Jobs and depression

[I_Am_Zuul]

Hi everyone,

I'm sorry if I post this and it's been covered before, but I've tried searching and can't find anything to help me.

I was signed off last week for a week with severe depression and anxiety and prescribed Prozac. I haven't felt any difference yet, but it's too early to tell. I also have constant thoughts of suicide, which have calmed down, but that voice is still there.

I am supposed to go back to work on Thursday, but am terrified and don't want to go at all. I have been having trouble getting to sleep and waking up early as well. While I have been off I've managed to get out and about (shopping and stuff), so I am not holed up all the time.

I am thinking of leaving my job, as it's based in West Sussex and I live in South London. I have an interview with a job agency today and hopefully I can find something in London.

My worry is this: do I tell them I have depression? I am being referred to CBT in the next few weeks and I will have to take time off to attend (I don't know how often it is - does anyone know?), and I don't know how to tell them!!

I'm annoyed at myself because I'm really good at my job (I work as IT Support) and enjoy working with people, but my anxiety and depression is making it worse.

I can't not work as I have to pay rent (£320 a month) and various other bills (about £114.83 a month) and while I am off sick my employer only pays SSP. I have savings, though, so can make payments, but I don't want to use them for that. I live with my parents and they are understanding, but my mum constantly worries about me getting a job, or losing my job. My boyfriend is supportive, but doesn't understand it properly (the thing he worries the most about is the medication!!). So I have conflict with giving up a good job and just temping for a while, doing various office tasks, which I feel would be better for me as I don't know if I can rely on myself taking on a full time job any more...

I just feel really mixed up at the moment and I thought a week's break would help me, and it has, but not enough.

[NoPoet]

Sounds like you don't enjoy your job too much, so changing it will probably help, but if you're feeling suicidal you need to speak to a professional urgently, like a qualified counselor. You should also talk to a friend or your boyfriend.

The main changes need to come from within you: you need to identify exactly what is causing these feelings, otherwise cannot beat the depression -- you can't cure a disease just by treating the symptoms, you need to target the disease itself.

You could tell your employers you're going through a rough patch. Don't let your emotions overwhelm you, keep it brief and free of emotion.

Talking to other people can help take you outside of yourself. You need to put your problems aside for a while and have fun with someone, or even just a quiet chat, anything to shut the depressive part up for a while.

Good luck :)