macca
26-02-09, 22:10
Hi,
My first post here I'll try to be brief:). I got my first panic attack at 13 and have never really felt the same since. I'm in my late 20s now. In the last year or so the anxiety and panic has gotten to a point where I know it's only a matter of time where I end up confined to bed. I battle into work everyday but I have this constant thought in my head now that I could drop dead at any moment or my brain could stop working,I have so many wierd thoughts that are too numerous to mention:weep: I am sick of where I live and would love to emigrate to somewhere in Europe but I would have to do it alone. I still live in my parents house and would love to move out but am petrified of doing so. I have lived in the same house all of my life (except for 4 months in the US on a college visa) and it is my beacon of comfort. I feel condemned to just existing through everyday, I don't know, if this goes on for much longer I might just go anyway. Better to die having lived true to oneself than just merely existing. I have had serious physical illness (heart) and panic/anxiety is far far worse. It's just a seemingly unending battle just to exist. I wish I could just have a normal mind. I have taken SSRIs but they just put a lid on it and a don't trust taking something that acts in a similar (although milder way than ecstasy). Have gone to counselors/hypnotherapist in the past but only lasted a few sessions. Have made an appointment with a Psychotherapist, I have to beat this now for good:)Thank you for anyone that read this!
My first post here I'll try to be brief:). I got my first panic attack at 13 and have never really felt the same since. I'm in my late 20s now. In the last year or so the anxiety and panic has gotten to a point where I know it's only a matter of time where I end up confined to bed. I battle into work everyday but I have this constant thought in my head now that I could drop dead at any moment or my brain could stop working,I have so many wierd thoughts that are too numerous to mention:weep: I am sick of where I live and would love to emigrate to somewhere in Europe but I would have to do it alone. I still live in my parents house and would love to move out but am petrified of doing so. I have lived in the same house all of my life (except for 4 months in the US on a college visa) and it is my beacon of comfort. I feel condemned to just existing through everyday, I don't know, if this goes on for much longer I might just go anyway. Better to die having lived true to oneself than just merely existing. I have had serious physical illness (heart) and panic/anxiety is far far worse. It's just a seemingly unending battle just to exist. I wish I could just have a normal mind. I have taken SSRIs but they just put a lid on it and a don't trust taking something that acts in a similar (although milder way than ecstasy). Have gone to counselors/hypnotherapist in the past but only lasted a few sessions. Have made an appointment with a Psychotherapist, I have to beat this now for good:)Thank you for anyone that read this!