WHAT SORT OF ANXIETY IS THIS PLEASE its making me ill

[sandysan]

hi can someone help please if they can, i have been freindly with a girl for 17 years, my kids and hers has been freinds since very infants skool , there was an argument with the kids and i phoned her mom to see what was going on , and her son gave me a lot of abuse he told me to F off im scumm and not call again , he also confronted my husband and told him the same he is 20 years old her son is.......it has made me really feel ill, i dont want to get out of bed or wake up or even do nothing , it goes round and round my head i feel everyone is against me ,,,,,,,,what is this what am i frightened of I DONT KNOW AND ITS ANNOYING ,I DONT KNOW WHAT IM SCARED OF please help someone thanks
sandy.............i am new to the forum today

[valleybear]

I am so sorry that this badly behaved and confrontational lad has upset you so much. Your feelings are very natural given the circumstances...this family were considered as friends and you feel that you have been let down badly. The sentiments of this boy may not be the sentiments of the mother and whatever the situation...there is absolutely no blame attached to you. It is common to feel depressed and anxious and the fear is of a situation over which you feel you have no control. Hope you get things sorted out soon.XXXXXSending hugs XXXXX

[Yvonne]

Hi. Have you felt like this before or is it only since this person has been abusive to you. If you haven't been like it before I would say it's just upset you a lot and you are suffering badly about it.

I actually think what you are feeling is kind of normal especially as you've been friends with the family for years. What does your hubby say and how is he dealing with it.

If those people want to treat you like that then they are not worth knowing. You take care.

[sandysan]

thanks for your replies.
i only get like this when something happens which is so annoying, i dont know if its confrontation anxiety, the boys mother suffers anxiety i thought she would of phoned me to say sorry or something, my son would never ever talk to his mom like that. also my husband went round and he told my husband the same thing to F.off. and his dad neve said a word. i went out today shopping i didnt want to go but i did. and i had a panick attack in my car i felt overwhelming terror was going to happen. also i suffer pmt and the day her lad said that to me i came on my period so that dont help. im just want to sleep im still worrying over it. maybe his mom hasnt phoned me as she dont want the confrontation.........but inside i am very angry at me being like this letting things worry me and it wont go away

sandy xx

[Oceanblue]

Oh that's upsetting, don't feel angry at yourself for feeling the way you do, I think most people will feel just the same.
How the boy behaved is terrible, he's obviously extremely angry (for whatever reason), but there was still no need for him to have spoken to you the way he did, that's just horrible for anyone to hear.
Have you tried speaking to your children to ask what the argument was about ? Having known the other mum for such a long time too, I would have thought she'd have called you to talk about all this. It seems very unfair and cruel to treat you this way, having no idea the reason (that will cause anybody who cared distress).
Is it possible for you to maybe sent her a small letter explaining your confusion ? At least then the balls in her court to contact you to resolve the issues.
I hope things can be sorted soon.
Wishing you well xxx

[Kaz31]

Hi, I can't help but feel the only person who can be labelled as 'Scum' is the 20yr old lout who is seriously lacking in manner's. I can only imagine how you are feeling but think of this in another angle at least you don't have to live with this yob who shows neither respect or regard for other people. His Mum probably has her hands filled with him and his attitude so perhaps she is feeling its best not to cause anymore friction, as it all so easily reflect back to her. If I were you Id take the stance that people like him are not worth squat or the time of day...Neither would I let someone as ill mannered as this yob control my everyday life. Hard I know but be the bigger person brush it off and get your life back together and forget about him as he's not worth the time of day.

I wish you well..

Kaz

[Yvonne]

Why don't you take the bull by the horns and phone your friend "the mother". I would, she has been your friend for years and I would have to get it all out in the open. Tell her how it's making you feel etc etc.

It's the anger and the upset you are feeling that is causing the panics. Take care.

[reallyfedup]

do you still want this friendship after what has gone on?
If yes then phone, call round or write to her.
If no, then try to draw a
line under it and move on. You may never know or understand why they behaved in such a way because its alien to you. Accept it.....some
people in life will always let you down and it hurts - lick your wounds and try to get on with giving attention to the people who genuinely matter and care about you x

[sandysan]

thankyou all so very much for your kind help.....i cannot phone my freind as the son told me not to phone again, and i know it sounds so so silly whats happened, i used to be a strong person,i lost my dad last january and other upsets, i cant phone her incase she may put the phone down on me. im sure if she wanted to sort things out she would phone me.
i am trying so so hard to do my dayley chores but at the same time im still thinking and going over whats happened. i know i cant do nothing about it now whats done is done .i just hope in time this fear will go

sandy xxxxxxxxx