View Full Version : So scared! Help I Can't cope.
Been gradually improving from panic and anxiety over the last few weeks. This week not so good. Mornings not good but yesterday woke up really panicky, calmed a bit in evening. Went to bed and couldn't sleep started panicking (usually I fall asleep easily but wake early with anxiety) . Woke with panic today at 5.30 had to get up. Shaking, sweating, feeling unreal, all the usual symtoms. Took 3 hours to calm down. Wobbly again this afternoon and really bad this evening. Frightened to death to go to bed 'cos I know I will get worse and not sleep. I'm so tired from being up early and panicking all day. Frightened of waking up even if I do sleep 'cos it will be another day to struggle through. Trying to do the accepting thing but it's so hard when you feel this bad. So frightened of being frightened and feeling so bad. Frightened to live like this for ever. Just want to cry.:weep: Help!
WILLIAMthedude
08-03-09, 04:22
waking up all shakey and outta it was normal for me, middle of the night, always woke up during the night with a sense of panic, it was horrible. You must get really frustrated, and if not, you should... I was upset with the disturbances, it was a new experience, it was disturbing, I attributed it to a fatal condition (which was nonesense!). It is just the natural alert way to wake up in if your survival mode is constantly on...
Listen to some music, stop focussing on yourself, stop focussing on the internal... start focussing on the external, watch more T.V. Tell the symptoms to f**k RIGHT Off!
Release the tention with an activity, you are one stressed individual just as I was and still kinda am... You will feel all kindsa aches and pains living like this, which just feeds into the condition.
Keep cool, stop focussing on yourself, be abstract!
Watch more comedy, when your laughing you ain't panicing.
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Thanks for the reply. I did actually sleep!!! Though woke up panicky as usual. I know everything you say is so true. I know what I should do. It's just that knowing it and managing to do it are not quite coming together at the moment. REALLY trying to do the right thing today. Going to make a new start and stick with it. It helps so much to get encouragement from others. Without this site I would be lost.
I KNOW what you mean about the morning thing, Saturday i woke up and had the worst PA ive had in years ( been having them since the 8Os) just could not cope, then guess what 2hours later im ok, it did go. Because ive had this one ive no doubt my mind will now remember this and it will happen most morning s now. Going to work does not help, i used to love my job now as the PA have got worse again i hate it. Thank God for Dr Claire Weekes books they are my bible , along with this forum and No Panic it all helps. Does anyone feel guilty, i do, people think im normal , but because of the feeling i have i feel a freak....am i
Hi Mojo, hope you are feeling a bit better now?
I know exactly how you feel, I go through stages where I just feel so completely rubbish about things because of my anxiety-all of my negative feelings go through my head and then it makes me feel even worse. We have to remember though that we have felt like this before and it usually passes eventually and we will start feeling a bit more postive again.
I am going though a big bad patch at the moment as well and it is ver hard to try and stay postive but we have to because feeling down isnt going to do us any good.
I really hope you start feeling better soon.
Kelly xx
Hi Kelly,
Thanks for your post. It took a few hours but have felt a bit better this afternoon. I can't believe how quickly you can go from feeling "normal" (yes, I do sometimes have nearly a whole day of being okayish!) to feeling absoloute rubbish with only a tiny suggestion of a negative thought or fear. I get a feeling in my head like i'm kind of holding it together but with just a slight push I could lose it completely at any moment. Sounds crazy doesn't it?!!!:blush: And this is when I'm not too bad!! When I'm panicking big time I just can't seem to find a way out of it.
Judy.xx
Mojo, i was coming on here to write a post exactly the same as yours! The lack of sleep really does me in and makes things so much worse. I doubt everything, all techniques to calm me down and am desperate for help from any source at all. Im hoping to sleep better tonight after a better day today as it makes such a difference. I also have trouble believing it is alld own to my thoughts and processes, and if it is i dont know how to make it stop!
Hope you have managed to have a better day and get some sleep tonight,
Bagpuss
xxx
Thanks Bagpuss!
Had decent sleep last night. Woke up and panic started again:wacko: I am finding it so hard to calm down from the awful sensations. Had been a lot better as I said, but back to square one. Takes me 3 or 4 hours to calm myself at all and usually only by coming on here and getting caught up reading everyone elses problems!!! Just keep thinking about whatever I have to do during the day and how on earth I'm going to do it without collapsing in a heap in front of everyone!!! I see that a lot of people only feel bad when they actually go out but I feel like it in the house even if I don't have to go anywhere. My home isn't even a safe place. Do other people feel like this?:shrug:
Yep! My house is my safe haven and yet i panic more here than anywhere. I still prefer being here to elsewhere though. Im coping ok with some mid-level panic but once i get to a full-on attack i have no idea what to do and can only come down from it with diazepam or what feels like pure luck! Maybe the reason you arnt able to relax at home etc is that you do panic there so much about the day's activities etc...i too worry about stuff even when i have a clear couple of days ahead of me. This is the part i really hate and dont know what to do about. I keep being told its my thoughts but how i turn them off and learn to trust myself and capabilities again i have no idea.
Do you have many folks around you who can help you or at least understand it all?
xxx
Hubbie suffered from same condition years ago so he does understand to a certain extent. Trouble is I seem to be on the mend and then it starts again as bad as ever and he seems to lose patience as he thinks I should just go and get meds from doctor. I really don't want to as I tried lowest dose of citalopram and had worse panic attack of my life. I'm really sensitive to pills (maybe that's all in my mind too!!!) and want to cope without them.
I am very close to my sister who will always listen to me going on and on and on....!
You may well be right about the reason I feel anxious in my home. I hadn't thought of that.
I know what you mean about getting your thoughts and attitude to do what you know they should be doing!
We have to believe that one day we will be better. It's the only way I can cope at all.
As always it helps that other people on the forum understand what I am going through.
xxx
I understand about the meds, i tried for a couple of years and am now on Citalopram 40mg and it does help once im up and about and they are in my system. It did take a good 6-8 weeks to get the dosage right and for me to feel ok on them, partly the side-effects can be your own anxiety about taking them. I certainly had a lot of rocky times on them but overall am feeling better than i was and am a bit more rested so hope that long-term they willboost me further.
My counsellor always says that anxiety hits in waves, usually when you are feeling ok. Its almost unexpected, which is why it hits with full force and is so difficult to shift. Its good that your hubby does understand the condition, although we all have different views on the meds. Maybe go the docs again and have a chat, rather than ask for drugs and see what they think?
Keep chatting with your sister, its good to let it all out sometimes!
xxx
Have just had the day from HELL!!:weep: Felt panciky and anxious all day. Really bad. Couldn't calm down at all with any of the usual distractions. Havn't had a day like this for ages. Finally this evening feel a bit calmer. Was almost like I was wired to the national grid!!:ohmy: Can't cope with another day like that.
I am already getting EMDR from my phsychiatric nurse (I live on an island off the west coast of Scotland, we have no actual counselor here!)
Don't know if it's helping. Doesn't look like it, does it?:lac:
As you suggest, I'm going to make appt. to see doc. again, maybe she can help me.
xxx
Tomorrow will be better or it won't. You just have to go with the flow. I had a really bad day on Sunday. I just accepted that there was nothing I could do about it. There's no point in worrying about it - it only makes you feel worse. The next day is usually better (ish?)If not, then the day after that is...
Bagpus is right about anxiety coming in waves but it's that bad one that happens out of nowhere that knocks your confidence for six.
There's tons of support here to help you (and me) through those sneaky bad ones but remember they are usually singular events and don't happen every day.
Hugs
Philip
Thanks for that. I hope you are right and tomorrow will be a bit better. Trouble is it's in your head to worry about tomorrow already when you go to bed and that can lead to another bad day and so on!!!
As I said in an earlier post, I'm finding it hard 'cos I was making quite good progress. Don't understand why it's all gone pear shaped again this last week or so.
I'm so glad of the support on here though. It's my lifeline!!!:yesyes:
xx
Was today any better?
I have had the best day today in ages although I have to arrange my first appointment to see a Clinical Psychologist tomorrow which has started me fretting a bit. I keep telling myself not to keep putting blocks up along the path I'm on unnecessarily but...well, I don't have to say anymore because you know what it's like carrying this damn big interferring rhinocerous everywhere. (Sounds wierd but I visualise my problem as a 20 ton rhino)
Hope this image raises a little smile..:flowers:
Philip
Yes, it did make me laugh!:)
This morning was no better.:weep: However, I decided to go along to my doctors, as I didn't have an appointment I just had to wait (at least you are allowed to do that here) but I sat for 2 hours in the waiting room!!! Not ideal when you're anxious. She was very good and said that she knew I didn't really want long term meds. but she felt it was only a blip I was having and suggested some diazepam to take as and when I need them just to see if I can get a hold on this thing again. She wants to see me next week again and has said that as diazepam are very addictive it is obviously only a very short term answer. Anyway, I said I would try. I was even worried about taking that!!! They are only 2mg. My son suggested taking half a tablet at first if I was that worried! I did that at 6 0' clock and it definately calmed me down, so we shall see what happens next. As I feel so bad in the morning, she suggested I take one as soon as I wake up so that the panic doesn't roll on and become out of control. Feel a bit more positive anyway, and also see my psychiatric nurse tomorrow.
Glad that you have had such a good day.:yesyes:
Well deciding to visit your GP - that's a positive move anyway. Sorry today was not much better for you!
For me today has been very strange and I've felt so irritable and felt like snapping at the least thing. This evening I spent 1 1/2 hours going through my e-mail. Must be the server at that end but it made me so angry.:mad:
Got an appointment with Clinical Psychologist tomorrow (first) and feel quite anxious about it.
Plus tonight is full moon that always affects me oddly (and the Rhino!).
Sending you postive thoughts for a better Friday...
Regards
Philip
kimmrector
16-03-09, 05:54
Hi there. I understand completely what you are going through. I have had panic/anxiety attacks for a little over 7 years now. For awhile I would to notice the panic worse in the mornings then after awhile it would change to evening. I was terrified at what each day would hold for me. I didn't want to feel it, why couldn't anyone understand what I was talking about or at least let me tell them what I was thinking without feeling even crazier after I had done so, and why WHY couldn't I just be NORMAL! I've noticed over the years new symptoms of this just when it seemed I was dealing with some of the fear better I would start noticing a whole new set of things going on with me. I know the lack of sleep and the more worry during the day makes it panic worse. I have found that as soon as I start to think my strange thoughts or start feeling nervous I pick something, anything that will keep my mind busy (if possible) and my body (even if its just pacing the floor) because 1-we know that panic is a sudden burst of fear and symptoms and 2-a adrenaline rush. So I'll clean, walk, play a game, call someone and talk on the phone or pick a song and sing it over and over again in my head until I start to feel it ease. This way you are keeping your mind on something other than panic and another if your using your body your working off some of that built up adrenaline. I am soo sorry you are having a rough time, but you will learn your own ways to improve your situation, and I know it seems like that may never happen..you will find your own way of coping. Good Luck to you!:noangel:
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