Oranges3
02-03-09, 00:10
I have been seeing a counselor for about a month now for my anxiety. My anxiety seems to stem from my relationship of 2 1/2 years. It started out as questioning my relationship with my boyfriend, which is normal. It then turned into a full-blown anxiety fest. I thought about our relationship 24/7. I became so obsessed and so unsure that I broke up up with him because I thought that that must be the answer. But breaking up with him made it worse. So we got back together (taking it slow) and I got off birth control pills because I thought maybe the hormones were throwing me for a loop. I was doing great with the help of my counselor and the evening out of my hormones. I was feeling great about my boyfriend and I, but was wary about only using condoms. So I got back on a lower dose of birth control pills, and a few days later it happened again! I started questioning everything with my boyfriend! I got off of them again and am still having anxiety about our relationship. I know he loves me and is here for me, but I can't help but question my feelings. One moment I know that we're meant to be together and everything will be ok, the next moment I am convinced that I can get by without him. The thought of being without him scares me! Every morning I wake up and realize that if I don't know how I feel about him, we can't be together... then my heart starts to race and I start to sweat, resulting in a panic attack. Now I'm scared to sleep because I don't want to question it. I don't want the panic. It all hurts too much!:weep:
I don't want to question my relationship anymore. I don't know what thoughts are the anxiety and what thoughts are actually my own! Someone reassure me that this will get better -- and that hopefully I will be able to live my life with my boyfriend again. I just miss the old me! :(
I don't want to question my relationship anymore. I don't know what thoughts are the anxiety and what thoughts are actually my own! Someone reassure me that this will get better -- and that hopefully I will be able to live my life with my boyfriend again. I just miss the old me! :(