jonnyboy99
15-03-09, 03:53
Hello there. Jon is my name. I am 28 years old and I am from Canada. I have been dealing with anxiety and panic for about 10 years. My story is pretty long so i will summurize it. I was on medication (80mg of celexa) and Clonazepam (1mg) for the last five years. Life was pretty good. Not too much anxiety and no panic attacks at all. And then last year i decided I did not need to take the pills anymore cause I wanted to lose the weight I had gained over the years of medication. ( 100 pounds) I weaned myself off both of them and was completely off in November of last year. I felt pretty good till just after christmas when i started becoming a hypochondriac again. obsessing a lot about everything. mild anxiety. and then the beginning of feb, i was having terrible headaches, muscle pain in my chest and back area. started googling symptoms for everything. started going the doctor once a week for something different each time. I would spend a week worried i had a blood clot in my leg and then the next week thinking i had a heart condition. finally a doc put me back on celexa about a month ago. I started at 10mg for about 2 weeks. things got worse. I started a new job. moved to a new place and then panic attacks started for the first time in 5 years. at first they were only at night and i was able to get throught the day of work. and then i was getting them in the middle of the night and then all day. i went back to the doc and he upped my dose to 30mg and prescribed me oxazepam. 15mg pills. they dont seem to calm me down very well. i usually take 30mg at once and dont work that well. And then the last week my anxiety has been so bad i didnt work all week. convinced i have a tumor or something bad in my brain. constant left sided pressure headache with frequent one second sharp pains in that same spot. i also have pain and pressure behind the left eye. i think about it all day long. i even have to come home sometimes to google it. i google the same thing over and over getting the same results obviously. i worrie to leave my house thinking i am going to have an aneurism while driving. i am scared to sleep thinking i wont wake up. and then morning comes, i am still alive. but then withing minutes of waking up , i start to think about my head pains and boom, they are still there. panic attack , right when i wake up. day is ruined. think i am dying. i have even been trying to accept death and thought about phoning people i know to say goodbye. I did actually go to the doctor 3 times for this and they just blame it on anxiety. they wont order me a ct scan. they do the whole physical testing with my eyes and reflexes and just tell me to keep taking the celexa and things will get better. I feel they are brushing me off because i have anxiety and they are missing something. it drives me nuts. my whole life revolves around me thinking about my headache. i am always looking in the mirror to see if my pupils are the same size. I am always pushing on my left eye to see if the pain is there. and when i feel like there is no pain i will be relaxed driving, and then boom, a quick second sharp pain on the left side that makes me kind of jump. and then instant panic attack. it sucks. how can someone have a headache in the same spot for over a month? cant be normal. i spent 5 hours googling headache stuff yesterday. crazy or what? some nights i have 5 to 10 baths thinking it will stop a panic attack. it doesnt. i feel just as bad, if not worse as i did before i started my medication 5 years ago. could i have gotten like this just for quitting my medication? will my meds start to work again? its only been a month. and i am on 30mg opposed to the 80 i was on before. whats a good dose of oxazepam to calm me down? could i be experiencing side effects of a drug that i already have taken for five years? i have been a real mess and i am scared. i feel the docs dont take me seriously. all i want is a ct scan. sorry for going on and on. as you can see i have some major anxiety going on. i hope its anxiety. if someone could please help me. nobody understands when i say i cant leave my house or dont anser my phone.