So worried about this weekends christening :(

[dave316]

Hi there i hope someone can help me,

I am Dave, 27 from the UK. I have been suffering from panic attacks, agoraphobia, health anx and general anxiety since 2001. I very frequently suffer with anticipatory fear/dread when thinking about an upcoming event in my life which i am concerned about.

My main fear with having a panic attack and being anxious generally is the thought of fainting or making the heart so erratic with panic that it causes cardiac arrest or something like that. If you were to ask me what my ultimate fear is, that is it right there. Its the whole people staring at me thing that i fear too. I freuquently get these type of fears and emotions when i am in a situation that i cannot easily or quickly escape from (job centre reviews, job interviews, supermarket queues etc)

This sunday i am attending a christening for my godson and i am absolutely terrified because there is a one hour mass before the christening. I have been to the church i am going to back in 2006 for another christening and the place was small and packed full of people. This memory of the overcrowdedness is not helping me and is adding more anxiety to me right now as i think about it. I as we speak have a twinge over my left pectoral and am finding it hard to breathe as i contemplate sunday.

Can anyone help me by giving me any advice you possibly can on how to get through the service with as little panic as poss (with ideas etc) and also if there is anything i can do tomorrow to prepare myself for sunday (eat certain foods, avoid certain activities, take part in particular activities to mentally prepare for example). I am scared about feeling faint or having a cardiac problem because i will be panicking because i cannot in my mind escape the situation. (i cant just go outside when i need to because i am a godfather and have responsibilities on sunday)

Need advice and help really badly!!

God Bless You guys and girls

Dave
UK

[Nechtan]

Hi Dave,

I really wish I could offer you some advice but really I cannot. The same thing happened to me. In 2003 my daughter was christened with her cousin and there were nearly 100 people there in the church. I panicked big style but only the fear of making a fool of myself kept me there. When my second daughter was christened in 2006 I had to sit down with my wife and insist on a closed affair. Just us, the priest and the godparents- and my daugher of course. Even that I found hard.

I do know what you are going through but obviously I was able to change things where you cannot. The apprehension for me also was the worst thing. Having been there I really wish I had the answers to give but can only hope someone else can offer advice and just say I really do feel for what you are going through. If I can say anything positive it is that the first time the apprehension was way worse than the event itself and although I did panic I still got through it because I had no other choice. Sometimes in those situations when our back is against the wall we have no other choice but to fight and tap into that inner strength we all have to get through.

I wish you all the best for Sunday and just wish I could offer something to help.

Nechtan

[ElliotUK]

Well mate, try concentrate on the whole thing, panic attacks start getting worse and out of hand when you think ''I'm going to die, I'm going to faint or have a heart attack' I've noticed that. In your case this whole panic about ''overcrowdedness'' and don't want to ruin the christening, fact of the matter is nothing will happen to you, as in it wont physically cause you any harm, it may feel like it but it's not.

I still suffer from panic attacks at least 3 times a week, it's the thoughts (as mentioned before) that spark off the panic, and of coarse panic itself.

Don't worry mate, iv noticed distraction is one of the best techniques to get rid of a panic attack, so your focus is on something else, like in my case distractions works, so that proves there's nothing wrong with my heart,breathing and so on, as if i was distracted and still felt the symptoms really bad the chances would be I could have something wrong, but as I don't I'm fine, and thats the same with everybody else who suffers from Anxiety!

[shortstuff]

I attended a funeral in January with the same concerns. I waited until everyone else had gone in before I went in (walking near groups of people and people walking past me was my biggest issue). I sat near the back so I could go out for some fresh air if I needed to. I only left the church once before the end and that was to avoid people squeezing past me to go to Communion.

Your part at the front will be quite short, and I am sure if you explain to people they will be ok about you nipping out during the parts you aren't needed. You could even have a word with the priest if you want to sit at the front and he will probably show you somewhere you can go to discretely and easily such as the prespatory.

I got an extra surprise that day in how calm I was and that it prompted me to start going back to church again after over 20 years away.

Good luck.

[mandie]

Hi Dave

Last year was my daughters communion and it was at a time when my anxiety was at its worse.

I took my bachs rescue remedy with me and i was so busy concentratin on her that no anxious thoughts came into mind

When everyone came back to house, i was so busy looking after everyone, that the anxiety and panic took a back seat

So for me it was distraction that kept the anxiety from bay.

Its not always that easy i no.

I have a wedding and christening coming up and i no im gonna be panicking about them

Good luck, sorry i cant help, but i no how u are feeling

love mandie x