agoraphobia and feeling trapped no escape

[reachersgal]

I have agoraphobia - before I realised that's what it was I would describe it as a fear of not being in control of a situation, and thus feeling trapped and not able to escape. Does anyone else feel this way.

I am now on Beta blockers as I've been quite distressed recently. The thing is there are many things that I would like to do, but then I make plans to do those things, then get overwhelmed by a feeling that I can't escape and feel trapped etc. Why do I feel trapped by something that I actually want to do - it's so silly. I'm due to do to the next city on Tues and don't think I'll be well enough to go, but it was something that I really do still want to do. I was thinking that I'd help with my daughters rainbow unit, but again after I spoke to the leader and arranged to stay at the next meeting, I'm thinking oh no I can't escape. I want to do this and I think it's be good for me to focus on something else.

Does anyone else have this. All the ways that agoraphobia affects me is to do with not been in control or not been able to see an escape route.

Has anyone had any success with changing thought patterns, I know that most of this is not rational, but my feeling haven'y caught up.

Hope this makes sense

[Yvonne]

Hi

I get that feeling of being trapped in situations. It's very very common. I wouldn't describe myself as agoraphobic because I'mnot scared of being out alone or how far from home I am.

The fact that you actually want to go to this thing is actually very good because most anxiety sufferers would be scared at the thought of it. You feel trapped because you are in a situation where it would not be easy to make escape, you would find it humiliating or embarrassing.

Have you read any books on the subject? Read some Claire Weekes, have a look on this site at the book section. I get the feeling you don't know too much about anxiety if you don't mind me saying - I mean that in the nicest possible way.

Anxiety does make you feel like you are not in control or that you may lose control in a situation where it would be inappropriate.

Changing your thoughts isn't easy - CBT is the route you have to take to deal with that. Are y ou having any therapy through gp at all?

Some good cbt websites online where you can do courses. Mindgym and a couple of others. They are mentioned on this site in various places. If you can't find them do a google on "free online cbt courses".

Good luck and take care.

[NoPoet]

If you're feeling trapped, that is a totally normal response to something which you find overwhelming. It definitely sounds like you're suffering from a combination of anxiety and low confidence. The world seems like an overbearing place when you feel like that.

What you should try to do is make a list of the things you need to do AND things you WANT to do. You can decide what to do on each day, so if you need to get your hair cut and you want to pop out to the shops to buy something, do both things on one day. Then the next day you might have a meeting to go to, then the day after that you can do a few more things from your list. Don't cram everything into one day (unless you want to of course).

You'll find this gradually improves your organisation and time management skills, which are ESSENTIAL in today's world and are NOT easy to come by for everyone.

Getting into a routine will help you exert some control over your world which will gradually improve confidence and will also help combat anxiety, since you'll usually know where you are supposed to be and when.

It won't fix your problems overnight, but it will be a start, and it will improve several valuable life skills in the process.

[freakedout]

I have agoraphobia - before I realised that's what it was I would describe it as a fear of not being in control of a situation, and thus feeling trapped and not able to escape. Does anyone else feel this way.

I am now on Beta blockers as I've been quite distressed recently. The thing is there are many things that I would like to do, but then I make plans to do those things, then get overwhelmed by a feeling that I can't escape and feel trapped etc. Why do I feel trapped by something that I actually want to do - it's so silly. I'm due to do to the next city on Tues and don't think I'll be well enough to go, but it was something that I really do still want to do. I was thinking that I'd help with my daughters rainbow unit, but again after I spoke to the leader and arranged to stay at the next meeting, I'm thinking oh no I can't escape. I want to do this and I think it's be good for me to focus on something else.

Does anyone else have this. All the ways that agoraphobia affects me is to do with not been in control or not been able to see an escape route.

Has anyone had any success with changing thought patterns, I know that most of this is not rational, but my feeling haven'y caught up.

Hope this makes sense

This is exactly how I feel, I used to describe feeling as though I was trapped, although I knew I wasn't trapped. I didn't know I was developing agoraphobia at the time but I gradually avoided more situations because of this fear, or rather the fear of feeling so uncomfortable or panicky in these situations.

I also agree to do things then start to think afterwards "OMG why did I say I would do that?" knowing full well that it would be really anxiety provoking. It is extremely frustrating when you want to do things but you feel that you cannot handle the trapped/no control situations.

I don't know whether you are getting any support but I agree with Yvonne the Claire Weekes book might be helpful, it is similar to Cognitive Behaviour Therapy which is what the Government NICE recommendations are for managing things like anxiety and agoraphobia. Responses to CBT are obviously individual but you may find this helpful, there are a few posts on the forum about it if you do a search for CBT the Therapy forum has some recent posts about CBT and some online resources. Changing your thought processes are possible and there is a large evidence base for CBT, it isn't easy but for lots of people it has been worth it.

I have not had much success with it but I think I have underlying problems with my personality which obstruct my progression with CBT.

I wish you well.

Freaky

[Wenjoy]

I have this feeling trapped fear as well - such as eating out, cinema etc - I just need to feel that should I want to go - then I can without a fuss being made - just walk out - my hubby tells me that of course, you can walk out - supermarket, cinema etc - just do it - but why would you want to when you really wanted to see that film or go to that shop - easy to ananyise but not easy to do!! Wenjoy x

[reachersgal]

Thankyou for your replies - I have the CLaire Weekes book and am going for counselling, although not managing much cbt, as I keep crying for an hour. I think perhaps need to give myself some time, to plod around doing what I can do, till these tablets work a bit better (feel much better than last week though) then start to tackle stuff. It is a bit overwhelming. Making a list will be a good way of sorting through stuff - thankyou for listening.

[NoPoet]

It's hard to change thought patterns, but it can be done. :)

It's more a case of making yourself do it. Over time your thought patterns gradually start to change as you become familiar with doing stuff. I used to have nightclubs and packed rooms, but after months of good experiences clubbing with my mates, I can weave my way through the busiest place without a moment's thought.