Hi

[chaoticM]

Hi there.

I'm male, in my mid-twenties, unemployed and living with my parents.

Quite a catch, you'll agree. :)

I also suffer from anxiety. Even the thought of going out and meeting up with friends is enough to make me anxious -- I start running through all the things that could go wrong in my head, and going to a location I've never been to before or meeting new people can make me feel nauseous.

In extreme circumstances my legs turn to jelly and my hands shake. And by "extreme" I mean having to sign for something, having my picture taken or getting a haircut. Whenever I feel like people are focusing on me, my legs start to tremble -- making me feel incredibly self-conscious and causing the shaking to get worse. Drinking or getting a spoon to my mouth when people are watching me can be almost impossible sometimes, as my hand shakes so violently!

I've always been shy. But it's only been in my twenties that it's got to the point where it's holding me back. I have a fairly decent degree, and after finishing uni I worked for a year and then travelled around Europe - on my own - for about four months. Then I came back... and did nothing. I've got money from (unofficially) helping my dad with his job (he worked from home). But now that's stopped and I'm just living on my savings. The thought of having to go out and get a job makes me feel sick. (Not the working part -- just the thought of having to deal with all the people and explain to them what I've been doing for the past few years.)

I've even spent about five minutes sitting here and wondering if I should submit this post!

Most of the people my age that I know have jobs, places of their own and are in relationships. If it wasn't for the weekly pub quizzes I go to, I'd be a hermit!

I've decided to try joining these forums as I've found in the past that learning as much as I can about a situation helps me deal with it. Hopefully, reading about -- and ideally helping with -- other peoples' issues will allow me to get a grip on my own.

[belle]

Hi and welcome :)

x

[lorac]

Hi

Welcome to the site I think you will find some good advice on here and get support from lots of people who understand what you are going through.

Take care

Carol

[Lynnann]

Hi

:welcome: to NMP you will find this site a great source of advice and support and make some good friends along your journey to recovery.


Lynnann:flowers:

[Veronica H]

:welcome: Glad you have found us. this is a firendly and supportive place.


Veronica

[chaoticM]

Thanks everyone.

[sunshine-lady]

Hi and welcome to NMP

So pleased that you have found us. I am sure you will like it here as there is so much help, information and support. There is a chat room which is a great place to make new friends

Take care xxx

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/images/misc/progress.gif

[weeble40]

Hi and a big welcome to NMP its great to have you here, hope to see you in chat sometime,

Take care

Emma xxx

[Patty]

Hi ChaoticM, :)

:welcome: to NMP. It's great that you've joined. There is so much information & help here.

Best wishes :D

[kittykat]

Hi Chaotic,

:welcome: to the site, a lot of good advice and support here that really will help you to cope a little bit better, take care xx

[PoppyC]

Hello Chaotic M
I am new to the site too. I fully understand how you feel as I am sure most of the others on the site will too. I have had anxiety since I was 17 and I am now 43. I feel there is a lot more help these days than back years ago. I had a breakdown last year after all the years of stressing. I have never tried medication but last week for the first time I decided to and for the first time in ages I am beginning to feel a lot better. Have you visited your gp? had any CBT? I have had CBT and can highly recommend it. It sounds to me like you have social anxiety and I suffer from this. I can fully understand how the thought of being around others in a workplace makes you feel terrible. I am like that. I have had to give up jobs and have missed out on so many opportunities in life cos of anxiety. Not working also makes it worse cos you get too much time to focus on yourself. Working gives you a sense of purpose and if we dont have that it affects our self esteem - it knocks anyone regardless of whether they suffer with anxiety or not. You have done really well so far in life and you can do it all again, you are young and have a lot going for you, but please go to your gp and explain how you feel. Nothing will change if you dont get the help. Take it from me cos from 17 to 43 I did not accept any help and I really wish looking back that I had sought it cos my life could have been so different. I have a son of 21 who is at uni and he leads life to the full and I look at him and think that could have been me...so please for yourself and your future, go to your gp, explain how you feel and he will be able to help. Ask about CBT as it is really good. I have started taking meds and combine this with therapy, good anti anxiety diet, healthy lifestyle, exercise and self help and I feel like I am starting to live all over again. I suffer with social anxiety and Generalised Anxiety Disorder. Sometimes the thought of talking with a person can make me want to be sick with absolute fear and run off. My face goes bright red, I sweat, I shake, I cant breathe, it is awful, but the medication is helping.There are so many people suffering with this anxiety, you are not alone in this. Have you confided in your parents how you feel? Please keep posting as I am sure you will get a lot of help and support from this site.

[chaoticM]

Thanks again, everyone.

PoppyC,

I've considered medication -- but I want to avoid it if I can. I've had some success in controlling my anxiety through relaxing self-hypnosis tapes and using distracting techniques to try to prevent it taking hold. I want to focus on these at the moment and only seek professional help if things don't improve.

Most of my anxiety comes from feeling self-conscious. My confidence has improved a lot in the past few years, but I've reached a point where it's the thought of being anxious that makes me anxious! I anticipate it happening -- which causes it to do so. If I can just get myself out of this frame of mind I feel like I could make real progress.

For example: I go to a weekly pub quiz with a small group of people I used to work with. When this first started, a few years ago, I did all I could to avoid being the one writing the answers down -- as I knew my hands would shake. When there was no way of avoiding it, I'd make sure I'd had a bit to drink before hand. (Not recommended -- it stopped my hands shaking, but I'd spend ages cringing over my -- very slightly -- drunken behaviour). However, within a month or two of writing them on a semi-regular basis I got to the point where -- without drinking -- I could write the answers without my hands shaking. I've managed to sever the link between the two things in my mind. Now I write the answers down every time. Occasionally, I'll feel myself tensing up as my mind starts to remember getting the shakes, but because I've written them enough times without problems, the anxiety never really manages to take hold.

I'm trying the same thing with getting my hair cut. Normally I dread it, as my left leg(!) starts to shake -- which causes me to feel extremely self-conscious, increasing the feelings of panic. However, whenever I go now I make a point of talking to the hairdresser the whole time. I'm not a great conversationalist (it tends to be the same conversation each time -- I start off saying that I've been meaning to get it cut for ages, then how I hate it when it's long...), but it gives me something other than my leg to focus on. I still get the shakes, but I can distract myself enough to keep them under control. I'm hoping that eventually this will eventually allow me to break that link as well.

I know that it will be the same with work. Applying for jobs and starting out will be the worst part. Once I'm settled in and get used to it, I'll be able to get by without too many problems. (I hope!)

It's for this reason that I don't want other people (including my family) to know. If I know that they are anticipating problems, I'll start doing likewise.