I cant handle being in my hosue no more

[sMINT]

Ive just had the biggest outburst of Anger and stress in my whole life.

I cant cope living with my parents.

Im 18 and as much as I love them they are ruining me.

Today I was due to go see some student halls for when I go to Uni next year and as I left with my dad he started screaming at me saying have I brought ID, I told him I wont need it and I had a massive outburst of anger and couldn't breath. We came back to the house and it took me an hour to calm down before we left again. I had a panic attack all the way there then :weep: Turns out when I got there an hour later, Did I need the ID he demanded I go get? No.

I just asked my mum to book an appointment for the doctors for me as I was out as I was told by my doctor last week to come down and see him again. As I came in she was on the phone to them. So she was telling me I cant have an ECG test & a doctors appointment on the same day due to the doctors doing emergency appointments in the afternoon and only ECG in the morning (I was told by my doctor to book both of these on the same day). So I tell my mum to tell the woman I will ring them back later. Would she listen...No! I told her again and again. My mum is the most stuborn woman EVERRRRRRRRR.

She then tells me she is going to go down the doctors surgery to book one there face to face. I told her dont go down. Would she listen. No! Thats when I had the worst outburst of anger ever. I thought my head was going to explode as I had to keep screaming at her telling her not to go down in person. She wouldnt listen and kept sayign she is going down. I told her this is my appointment I will book it myself.

As well as these 2 examples. They both constanlty pick holes in me every single day from the moment I get up and am making brekfast "Dont make a mess" Im being told. throughout the whole day till I go to bed.

I honestly will NEVER get better living in the same house as these. Its killing me. I thought my dad would understand as he suffered depression and lost his previous job from it and my mum used to suffer panic attacks. They dont give a damn though. Always shouting and stressing me out pointlessly

Sorry for the big long rant. I am so angry right now so probably rambling on lol

[lesleya]

Whydont you move out if this is the cause of your panics and anxiety?? I dont understand why your staying and putting yourself through this?
Hope you get sorted
xx

[sMINT]

Moving out aint really an option. Where would I go? Taking into consideration I have no job so wont be able to afford anywhere lol. The only option is stay here really and wait till September when I go to Uni.

Thanks

[tommy1982]

very common with anxiety i use to get terrible out bursts still do

:bighug1:


maybe someone else can offer advice

[Yvonne]

sMINT of course you can't move out you poor little thing (that's me mummy voice). You don't have the financial resources to live alone and you are preparing to go to uni anyway.

You know listening to a young person's point of view of parents is enlightening. You see in one way your parents are trying to protect you and make sure everything is in order for you. For example, dad with the id thing. He probably did stress out himself thinking "hope she doesn't forget anything". His main concern was you.

Trouble is with us parents is that we "stress" about our children. I do eventhough mine are 23 and 20. Would you believe I still go to grab my 20 year old's hand when we are crossing a road. Oh she's goes insane lol.

With your mum - again she is only trying to make sure that the gp appointment and the ECG are made. She is actually trying in her way to take the worry off you.

My girls really get annoyed with me because I stress out so much about them. They tell me how they can look after themselves etc etc. of course they can but it doesn't stop mothers and fathers wanting to make sure they are taking care of themselves properly. Also, I have to say that we parents seem to NEED to take care of our kids even when they are at an age where they can cope on their own. This is our fault of course, but you see we just hate to let go.

The only thing I can suggest is that you really talk to your mum and dad. One may be easier to talk to than the other. If your dad stresses out easily and maybes loses his temper or whatever then try chatting to your mum and tell her that you are feeling stifled.

You don't need hassle indoors at the moment the way you're feeling. You have the stress of uni next year and obviously y our studying is stressful and extremely tiring for you. Try to make your mum understand that you can't take any more.

I think some parents are toohard on their kids. These days it seems that most youngsters want to go to uni, that's fine - both mine have - but the road to uni isn't as easy as people may think it is. You're very stressed out. I was never heavy handed with mine - I'm a typical old softie and let mine walk all over me to a great degree. I didn't keep moaning about tidying their rooms, or them leaving cups and glasses everywhere lol - no because I realised that my nagging was going to harm their studying.

Just have a word with your mum and dad and try to make them understand exactly how you feel. Also speak to close friends and I'll bet their parents are the same.

You take care of yourself sweetheart, keep us posted as to how you are getting on.

[finny12000]

reminds me of old story of young man who hated his parents in teens yet
when was in his 20s was amazed at how much they had learned lol
I brought up a niece and nephew and dialogue was key try explaining how you feel to them and tell them you think they dont give a damn and let them explain back why they do ,its a hard age for you and parents can overlook all the stress and pains of being a teen so make them understand
im sure they love you deeply and you them but talk and make them talk

[sMINT]

Thanks Yvonne,
Great response :)
I really see where you are coming from with my parens only wanting the best for me. This is true. I think it is a parents instinct and always will be no matter how old their children get to love and protect them.

I feel a lot calmer today still a bit stressed though from last night. Hopefully it goes away as the day goes on.

And thanks finny12000. Your right with parents often over looking stress. I will try and get them to talk later on. Hopefully for once they will actually listen lol.