Holiday in 10 days what do i do??

[tommy84]

I am due to go on holiday in 10 days, what do i do???
At the moment i don't feel like i can go, i do not know half the people i am going with and do not feel completely comfortable with them.

I am sufferering from health anxiety at the moment and am worried i will get ill when i get there.

Please someone give me some words of wisdom to get me out there!!!!!!!!!!

[Gregor]

Hi Tommy,

I completely understand where you're coming from on this one. Going anywhere away from your comfort zone is always difficult and even worse if you dont feel comfortable with the people around you.

I wouldnt suggest not going. I'm not in favour of avoidance anymore as that only leads to the dark side! well, it's a bad thing anyway.

I take it you do know some of those going, so if it makes you feel more at ease, just surround yourself with those people if possible. Do any or all the people there know of your situation. If you have a close friend or friends, then that will help.

I'm not actually sure what to suggest despite knowing what to do - if that makes any sense. I managed to make it from the UK to Peru with agoraphobia (still there) which is just about the worst trip i could have made, but got through it. I think it's all about incentives. If you want it enough, nothing will stop you. I think at some point you will make that final leap and you will begin to overcome hurdles more easily.

Just think about what a good time you're going to have. Believe that you're going to enjoy yourself. Only think about things which are awaiting you when you get there. Dont think about anything else... drinking, relaxing, sightseeing, whatever the attraction is, just concern yourself with that. Don't even think about anyone else. Other people are just people. They will be there and so will you. You may even meet other people on the trip, just as you would do in every day life. Don't ignore them, but at the same time, don't give them the sole attention in your mind.

I hope things go well for you and come back here to let us know how it went.

Gregor

[tommy84]

Thank you gregor, I reasised tonight how far i have deteriated in the last ouple of months, i went out and felt so bad.

I woke up about an hour ago and started worrying about the holiday and had the first full blown attack i have had in about 3 years.

The holiday is a ski holiday and we have sole occupancy of a chalet so i dont even have my own hotel room to get away from it in.

You are right, my girlfriend knows my situation but cant really understand it, also another girl i am going with suffers from anxiety, she is the only person i can really talk to about it, but her boyfriend is going who i odnt really know well. Last yea the holiday wasn't too bad as i felt completely comfortable with the people i went with.

If i was going on my own i think i could do it easily, but my fear is embarrasing myself in front of people by not feeling well. I have just been searching for travel insurance that will let me cancel if i have anervouse breakdown!!!

[tommy84]

Hello all, I’m back and in one piece.

Here is how it all went.

I begrudgingly booked a ski holiday with 9 other people in January. I suffer from health and social anxiety so knew at the time it would be a challenge.

In February I started getting chest pains (which the doctor diagnosed as GERD); this sent me into a spiral of anxiousness. 2 weeks before departure I started getting very anxious about the holiday, worrying about having attacks in front of people, about having a heart attack or getting to the airport and not being able to get on the plane. This got so bad I was having full blown attacks every evening. I stopped eating properly and lost nearly a stone of weight.

Anyway, things were getting worse as we got closer to d-day (departure day). I didn’t sleep much the night before we left, I spent the evening (and most of the night) downloading films and relaxation tapes to listen to distract myself if I felt bad when I got there. The morning of departure came and I was unbelievably anxious, I felt like I was on the edge of a nervous breakdown, I had my backup plans of telling people I had injured my back so I couldn’t ski, or if things got really bad saying a family member was ill so I had to come home.

We left for the airport, I was shaking the whole way there, at the airport I had 4 hours until my flight, I spent the majority of this time worrying and getting myself worked up. Managed to get on the flight which wasn’t too bad. Once we landed we had a 2hour transfer which is a source of great anxiety for me as I have a fear of vomiting in front of people, this and travel sickness is not a great mix. I survived the transfer and had arrived at the chalet which was the focal point of my anxiety (being trapped in a chalet with 9 people for a week). Everyone (except me and my gf) had arrived 3 hours earlier, I was petrified of walking in, the door opened and we entered.

Everyone was sitting round the table playing drinking games, the chalet host showed us to our room, we put our bags in and went to the communal living area. We greeted everyone and sat down, I was extremely anxious and though I was going to have an attack, slowly this subsided, the chalet host served dinner, I ate my first substantial meal for nearly 2 weeks, that evening we played poker, listened to music and I had a great time.

The rest of the holiday went well, I had an excellent time, though there were a few anxious moments, mainly on ski lifts, but I think everyone would get a bit anxious on a ski lift that stopped 100m above the ground and was swaying in the wind.

A couple of nights we went out to the local bars (something that causes me great anxiety in England) and I really enjoyed it, meeting other people on there holidays and beating Frenchies at table football and pool.

I had a fantastic holiday, the change of surroundings was great for me, I felt much less anxious than I do in England, did things I am scared of in England, strengthened friendships, met many people, had 6 excellent days skiing in beautiful surroundings, and most of all established in my mind that the things you fear doing are never as bad as you think. The thing I regret most of all is ruining the excitement and anticipation of the holiday for my girlfriend who looked after me.

If anyone else is reading this in the same position as I was before my holiday, then please do go on the holiday, I wanted to cancel more than anything before in went, but the holiday was what I needed to prove I can beat this disease that affects our minds.

[Missy69]

Hiya tommy,

Glad to hear you had a good holiday, good for you.

Did you reciever the cd i sent, did you get it in time ?

[finny12000]

tommy well done mate that took a great deal guts and
you managed it ,if you can do that you can do anything now as you have that to barter with when you get anxious about something else as you can think i managed that so i can do this
well done

[tommy84]

Yes i did thank you, i only listened to it on the way to the airport, once i got there i was fine on my own. It was there as a safety blanket though i needed it.

[Missy69]

tommy,

Awww well im glad you recieved it anyway, but really really chuffed for you for having the courage to go and get through it. And as finny says, you tackled that what a great boost for the things you do in the future, well done !!!

[tommy84]

I know, i am going to beat it, i am going to do everything that scares me, no spend my life worrying about things. I am going to make sure i enjoy every second of my life, once i feel i have beaten in i will use what i have learnt to help people get to where i am.

[Pink Panic]

Hi Tommy

I totally loved reading your post.
A massive well done for all that you achieved.

You should be totally proud of yourself. :yesyes:

[Raceworx]

great read :D and having done that you now have a whole host of anti attack amunitoin to use if you ever feel anxious.. it must have felt great :D

[eternally optimistic]

Hi Tommy

Well done on your achievement and glad you enjoyed the holiday.

The holiday thing was something sent me over the top, so will try and remember your story.

Good on yah.