I don't know

[Jordo]

Does anyone feel like there's no hope of ever getting better? I'm an agoraphobic and i can't leave my small town without one of my 'safe people'. I've had this plummeting anxiety for about 2 years now and as afraid as i am of it getting ANY worse, i feel like giving up. I've tried 2 therapists and have tried medications like Paxil, Zoloft, Ativan, Xanax, and am currently on Wellbutrin. Though, i rarely take it because i have no faith in medication anymore. My father is always asking me if i took my meds, and if i reply 'no' he thinks i want to stay like this. Since, i believe anti-depressents only harness the placebo effect, i really don't want to take them. I've never had any negative side effects with any of them, but more importantly i haven't had any positive effects. I'm 16, trying to finish High School and since i failed a grade last year because of dropping out with daily panic attacks, i just can't get rid of stress. I'm upset and embarrassed about being a grade behind my graduating class, and i'm on track to failing again this year, because i just cannot keep myself motivated with as lame as my life has been lately. I've never had much trouble in school, other than paying attention in class. I had stable grades, usually averaged a B. Now i just feel like a failure, being behind like this. I never see any of my friends anymore, because i just feel like i'll be a nuisance when i'm freaking out all the time. I don't work anymore. I just don't know what to do.

[sMINT]

Hi Jordo,
It must be a lot to deal with at 16. Im only 18 and have suffered with anxiety and panic attacks for a good 4 years now. Its really not nice, especially when your main concerns should be school and enjoying your teenage years, instead anxiety takes over.

Try and look back to when you were achieving these B grades. You did it then, You can do it now. Have faith in yourself :)
Try to focus during exam time and get your studying done, It'll be worth it, trust me. Although dont cram loads in at one go as this puts too much strain on yourself and leaves you feeling less motivated.

I am also like you with the medication. Maybe try visiting your doctor again and asking for some alternative ways of coping with anxiety. Explain to your dad that not everyone copes well on medication and its not a sign that you dont want to get better.

All the best.