Just don't think I can beat this - in a mess

[Smudge]

I have suffered from HA ever since I can remember but managed to kick it for a few years but now I am worse than ever. It's all came flooding back since I developed a rash that I didn't seem to get an explanation from the doctor. I "googled" and have been paying for it ever since. I have convinced myself because of the horrible things I read that I have a terrible disease. I went to the doctor after Xmas, who just checked me over (I think to make me feel better) and said I was healthy and that was that. Of course I didn't believe her. I went to another doctor and asked to have some routine blood tests. The only one that really worried me was the full blood count. When I phoned for the results I was told they were all normal. I guess I should have been happy? For about a day. Now I have convinced myself they have read my results wrong, missed something, etc. Please please can someone tell me that if I did have anything underlying that it would have been picked up in my blood? Also, would I have been called back for even a slight abnormality? I have also convinced myself that the person at the surgery who told me my resutls read them wrong. I am trying to reason with myself but negative thoughts just get in the way. Each and every time I now notice something on my body, a spot, a blemish or get stomach ache, etc. I freak out to the point where I think i'm going to completely lose my mind. I always think these signs must be a new symptom of something I might have wrong with me. I want and need to stop this cycle but can't, I just really feel like I am never going to stop. Please can someone relate/help/reassure - anything?!

[agent orange]

If there was anything amiss in your bloods, then some things would have been picked up and then they would investigate further. If all is normal then you are fine. I am much the same as you with your thoughts and it is very normal with Health Anxiety.

[indigo]

Hi smudge, I have suffered with Ha since forever too!!! Isn't it just awful?!? Is there something in your curent situation that has made your ha worse recently???

I do exactly the same as you, with the whole is that a spot or skin cancer is that tummy ache or bowel cancer etc. It is just our normal coping strategies that everyone has is so heighten that every thing is a threat. "Normal" people would think oh look i have a spot, we would think oh my god is that cancer and then keep checking it for the next week or so until we drive ourselves completely mad and by then it's gone away and the next thing comes along!!!!

Well, i'm gabbling now but my reason for answering is to say you are not alone and you can pm me anytime x x x

[Lola]

Hi Smudge! I know how you feel... suddenly out of the blue having your health anxiety triggered again is awful. I feel that way lately, too. I guess we have to try to identify what triggers it and why. I am sure you are fine health-wise hun. Your tests were fine and you have to trust that. I know it is hard, but we have to try. What was is about those health anxiety free years? Were you busier? Enjoying your job? Whatever it is, try to get back to that mindset. I find the more active I am, the happier I am... the better I feel about myself, the less I worry about my health. You are ok hun... try to believe that and move on with things that make you happy.

PM me anytime.

Hugs,
Lola

[jadeyjade]

come on smudge we can beat it! :)

[lovelife]

I actually find joking about it helps - in an odd way.
I'm sure i have some sort of heart condition, but nothings been picked up over the years and i've been told its just heartburn.
It makes me feel better to do 2 things:
1- tell someone everything. Just someone who you can say 'hey ive got a new spot' 'hey my arm hurts' 'hey heart palpitations this morning'
I just like to make sure someone knows.
2- they say laughter is to cure anxiety - hence things like black humour. I say things like' ahhh my arm hurts- i bet its going to fall off haha'. The thing is- i seriously believe it will - but by treating it like a joke it relaxes me.

It's all very individual though. But i do think letting people know what's wrong can put you at ease. Alot is curable these days too. So if you have someone who knows all your complaints - then they can help the doctors if you ever are rushed in to hospital one day.

=) In the end- if i am ill, i don't want to waste my last moments worrying about it.