A little advice please....(sorry!)

[SamIam]

hi there, i haven't been on here for a while. last year i my panic attacks came back whilst i was on 10mg of cipralex. my dossage was upped but didn't seem to do anything until i started to regularly practice relaxtion techniques and that phrase known as acceptence. it worked a treat and in january i was feeling so much better that i made the decision to come of my meds. i went to my surgery and my doctor said to start taking one every other day. i did that for two and a half weeks and it was fine. after a while though i started to get niggles, so i used the relaxation techniques i had learnt but they didn't seem to be working. i thought that maybe it was because i was suffering from some kind of withdrawal from the cipralex so i went back to the doctors. i saw a different doctor (unintentionally) and he said that maybe rather than take one every other day that i should just take 10mg daily. so i did this for a week, all the while the anxiety was getting stronger. for the past week i have not been able to calm myself down with any of the relaxation techniques i have learnt. i am now sitting in my bed shaking. I know that sometimes these things take time but i am where i was before i upped my dosage despite the techniques i have learned. interestingly i am not afraid of having a panic attack as i know it will pass, but i am still anxious and shaky, tingly, depressed and downtrodden. i really don't know what to do. i called my doctors yesterday and the advice he gave was to pop some diazepam (which i have in my drawer but haven't used yet). I'm loathed to do that as it is such a short term fix and will only calm me down for a hour or so and then i will be back to where i am now. I don't understand why the relaxtion techniques that worked before aren't working. it makes me wonder if they worked in the first place or whether it was just my upped dosage finally kicking in. so my question is, what to do? should i just sit here and bear it for another week or so hoping that the meds will level out (although it's been like, 8 or 9 days since i've been on the 10mg daily) or should i just go back up to 20mg and start again. you see, going back up to 20mg feels like a defeat. but saying that i cannot function properly at all at the moment and have lost all desire to anything at all. i've listened to about 10 self help audio books and whilst i am listening to all the information, it doesn't seem like they are helping at all. I know if i call my doctors they'll just say take the diazepam and call back later. now is that really advice? i mean, when i apoke to the doctor yesterday he asked me if i wanted to go back to the 20mg dosage. i explained to him that it would feel like a step backwards and i want to move forwards, and all he said was "hmmm, well take a couple of those diazepam and call back later." thing is, if i do call back i just feel he's just going to say up the dosage and take it from there. as you can see i am really bewildered right now and cannot make a desicion. so if anyone is there, your advice would be appreciated. hopefully it won't be "you have to do what you think is right" though as i kind of get that.

i guess what i'm asking is, if you were me, in my situation, what would you do?:unsure::unsure::unsure:

[Mully]

"" i called my doctors yesterday and the advice he gave was to pop some diazepam""

Taking the diaz would calm you. As a help towards withdrawal it may be worth doing. However, I understand your concern still having to take drugs when you want to come off the dam things.

I know exactly where you are coming from. Last year in mid August I halved my 20mg citalopram to 10m, and for 2 months I was ok with occassional blah bits. By mid October I was taking 10mg every other day and all of a sudden I went down like a led balloon!.. I thought I was going mad, crying all the time, feeling shaky and weak, depressed, frustrated, my character changed completely!.. I felt like such a failiure, even when I realised it was the withdrawal from the drug, the fact that I could no longer cope made me feel a lot worse and so I gave in a went back up to 20mg.

Personally I think taking one every other day is not too good. As your body goes without for too long and then gets a dose.. maybe if you take half each day instead.. then after a couple of weeks a quarter etc. so you system is never without. ? That is how I plan to do it next time.

Understanding that it is withdrawal, and knowing that eventually it will get better may give you the strength to continue. Do you have friends/family to support you ? ..

If you really feel you cannot continue, then go back to full dose. You can always try again, and the next time round do it more gradually. Don't feel like a failure, don't beat yourself up about it as it is not your fault. It is the drug... and maybe next time you will be more prepared to face it.

It seems like an ongoing battle, we are always battling with our anxiety/depression then when we feel better, we have to face another battle to get off the dam meds.. pfft..

:hugs: :hugs::hugs: