Brand New From Canada Needing Help

[jonnyboy99]

Hello there. Jon is my name. I am 28 years old and I am from Canada. I have been dealing with anxiety and panic for about 10 years. My story is pretty long so i will summurize it. I was on medication (80mg of celexa) and Clonazepam (1mg) for the last five years. Life was pretty good. Not too much anxiety and no panic attacks at all. And then last year i decided I did not need to take the pills anymore cause I wanted to lose the weight I had gained over the years of medication. ( 100 pounds) I weaned myself off both of them and was completely off in November of last year. I felt pretty good till just after christmas when i started becoming a hypochondriac again. obsessing a lot about everything. mild anxiety. and then the beginning of feb, i was having terrible headaches, muscle pain in my chest and back area. started googling symptoms for everything. started going the doctor once a week for something different each time. I would spend a week worried i had a blood clot in my leg and then the next week thinking i had a heart condition. finally a doc put me back on celexa about a month ago. I started at 10mg for about 2 weeks. things got worse. I started a new job. moved to a new place and then panic attacks started for the first time in 5 years. at first they were only at night and i was able to get throught the day of work. and then i was getting them in the middle of the night and then all day. i went back to the doc and he upped my dose to 30mg and prescribed me oxazepam. 15mg pills. they dont seem to calm me down very well. i usually take 30mg at once and dont work that well. And then the last week my anxiety has been so bad i didnt work all week. convinced i have a tumor or something bad in my brain. constant left sided pressure headache with frequent one second sharp pains in that same spot. i also have pain and pressure behind the left eye. i think about it all day long. i even have to come home sometimes to google it. i google the same thing over and over getting the same results obviously. i worrie to leave my house thinking i am going to have an aneurism while driving. i am scared to sleep thinking i wont wake up. and then morning comes, i am still alive. but then withing minutes of waking up , i start to think about my head pains and boom, they are still there. panic attack , right when i wake up. day is ruined. think i am dying. i have even been trying to accept death and thought about phoning people i know to say goodbye. I did actually go to the doctor 3 times for this and they just blame it on anxiety. they wont order me a ct scan. they do the whole physical testing with my eyes and reflexes and just tell me to keep taking the celexa and things will get better. I feel they are brushing me off because i have anxiety and they are missing something. it drives me nuts. my whole life revolves around me thinking about my headache. i am always looking in the mirror to see if my pupils are the same size. I am always pushing on my left eye to see if the pain is there. and when i feel like there is no pain i will be relaxed driving, and then boom, a quick second sharp pain on the left side that makes me kind of jump. and then instant panic attack. it sucks. how can someone have a headache in the same spot for over a month? cant be normal. i spent 5 hours googling headache stuff yesterday. crazy or what? some nights i have 5 to 10 baths thinking it will stop a panic attack. it doesnt. i feel just as bad, if not worse as i did before i started my medication 5 years ago. could i have gotten like this just for quitting my medication? will my meds start to work again? its only been a month. and i am on 30mg opposed to the 80 i was on before. whats a good dose of oxazepam to calm me down? could i be experiencing side effects of a drug that i already have taken for five years? i have been a real mess and i am scared. i feel the docs dont take me seriously. all i want is a ct scan. sorry for going on and on. as you can see i have some major anxiety going on. i hope its anxiety. if someone could please help me. nobody understands when i say i cant leave my house or dont anser my phone.

[snowdrop]

Hi, you have come to a great place for advice and support.

Firstly I wanted to say stop googling, its the worst thing ever and will not give you the answers you need, it will just fuel your anxiety. I was googling all day every day trying to find the answers and wherever I turned I had cancer of some form (I dont) and I was turning myself into a nervous wreck.

The only good thing about googling my symptoms was finding this site, every symptom I had is written on here by others who feel the same. The moment I was able to establish my anxiety and panic attacks was the moment that almost half of my anxiety subsided and now with the help of medication an the forum and chat room I can start getting my life back on track.

I really hope you can get back to how you were and that the constant worrying will subside for you, keep posting on here, we are all in the same boat.

All the best
x

[marius]

Hi, and:welcome:to NMP

If a CT scan is what you need to reassure urself that you don` t have a brain tumor (I seriously doubt you have), do it. But I am affraid that more investigations will come, cuz you are constantly looking for symptoms and you end up with some catastrophic scenario. This is why doctors don`t seem to take you seriously. In fact, why should they, if you already seem to know that you have a terrible condition. Blod clots, heart disease, brain tumor... there are thousand and thousand diseases; are you going to investigate em all? I don`t think so.
Google is a wonderful tool IF used rationally. But if you don`t have enough knowledge about diseases, you will always end up with a terrible disease in your mind. I can`t`t say that it is NEVER possible that we get a serious illness (please, don`t feed ur fear with that). In fact, it is possible. We must accept this as a fact. But ruinning your life searching for signs and symptoms instead of letting doctors do their job, is not going to help.
Stick with what you can do in order to improve your life. Being overweight can put your health in serious geopardy. I wonder why are you waiting for bad things to happen instead of preventing them?
Why not staring a regular physical exercises program (if you have no medical/physycal restriction for that), or some form of meditation to gain control over your mind, or a discipline that involves you both mentally and physically like Pilates or qigong or taijiquan?
Why don`t you spend your time googling for a healthy diet which allows you to lose weight? See, there are a lot of things that you can do. This is a positive attitude. And it helps!
In the meanwhile, do what you think it`s necessary in order to chill out. Do the CT scan if you want. But you need to be aware that you got to stop somewhere. You can`t go on and on with this indefinitely.

You will find a lot of useful information on NMP, and you will see that many other people have the same difficulty in coping with the fear of being seriously ill. Take your time, read what other people have to say on this matter. You are not alone. :):yesyes:
marius

[kittykat]

Hi there Jon and :welcome: to the site, a lot of good advice and support on here that really helps, there is also a good chatroom as well, take care xx

[sunshine-lady]

Hi and welcome to NMP

So pleased that you have found us. I am sure you will like it here as there is so much help, information and support. There is a chat room which is a great place to make new friends

Take care xxx

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[Patty]

Hi Jon, :)

:welcome: to NMP. It's great that you've joined. There is so much information & help here.

Best wishes :)