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trace
31-07-05, 08:25
Hi, I'm Trace from Reading, Berkshire.

I signed up a few days ago, was too scared to post but thought i'd take the plunge!

I've been getting panic attacks since I was at school. I hated the feeling of being trapped in the classroom. One of my biggest fears along with panic attacks is blushing-as if I do I know everyone knows I'm panicing!

Things have been up and down for years, family situations have made things worse. I'm currently in a long-term worryied state, I am a temp worker, I need permanent work but I'm too scared to find a new job as I never believe I'm good enough to do new things and meet new people. I live at home, but my mum is moving away in 2months, therefore I have to move out and find my own place. Im terrified as obviously I don't have much money coming in right now and I'm scared of screwing everything up.

I'm only 21 and I feel like life keeps kicking me up the arse! Everyone around me is having fun and I'm stuck in a rut.

Anyway, thanks anyone for listening, just thought I'd let everyone know a bit about me!

Have a good day x

peterg
31-07-05, 08:56
Sorry everyone and particularly Trace ! I hit the wrong icon...still relatively new myself !

Welcome Trace, you will find lots of friends in this forum. Sharing experience and knowledge has helped me.

I'm not sure there will too many like you and me on the forum at this time on a Sunday....but it will be interesting to see.

I guess the fear , panic attacks and your thoughts are all inter-related and I will leave it to some better informed people to comment on your particular situation.

All the best and remember there are plenty of people on the forum who can share their experiences with you. Have a check through the previous forum subjects and topics and have a play in the forum...it's amazing what you can learn. This will give everyone else a chance to wake up !

Bye for now.......

trace
31-07-05, 09:02
Hi peter, thanks for your reply. I can't believe how early i'm up and online, i've even been for a short run!
I've started to read some of the posts and I'm finding it helpful already. I'm hoping i might eventually meet some people, just have to find some people in my area!
Have a good day

Meg
31-07-05, 09:10
Morning,

**I've been getting panic attacks since I was at school. I hated the feeling of being trapped in the classroom**
That was then - what triggers them now ??

When Mum goes it might be worthwhile considering a flat share so its a bit cheaper plus having company and motivation on tap.

Do you know what sort of career you'd like to build ?

Yes Peter is right. Your throught processes will be perpetuating your feelings of low self esteem which are limiting you ' getting out there ' Some colleges offer self confidence night classes .

First Steps to overcoming Panic and Anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=942)


Lets try to keep our thoughts in perspective (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=283)
Mind Games (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1789)
obsessive thoughts & anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3096)
Still suffering this damn "suggestive" thing.. (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4288)



Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

seh1980
31-07-05, 09:12
Welcome aboard!! :D

"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal

Karen
31-07-05, 09:31
Hi Trace

Welcome to the forum. You will get some good help and support here.

Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

trace
31-07-05, 09:33
Hi, and thank you for the welcome. This is a fab website, I can't believe I've only just found it.

I worry now about not being good enough, being stupid, what people think of me, blushing is my biggest worry because I can't control it, if I could control that, I know all my problems wouldn't be over but it would really help. Overall the main problem is situations where I'm out of control because that makes me panic, and I start to control other parts of my life to compensate.

I'm proud of myself for getting out there and getting a temp job but the next step is harder. The pressure of knowing I desperately need money makes it harder. I will be moving out with my boyfriend but he's finding the situation hard too.

Most of the time I have noone to talk to, my mum doesn't offer support, infact she's a big stress causer, I don't see the rest of my family, and I don't have friends around. I guess this makes the vicious circle even harder.

Thanks again, Trace

zena
31-07-05, 10:02
Hi Trace,

Welcome to the site honey, hope it aids you in your recovery.
It is a good site and you will get loads of good advise from people who know what your going through.
Maybe your Mum doesn't understand whats going on with you, mine didn't for a while but once she did understand she wasn't so bad.
I hope the moving in with your boyfriend goes without a hitch. Look at it as a new chapter in your life...you never know where it may lead.

with good wishes

Zena

Claireabell
31-07-05, 10:30
Hi Trace

Welcome to the site, you will find lots of help and advice here.

