Gareth
02-08-05, 10:29
Hi all,
I had a kind of a breakdown five months ago and ever since have been suffering from GAD and depression. I have been with my partner for 7 years and we married in November of last year, three months before my problems came on.
I am having psychotherapy and have discovered through that that I have low sense of personal safety / security because of a period in my childhood where my parents separated messily, my mother tried to kill herself and then had years of breakdown and depression.
My problem now is, upon making these discoveries about myself, it is exactly the same time as my wife is beginning to talk in terms of being unsure if she and I have a long-term future together. She says that she feels that the person I was has gone and has been swallowed by misery, and that she is beginning to think that we can never find true happiness together. I feel like it is the beginning of the end and that she has already made up her mind to leave, but she wants to do the right thing and wait until I am a little stronger.
This is really difficult for a number of reasons. Firstly I feel like she is the only really good thing in my life, and certainly the only person who understands me. Secondly, in the early days of our relationship I helped her through psychotherapy, and she has been having it for five years. Now that she finally feels very strong, and it is me that is down, she is thinking of leaving. This makes me furious and there is nothing I can do about it. Thirdly, this feeling of abandonment and lack of security is precisely what I need to face about my past in the psychotherapy, and now it is happening again in my current life, so I have the double whammy! I am now sure I am strong enough for this.
My wife tells me that she has no plans to leave, but that for the first time she is doubting that we can be happy. She says she would just like to see how it goes. But I feel like I have lost her already.
Does anyone out there have any experience of losing someone because of their anxiety/depression? How do you cope with something this huge when you are at your lowest, weakest, most vulnerable?
be well,
Gareth
*** I think, therefore I'm anxious ***
I had a kind of a breakdown five months ago and ever since have been suffering from GAD and depression. I have been with my partner for 7 years and we married in November of last year, three months before my problems came on.
I am having psychotherapy and have discovered through that that I have low sense of personal safety / security because of a period in my childhood where my parents separated messily, my mother tried to kill herself and then had years of breakdown and depression.
My problem now is, upon making these discoveries about myself, it is exactly the same time as my wife is beginning to talk in terms of being unsure if she and I have a long-term future together. She says that she feels that the person I was has gone and has been swallowed by misery, and that she is beginning to think that we can never find true happiness together. I feel like it is the beginning of the end and that she has already made up her mind to leave, but she wants to do the right thing and wait until I am a little stronger.
This is really difficult for a number of reasons. Firstly I feel like she is the only really good thing in my life, and certainly the only person who understands me. Secondly, in the early days of our relationship I helped her through psychotherapy, and she has been having it for five years. Now that she finally feels very strong, and it is me that is down, she is thinking of leaving. This makes me furious and there is nothing I can do about it. Thirdly, this feeling of abandonment and lack of security is precisely what I need to face about my past in the psychotherapy, and now it is happening again in my current life, so I have the double whammy! I am now sure I am strong enough for this.
My wife tells me that she has no plans to leave, but that for the first time she is doubting that we can be happy. She says she would just like to see how it goes. But I feel like I have lost her already.
Does anyone out there have any experience of losing someone because of their anxiety/depression? How do you cope with something this huge when you are at your lowest, weakest, most vulnerable?
be well,
Gareth
*** I think, therefore I'm anxious ***