were do i start ?

[PatPgtips]

i logged onto this site with an invite from a friend

and ive looked over some posts but wasnt sure if i wanted to post myself
my friend has convinced me to give it a try as it may help

my problem is were do i start ?

ive suffered from anxiety and depression for a long time now and at the minute my self esteem is very low i wouldnt say im as depressed as i have been before but i dont think it will take much to put me over the edge

it all started with very serious panic attacks a few years back thinking i was gonna die with the palpitations and the chest pains even at one stage i was told to breath into a paper bag as my attacks got worse
i felt as though i was gonna pass out all the time
as a result i had to stop working as an hgv driver as i was worried i would crash and kill someone

a few years on now i go in and out of depression and still wonder if i will ever be happy

i do not plan for anything now i just take each day as it comes and wait and see what is thrown at me

i found this on the net the other day i thought id post for all the people that do not understand what we go through each day just to survive


When someone in the family is depressed, the whole family is affected. Depression is a silent disease that sucks the energy and joy out of a person's life. If is very difficult for one has not experienced depression to understand its significance. It is important to get the individual into treatment and be sensitive and empathetic during their treatment. Depending of the type and degree of depression the individual may have to live with their illness their entire life. Depression must be accepted as an illness and not a lousy character trait.

sorry i kept things short but as i say its very hard for me to open up even to family and friends as they dont understand
you will all know what i mean with that comment

thanks for listening

[PoppyC]

Hello
Your post was very interesting - I am glad you posted! - and isnt it true how no one except the sufferer and fellow sufferers can ever really truly understand how we feel? no matter how well meaning other people mean to be.
Sometimes, I truly think I am the only person in the world who feels as I do - realistically I know that I am not (just look on this site!) - but sometimes I feel so alone in how I feel. Everyone I see around me seems to be having a great time in life, they seem confident, non anxious, and just get on with life. I sometimes think why me but then I know some people suffer with so much worse things in life other than anxiety and depression, although I know they are devastating things to suffer with too.
I used to think I would never be happy again but although it does take time, you can be happy again. This time last year I was a total mess and going into a nervous breakdown where I became suicidal. I never thought that I would ever feel 'normal' again. I honestly thought life would always be gloomy and either I would end up doing something drastic or would be confined to some ancient pyschiatric hospital out on the moors locked away in some dusty old room, only to be found years later, looking like a mad old crone, by someone.It sounds a bit extreme now but I got a phobia about old pyschiatric hospitals and had a fear of the fear of going mad! One year on and I am massively recovered. I still get my down days but then I get more good days too. I am taking medication now and that helps. Someone at the Samaritans told me last year, never to give up on hope, and at that point I thought, oh what does he know and totally dismissed what he said as trying to make me feel better rubbish, but looking back its true. It is so hard when we are down to feel any hope, but just try and keep a glimmer. I never thought I would get to where I am now today and I am here! Situations can improve and it can take ages sometimes. Depression is not consistent I find. When you have a bad day think oh well I will get a good day sometime. Sorry I am rambling on here...I am glad you posted!

[Vanilla Sky]

Welcome to NMP, you will find a lot of support here, maybe see you in chat its a good place to take your mind of things Love Paige x

[finny12000]

Hi pat
pats my best mate all and i told him about here as hes been going through a hard time and does find it difficult to open up Im amazed he posted, so well done pat, its a start.
I was reunited with pat when he asked if he could come to gym and get his weight down and get himself fit after a few long and tortorous years with anxiety with virtually no help and mates that would say pull yourserlf together(WHO NEEDS MATES LIKE THAT EH)Also adding he went to doctors explained what was wrong with him and how he felt and guess what, doctor had a student in and laughed to which pat left with no faith in anyone.
Anyhow we trained and trained and trained somemore and after 2 years pat had lost 6 stone ,was down below 14 and started working again
Bouts of depression came and went it got particuarly bad last year and pat went back to ask for help was given anti depressants and told there was a long waiting list to see anyone about his depression and still has not to this day.
To cut a long story short hes here for tips,advice chat and i would like to say you have came to right place mate and well done because this is as good as anywhere to start :welcome:

[PatPgtips]

thank you all for the replies

and thanks kev for all the encouragment to do the post