Hello there - Advice

[Melodyz]

Hello there.

I imagine most of you have already read threads like mine but please bear with me.
im really looking for some advice on what to do.
I suffer with anxiety , panic attacks and slight OCD
My anxiety has been pretty bad lately and I eventually had to go to the doctor who has prescriped me Citalopram but I have not started them yet - mainly cause im scared of the side effects ( i dont really deal very well with being unwell and will convince myself im close to death :unsure: )

I have actually had Citalopram before in my life ( brand name Cipramil back then ) I had it when I was 13 and again when I was 18.
It was extremly bad when I was 13 and I did not leave the house for 18 months due to pure fear.
I had councelling back then and was slowly weaned of the medication and had several yrs when I was fine.
We are now 12 yrs down the road and in fairness most of my life is ruled by anxiety and panic and i have just about had it.
I however dont feel depressed - just lots of anxiety - unable to travel or go far from home - unable to work - no motivation to do anything.

The doctor has also referred me to a private Psychologist but the NHS will pick up the bill as she felt like my case was to complex for the councelling they could offer me.

Im sure my anxiety all stem from a childhood of abuse , alcoholic mother and things like that.
None of which really ever has been discussed by councelling.
Im extremly insecure still which is also ruling my life as im always petrified of people leaving me.

I know that this is something i really have to deal with soon as im fed up with feeling like im going mad most of the time and I so desperately want to be "normal" and do normal things without freaking out and analyzing everything.

Is the side effects on 10mg of citalopram really bad ?
Is it possible to fight this just with councelling.
People keep telling me I should not take the tabs as Im not depressed.
Its purely anxiety , panic and some slight OCD problems I have.

Thanks ever so much - any advice would be great.

Edited to admit that I sadly also have tendencies to think Im ill - eg cancer and other horrid things
which to be honest is one of the biggest problems as I make myself panic about it constantly.

[Nechtan]

Hi,

Your point at the very end is health anxiety. Don't feel sad about that. You are in the company of alot of people. Most people with anxieties have health anxieties, me included.

I think your questions will get varied replies. Everyone has different opinions on the matter. My own are that a psychologist can be of help but if they are going to start digging up your past to look for a root cause then I don't think that does help. If however they are going to deal with reducing your current high levels of anxiety then that would be really helpful. It all depends on what their plan of action is but you should remember that in this situation you are in control and don't be bullied into doing anything you are not comfortable with. You have the power to say no.

Meds is another point where people's opinions will vary. I've never taken meds and don't plan to. That is a personal choice. I do know people though who have taken meds and its helped them so I don't see a problem with that- why suffer if it can be avoided? Of the people I know it is never the same med and its always taken a bit of trial and error to find one that works for them.

Whatever road you choose I hope you find something that works for you and you find some improvement in your life.

All the best

Nechtan

[Yvonne]

Melody

As Nechtan says there's some health anxiety there. You say you're not depressed but you see lack of motivation etc would come under a professional's diagnosis as depression. Anxiety coupled with the lack of motivation etc is usually described by gp's and psychiatrists as "depressive illness".

I would see the psychologist without hesitation. What are you worried about - she/he will be just like the counsellor so please don't worry about that.

You have a lot of baggage from the past and I sympathise deeply. In my experience of seeing a couple of psychologists - they don't delve into the past if you really don't want to. Normally they assess you and then discuss which type of therapy they would suggest and ask if you agree.

My own opinion (and not to influence you in any way at all) - is that opening up old wounds is not the solution. I just can't see how digging up the past and reliving past stresses can help. However, that's only my view and of course a psychologist, if she did delve into your past would help you with ways of dealing with memories and help with closure.

Regarding the Citalapram, 10mg is a low dosage. You will get side effects for the first couple of weeks and you have to go with that. The med could help you a lot - but this has to be your decision to take medication.

You take great care and I wish you all the best. Please do keep us posted.

[Melodyz]

Thanks guys - I have no worries about seeing the psychologist at all.
Im quite looking forward to that part if I have to be honest as it would be nice to talk it all through with a stranger.
its the medication im worried about taking.

Yes I guess there might be slight depression as I dont have any motivation what so ever.
I dont feel sad/crying and things like that thou.

I have had a look on an OCD website and i fit an alarmingly 75% of the symptoms listed which was a bit of a shock to me to be honest.

I will try to make a decision about the tabs over the next few days.
Its purely the side effects in the first few weeks im worried about ( which is really stupid seeing as I have suffered with the anxiety for 20 yrs or so )

Once again thanks so much - Im really glad I found this forum

[Nechtan]

I can sympathise. I don't take meds. The GP reluctantly gave me Diazapam when I was having a bad time and it was 3 months before I took one. I then had the shakes and all sorts of horrible symptoms. I've never taken anything since and have enough Diazapam to pacify a herd of elephants still sitting in the bathroom.

What I don't know though is whether it was the pill itself that done it or my fear of taking it. I was very apprehensive about taking a pill and then when I took it my anxiety went through the roof in the knowledge that I was past the point of no return.

Ultimately if you are not sure talk it through. It may be a case that to begin with breaking the tablet up may help and taking it in smaller doses until you are comfortable with it. And whatever you do don't read the little leaflet of side effects that come with pills as they only give you the fear.

All the best with your appointment.

Nechtan