had convinced myself that I was having a heart attack. when the panic strikes I make my excuses to leave and no one ever really notices. i'm very good at controling my fear infront of people but once I have escaped all hell breaks loose. The lady who has the therapy session before me looks so sad and helpless poor thing and I sometimes feel like a fraud when I see her but my symptoms and pain are very real. I hide behind the makeup and clothes.