Sinatra877
18-03-09, 22:25
:blush: Hi All, my name is Mike.
This is my first post here and also my first admission on this type of site.
My background is both military and in law enforcement which is why I'm doing this anonymously. I have alot to lose professionally.
Here's my situation;
After a few years of being a cop (after my service years) I got hurt and could no longer do my regular duties. I had a hard time dealing with the pain and my lack of sleep (5 years now). I had previously been diagnosed with a PTSD and it hasn't effected my life at all. I was taking pain meds and given sleep meds.
After a year on my back, I felt better and I received an offer to work overseas. Keep in mind that I was always a bit finicky. I just attributed that to being a Virgo but anyways...after a few tours there as a war contractor, I came home for a bit and was warned by the Wife that she would leave. It's hard to get out of this business so during my 3rd tour. She left and took the monies we had which sent me into a small depression but I buried myself in work.
I got hurt last year in a IED blast overseas and although I've been wounded before, I started having disturbing dreams, violent ones. Nothing that would put me away but it bothered me. It was more intense than my earlier PTSD's after I got out of service. When I came home, I just parked myself at home, stayed home and just enjoyed home. I go out when I absolutely have to but some of my friends have said that it was not normal. Even my girlfriend mentioned it. Am I what the medical community calls agrophobic? (Pardon my spelling.) I have no vested interest in my hobbies anymore which included alot of stuff from work. I have said that I want to stay at home and enjoy all it's modern amenities but I think it's gotten deeper then that.
I go and work when a company calls but I need to have my kit organized and I don't like fluctuations in my job although it always is. I adapt too it but I can't say I like it, especially in my line of work. I don't go out from my house much. I keep to myself, have a girlfriend that will drop by once in awhile but will not go out because I just don't feel like dealing with anyone. I think it's due to my experiences with people that I've bumped into from my cop work and mil spec work. I've seen the hurt that other folks can do and my subconcious is telling me to back off. However I've been curious if there is something wrong?
Feel free to PM me. I need some input.
This is my first post here and also my first admission on this type of site.
My background is both military and in law enforcement which is why I'm doing this anonymously. I have alot to lose professionally.
Here's my situation;
After a few years of being a cop (after my service years) I got hurt and could no longer do my regular duties. I had a hard time dealing with the pain and my lack of sleep (5 years now). I had previously been diagnosed with a PTSD and it hasn't effected my life at all. I was taking pain meds and given sleep meds.
After a year on my back, I felt better and I received an offer to work overseas. Keep in mind that I was always a bit finicky. I just attributed that to being a Virgo but anyways...after a few tours there as a war contractor, I came home for a bit and was warned by the Wife that she would leave. It's hard to get out of this business so during my 3rd tour. She left and took the monies we had which sent me into a small depression but I buried myself in work.
I got hurt last year in a IED blast overseas and although I've been wounded before, I started having disturbing dreams, violent ones. Nothing that would put me away but it bothered me. It was more intense than my earlier PTSD's after I got out of service. When I came home, I just parked myself at home, stayed home and just enjoyed home. I go out when I absolutely have to but some of my friends have said that it was not normal. Even my girlfriend mentioned it. Am I what the medical community calls agrophobic? (Pardon my spelling.) I have no vested interest in my hobbies anymore which included alot of stuff from work. I have said that I want to stay at home and enjoy all it's modern amenities but I think it's gotten deeper then that.
I go and work when a company calls but I need to have my kit organized and I don't like fluctuations in my job although it always is. I adapt too it but I can't say I like it, especially in my line of work. I don't go out from my house much. I keep to myself, have a girlfriend that will drop by once in awhile but will not go out because I just don't feel like dealing with anyone. I think it's due to my experiences with people that I've bumped into from my cop work and mil spec work. I've seen the hurt that other folks can do and my subconcious is telling me to back off. However I've been curious if there is something wrong?
Feel free to PM me. I need some input.