death of loved ones

[bluegirl09]

Is it me or is anyone afraid of their loved ones dying it seems we cannot at the moment escapr from it my friends mum passed away last week the funeral was today out gardener passed away before xmas and now wendy richards and of course jade is all over the news i find it all so distressing -not for myself im not afraid of dying im afraid of the pain and loss of losing my loved ones i fear my already fragile heart may break though its inevitable i hope im brave enough too cope.

[belle]

I'm terrified.

[PUGLETMUM]

:hugs: yes it is something that plays on my mind more than i would like it too. my mum died 16 years ago and it changed my life completely - i had had anxiety twice before she died and of course she was there for me - but then when she got sick i was there for her and i cared for her for 2 years until she died. when this happened i felt that part of me died, and despite having my daughter and husband and 2 gorgeous nieces who care for me i just have never felt the love i had from my mum, and it is something i have struggled to come to terms with. i feel very strongly that you would cope with the death of a loved one - we always do - we have to carry on. but my advice would be to actually use your fear of this happening (because as i found out it does!) to spur you on to get better so you are more independant and so more able to deal with how you feel after they have gone. if you turn to someone every day to be a shoulder to cry on then it stands to reason that when they are gone you will be lost - and it isnt always possible to replace that person - infact ive found its virtually impossible - i can see mine and my daughters relationship starting to resemble mine and my mums closeness but ofcourse im the adult and so im the one who loves her more than she loves me and thats what i lost when my mum died. however i feel strongly also that if you have this sort of love with a parent you have done better than alot of ppl - so id rather have had the love of my mum for 20 years than to never have had it at all:hugs:

[snowdrop]

Definetely, every day!

My mum has battled breast cancer twice and thankfully she is still with us but she had a double mastectomy and now her chest is causing her so much pain, i feel helpless.

I Fear losing her every day, cancer seems to be in the news so much at the moment and it scares the life out of me.

i have no idea how i would cope without her and pray always she will be with us for some time yet, she has been extremely brave andd i adore her for that.

Losing loved ones is my biggest fear so i know how you feel

x

[sunshine-lady]

This is something that has effected me a lot, even more so since the loss of my Dad in June 07. I worry constantly about my Hubby, Son etc.

[Chelle1]

Yes i sooo think about how long my loved ones have left and find myself thinking about death of loved ones and how i would cope, and also about the death of myself and how my children would cope. It makes me appreciate people more than a lot of others seem to appreciate people. I drive myself crazy thinking i should make the most of my life and time with my loved ones yet avoid doing lots of things due to panic, i find going to the park with my children terrifying because of panic disorder and so avoid it, when really i should be enjoying time with them, it makes me cry that i find it impossible to do lots of things "normal" families do. It really gets me down but i just dont seem to be able to overcome the painc for anything even my children and that makes me feel ashamed. Hope you all understand - most people dont!

:hugs: Chelle xx

[PUGLETMUM]

:hugs: dear chelle, i just had to write directly to you - you acknowledge that you care more about ppl than others you know - to my mind that is a bonus of suffering like this - however you on the other hand (weve all dont it) beat yourself up about what you are not giving your children:weep: you will get better form the agoraphobia if you stop putting pressure on yourself and stop comparing yourself to others. i only started to make progress once i stopped this negative thinking. unfortunately you are sufferign from this mental 'habit' - it isnt an illness as such - its a condition and our brains can be re-trained to once again think positively even in times of intense stress - you dont take any pleasure in beign disabled by your problem - you want more than anything to be free of it? but you dont get freedom from it by comparing, critisizing and belittling yourself. this is one of the hardest battles you will fight in your life - because you are alone - if you were physically unwell you would get more support (although i wouldnt count on it myself - i know alot of selfish ppl - not one of them has suffered what we go though, so therefore they have very little compassion or empathy - their loss!!!)

please work on supporting yourself through this like you would a friend - you wouldnt verbally beat a friend up if they were having difficultied so you have to treat yourself liek you are your own best friend. your kids love you and you love your kids, and life is hard feeling like this, so give yourself a break and things will improve - then you wont feel so burdened with fear about how you will cope in the event of a loss of a loved one - i would suggest to anyone feeling liek this that they read 'feel the fear and do it anyway' by susan jeffers - you can get it from the nomorepanic amazon link:hugs: :yesyes:

[Oceanblue]

Having lost quite afew close people, friends and family, this is my worst fear left that I need to try and tackle within my anxiety. It's accidents i'm afraid of.