jonzzz
15-03-09, 22:28
Hey everyone. I haven't posted on here for a while, I thought I was doing better, but apparently not.
My current situation is that I've had the EKG's, a Holter monitor for 24 hours, stress test, blood tests, chest x-ray, etc. but my physical symptoms are getting worse it seems. I have even more palpitations now. I have shortness of breath and a "lump in my throat" feeling like you can't get that one breath for a bit. My pulse also races when it seems like I walk or go anywhere. I get bubbling in my chest almost like nerves moving, an emptiness feeling, chest pains.
At this point I basically think that I'm dying. I am confined to my bed, basically. I just sit around all day, crying at the drop of a hat, worrying, feeling my pulse, and thinking that everything I do is "the last time I'm going to do it". It's terrible.
I would be willing to believe the tests, and I know a lot of this is obviously contributed to anxiety, I just refuse to believe that it would get to THIS stage. Also, my panic attacks started by smoking marijuana, and I smoked about 2-3 hits (stupid, I know) after my stress test, thinking I could handle it again. So since then I think that smoking that amount again has negated all the results.
I just don't know what to do :( I know a lot of people on here feel symptoms, but it feels like mine are progressing worse, and they are with me ALL DAY LONG, through everything. My psychologist has basically convinced my parents it's not physical, and my parents obviously believe the doctors. We have an appointment scheduled with a cardiologist, but the waiting is killing me, and I feel like I honestly don't have much time left...
I am petrified.
My current situation is that I've had the EKG's, a Holter monitor for 24 hours, stress test, blood tests, chest x-ray, etc. but my physical symptoms are getting worse it seems. I have even more palpitations now. I have shortness of breath and a "lump in my throat" feeling like you can't get that one breath for a bit. My pulse also races when it seems like I walk or go anywhere. I get bubbling in my chest almost like nerves moving, an emptiness feeling, chest pains.
At this point I basically think that I'm dying. I am confined to my bed, basically. I just sit around all day, crying at the drop of a hat, worrying, feeling my pulse, and thinking that everything I do is "the last time I'm going to do it". It's terrible.
I would be willing to believe the tests, and I know a lot of this is obviously contributed to anxiety, I just refuse to believe that it would get to THIS stage. Also, my panic attacks started by smoking marijuana, and I smoked about 2-3 hits (stupid, I know) after my stress test, thinking I could handle it again. So since then I think that smoking that amount again has negated all the results.
I just don't know what to do :( I know a lot of people on here feel symptoms, but it feels like mine are progressing worse, and they are with me ALL DAY LONG, through everything. My psychologist has basically convinced my parents it's not physical, and my parents obviously believe the doctors. We have an appointment scheduled with a cardiologist, but the waiting is killing me, and I feel like I honestly don't have much time left...
I am petrified.