We all support one another and you will make a great bunch of friends.

Take Care

Claireabell :)

trace
31-07-05, 11:09
Thanks :)
I can't believe how alone i feel and can't understand why I don't seem to have anyone close to me to talk to. Noone really seems to have time for me.
Do all of you have people to talk to? Have you managed to make friends off the website?

pinkscrumpy
31-07-05, 11:46
Hi Trace

A big warm welcome to you Honey. I'm sure the site will help loads

[^][^][^][^]

MANDIE XX

Karen
31-07-05, 12:01
Hi Trace

It is difficult when you feel alone and isolated. What about your boyfriend? Can you talk to him about how you are feeling?

I too am unable to talk to anyone in my family and find this forum, and another one I am a member of, a great source of support. I have made friends here and you will find that people here are willing to offer help and support.

Do you manage to get out and socialise at all? What do you enjoy doing?


Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

trace
31-07-05, 12:18
Hi Karen, I can talk to my boyfriend to a certain extent, though find it hard because he has everything I could ever want! He has a very positive mindset, a loving supportive family with a million and one friends he can talk to. He listens to me for a little while but gets fed up with it and stops listening.

I recently made a few friends-one off the internet, and two of her friends which was great for a while because I had friends again and it felt great. The arguements with my boyfriend reduced because I had friends to chat to and a social life, so I wasn't jealous every time he went out. However, the two friends moved back to uni so I don't see them, and the original girl probably made my life worse than it was to start with!

I don't really enjoy anything now I've lost my friends. I've spent all weekend alone, except yesterday evening when my boyfriend came over and even that was bad because we were both msierable and tired and barely talked.

Work helps to get me out of the homelife I hate, but then I dread coming home because my mum (she used to be my best friend) has changed and acts as though she doesn't care any more.

I'm glad you have made friends here, I hope to too x

jos
31-07-05, 12:31
Hi trace
I have found that some of my friends have found it very difficult to understand what i have been through and am still going through at times - its scary for them to see me distressed - you need to find someone to talk to who is prepared to listen and not judge - don't expect that all friends and family - a lot can't cope with that- don't judge them or yourself harshly because of it.

everyone here understands and will help but i do suggest that finding someone to help guide you to coping with anxiety and panic can be really good - CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) can be good - check out a book on it or even better see a CBT therapist - it sounds like you the move out from home could be a real positive if scary step - a time to branch out gently and find out the fear was worse that the reality - shared houses can be great - so many of my best friends come from my time in them

cheers jos
ps well done on the run - exercise is a great enegiser and confidence builder

vernon
31-07-05, 12:31
hi trace, welcome to the site, Why not pop into our chat room u can have a chat there too to people with same problems. usualy someone in after 8pm Take care. Vernon

kairen
31-07-05, 12:43
Hi Trace,

sorry to read your so lonely, as Vern said we have a great chat room on an evening its great to come in and chat, you will find so many similar people here,

There have been a few meet ups on this site I went to one a couple of weeks ago and its lovely now to talk to people and be able to picture them, have a look on the meet up section
and see if there is one near you or start a ne wpost saying where you would like to met up

good luck with the house hunting,
remember your not alone there is always some one here to talk to
take care

kairen x

bluesparkle
31-07-05, 13:00
hi
i just wanted to say welcome too...
i also started having panic attacks when i was at school... although i didnt understand what it was...
i found this site great as the more i understand the more i can get to grips with it all...
i know what you are saying about feeling alone... it is hard and people dont really understand unless they have been through it.
you will get loads of advice here and make lots of new friends... i intend to go to my first meet up in september...its a long way from me at alton towers but am looking forward to it...
the chat room is also a great place to be in the evenings people are there from about 8pm ish... its great if you are feeling lonely or just want a natter
rach

sueiamnew
31-07-05, 15:57
Welcome to the site Trace, it is a great place.

trace
31-07-05, 20:57
Thanks to everyone thats said hi and given advice. I really appreciate it! I felt a bit more positive so I've applied for three jobs and emailed another 2 agencies. Fingers crossed! x

darkphantom
31-07-05, 21:04
Hi Trac
Welcome to the site you will find all the support and new friends you need here they are a great bunch and have helped me.
ive got depression, panic attacks and self harm.
you will never be lonely again with this site
i live in hemel hempstead herts.
any time you want to chat feel free to pm me im here most nights
take care
susie

Karen
31-07-05, 22:53
Hi Trace

Well done for applying for those jobs and emailing the agencies. Hope something comes of it for you.

Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

zena
01-08-05, 12:01
Hi Trace,
Hope your day is better than your weekend.
It is hard to keep your mates when they don't understand what it is your going through.
I'm lucky in that respect I have a few good friends.
Well done though for applying for the jobs. Keep us informed on how you get on.

with good wishes

Zena

Robert1988
04-08-05, 06:46
Hey Trace,

Welcome to the site.

Rob

pips
04-08-05, 15:28
Hi Trace,

A BIG warm welcome to the site. I hope it helps you.

Well done on applying for the jobs good luck hun!

Take care,

Love PIP'S

sal
04-08-05, 19:03
Good luck with the jobs and let us know how you get on.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".

trace
06-08-05, 14:07
Hi, I went to the agency yesterday and they are putting me up for 3 jobs! wohoo. I've had a bit of a bad week but i'm determined to have a good weekend. The stress of the job problem and the moving out problem is starting to have a toll on life but I'm glad i'm taking steps to make things better. Applying for those jobs is a start. All I can say is thank god for 'rescue remedy' yesterday! haha

Thanks again to everyone who's said hi and wished me well. I'll tell you more as I hear it. Just got any interviews that come up to worry about now!
x

trace
08-08-05, 19:16
Hi everyone, got an interview on Thursday....I'm so nervous already! x

Meg
08-08-05, 19:18
Hey Trace,

Whats the interview for ?

Good luck - what time - so we can be thinking of you ?

Don't forget your rescue remedy in water and distraction aids in case you're very early.



Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

Karen
08-08-05, 19:23
Good luck for Thursday Trace.


Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

trace
09-08-05, 07:50
Its on Thursday at 10, and its for a junior admin role. Its a career move as I currently work in childcare. I'm going to make sure I don't get my hopes up. I will be taking rescue remedy beforehand! Oh, and also something called triple A, I'm not sure if anyones heard of, my mum's a homoeopath and makes it up for me, its effects are similar to rescue remedy expect its in tablet form.
I hate interviews, especially because I get sweaty-its never nice to shake peoples hands! Its a real giveaway that I'm nervous!
Trace x

Sax
09-08-05, 08:32
Hi Trace and welcome to this great site,

Hope to catch you in 'chat' sometime.

Just wishing you postive thoughts for your interview. Remember it is not just you who gets nervous before an interview. The ppl who interview both expect nerves and awkwardness so do not think you are not performing just becasue you are nervous. I believe ppl often come accross better than they believe in interviews and the addrenaline you get just prior can be a positive thing to maintain our concentration on the here and now and stop your thoughts wandering.

Im sure you will do your best and no one expects anything other than that. Good luck and wishing you calming thoughts.

Again, hi and welcome and hope to catch up soon.

Sax

trace
24-08-05, 19:56
Hi, I got the job (subject to health check and references), I'm really worried about my health form as I was treated for depression 3 years ago and I'm scared it'll affect the job offer as they wont want me. I am really excited though, I'm hoping it all goes well and then I'll be so chuffed.
Thanks for all the support everyone, it helped.

Meg
24-08-05, 19:59
Congratulations .

Thats great news

Hope all goes well


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

Karen
24-08-05, 23:12
Congratulations Trace. Well done.

Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

pinkscrumpy
24-08-05, 23:14
congrats Trace. Well done


MANDIE XX

Will I ever escape this?
Will I ever be free?
Wake me up from this nightmare.
Please just give me the key!

trac67
24-08-05, 23:19
Hi Trace,
Welcome to the site and well done on the job interview.
Take care
Trac
xx

its "just a thought"