Should I listen?

[ForOurFuture]

Yesterday Woman's Hour did a slot on the symptoms of Ovarian Cancer. I normally like to listen to this programme but avoided doing so yesterday. However I did listen later on the pc to other parts of the programme and just caught the very end of the interview, which mentioned the gut. I am now having an overwhelming need to listen to the programme knowing full well that it will throw me into a desperate health anxiety. I have ongoing health anxiety about my bowels at the moment. I am feeling really anxious and very guilty as it is distracting me so much and I worry that this will affect my 3 year old daughter. I had some CBT and my therapist said I should expose myself but my pamphlet from No Panic said this is not necessarily the best therapy for HA. I am not googling but am fearful that if I don't know the symptoms I may leave something too late to be treated and this throws me into more terror. I hate this thing. It is always the same I get comfortable with one thought about my body and then something else takes over. Any advice would be gratefully received.

[Wee-Mee]

Oh my darling.. I am going through the same thing. I have been having bowel problems and pain during sex and pelvic pain etc so I am worried about all this too. I am very bloated too and I awoke one morning to hear on the news the symptoms of ovarian cancer and freaked.

This with Jade Goody has fuelled all my worries with this. And I am sorry I don't have advice but I have two ears that are willing to listen to you. I too get over something,if you will,then another worry will start.

I'm sorry you are going through this hell. xxxx

[Morchie]

Hi

I heard that it was ovarian cancer awarness week/month and there has been lots of stuff on TV and radio.
I know it is important to know the signs of these things but it does not help the people like us who worry so much about cancer etc.

Morchie

[ForOurFuture]

Thank you Mee-Wee for your kind words. I can't talk to my partner as it upsets him too much and then starts getting him stressed. I am really cross with myself as I 'know' I don't have these things but then start to panic that I 'might'.

I did wonder if it was an awareness campaign Morchie, thanks for confirming that for me. No doubt when I see my counsellor tomorrow she will be prepared for this one, as I obsessed over my boobs when it was breast awareness week.

Thank you both

[Wee-Mee]

Deary me! In my stressed out state I didn't even KNOW it was ovarian cancer campaign week! I suppose that is why it has been about and stuff and why the little teapot keyrings are being sold.

I was in the pharmacy yesterday(as always) and the little ovarian cancer teapot things were there right infront of me and me being all ocd I HAD to buy one cos I thought if I didn't then I DEFINITELY would have cancer. I am so bad. :( I have a breast cancer one on my jacket too and I do tend to like to get the badges and stuff and take clothes down to the cancer research shop near my place cos I really DO hope they find a cure soon.

I don't understand how they can figure out how to send people to the moon yet they can't find a definitive cure for this heartbreaking disesase.

And yes,my partner also,even my parents and friends do not know how to help when I am in this state of mind. And it is hard cos we already feel kind of crazy as it is but it hurts when you get told that you are "making yourself ill" or,"it's your head that needs examined"

My bf last night actually said to me he feels helpless.He doesn't know how to support me. And I don't know how to tell him how to support me! As for the breast awareness week too.. I seen on the news a few days agoabout nightshifts being linked to breastcancer or something and my mum deliberately talked loud over it cos she knew I would start. And after catching a little part of it,I kept going into the bathroom and lifting my top up and prodding about. I hadn't even been thinking about it! :(

I have this thing that if I tell myself also I DON'T HAVE this or that,that I may jinx myself and actually HAVE it. I'm scared I start a boy who cried wolf effect and in the end no one will help me. Do you get that at all? x

[ForOurFuture]

OMG! You are just like me. I have really similar traits to you. And the thoughts are definately the same. My partner says he feels hopeless too, so I try to hide it from him, not always successfully as he says I am so transparent.

I weighed myself a couple of days ago and realised I have lost about 4lbs. Well that was it ... I went hot and decided (at that time) that I definately had bowel cancer (probably IBS according to the dr!). My partner says it is because I have stopped drinking wine in the evening and reduced my portion sizes, also lost my appertite when I upped my meds so was off my food for a while, but now can't eat much as I want to have a reason for the weight loss.

The boob thing for me got quite ridiculous as I was checking them in public without even realising that I was doing it. My partner had to give me a stop it look and so did my mate (once I told her why I was doing it)!!! Very embarressing, still catch my self feeling the sides of them and have to stop myself!!

Today is a bad day for me, but I have been expecting it as I was feeling better over the last couple of days. Don't get me wrong the HA is always there but it felt under control. Now it feels as if it has been let out of the box!!

I can't tell you how relieved I am to know that there really is someone out there just like me!:yahoo:

[Wee-Mee]

OMG! You are just like me. I have really similar traits to you. And the thoughts are definately the same. My partner says he feels hopeless too, so I try to hide it from him, not always successfully as he says I am so transparent.

I weighed myself a couple of days ago and realised I have lost about 4lbs. Well that was it ... I went hot and decided (at that time) that I definately had bowel cancer (probably IBS according to the dr!). My partner says it is because I have stopped drinking wine in the evening and reduced my portion sizes, also lost my appertite when I upped my meds so was off my food for a while, but now can't eat much as I want to have a reason for the weight loss.

The boob thing for me got quite ridiculous as I was checking them in public without even realising that I was doing it. My partner had to give me a stop it look and so did my mate (once I told her why I was doing it)!!! Very embarressing, still catch my self feeling the sides of them and have to stop myself!!

Today is a bad day for me, but I have been expecting it as I was feeling better over the last couple of days. Don't get me wrong the HA is always there but it felt under control. Now it feels as if it has been let out of the box!!

I can't tell you how relieved I am to know that there really is someone out there just like me!:yahoo:

:hugs: My mum actually caught me looking down my top the other day and she just sighed at me. I mean everyone to some extent SHOULD be aware etc but HA definitely heightens it. I am going through a bad time at the moment with my tum and pelvis and vaginal pain and I have been trying to eat so I put weight on but I don't seem to be so yes,I too am thinking it is serious and because I haven't been well for a bout a year,I am sure that I am dying. And as I type it I think "oh for goodness sake Amy,stop it!" but then I think.."no but what if?" and so it continues. I felt not bad earlier on and then I went to the toilet and my urine is neon looking almost,so now I'm concerned there is something wrong with my reproducitve organs,bowels,colon,bladder.It goes on.

I have oral thrush due to having antibiotics for 2 weeks with a pelvic infection and I had a scratchy lump feeling in my throat and I went to doctor I don't know how many times and told her there was something wrong with me.

Thankfully that has died down but now all my pelvic problems are starting and I looked up loads of stuff about thrush and have scared myself again! I don't know what to eat,what to do.. It is hell but indeed it is so comforting to know there are HA sufferers and that we are not alone in being like this.

The mind is a very powerful thing and it is astounding the impact it can have on our bodies. And I am scared I have ruined mine. Meep! xxxx