Holiday Blues

[tulip123]

Hi I have suffered anxiety problems on and off since my teen years. I believe in talking about these things and have worked through this problem before by facing up to my phobias, obsessions and worries. I do a responsible but stressful job which I love. I have just booked a holiday in Asia and I leave by plane on Saturday. I am now getting all my old problems back: shaking, adrenalin pumping, no sleep, tiredness and a fear of loosing control. I also have an obsession about my breathing at the moment which from experence will switch to another inconsequencial bodily function after a few days. I had a nightmare of a night and just wanted to talk as I live alone. I have talked about this holiday so much that I feel I will be letting people down if I cancel it or I do not enjoy it. I supposed it was triggered off by my fear of flying which I have overcome before but in company. Now I am on my own and I feel dizzy just thinking about it. This has led to a chain reaction of fear that makes me feel a quivering wreck in which anything goes. I have worked through this in the past but it is so disappointing to get all these symptoms back again just over a holiday. I think I'll go on a long walk and work off some of this panic. Thanks for letting me vent this as I always feel better after opening up.

[mirry]

Hi,

I was just like you 2 weeks ago before going to Italy for a week.
Yet looking back at my panic i am questioning myself....as to why did i get in such a state?
I had the best holiday ever and felt very relaxed and free, now i am back home i find my mind is trying to search out something else to feel negative about.......wish i knew why im like this, am trying to think up some new hobbies to tame my restless mind.
Good luck im sure you will have a great holiday like i did.

mirryx

[Meg]

Tulip

Well done for getting over this previously and this is just a blip triggered by a real stressor. Many people without anxiety wouldn't entertain this trip alone so you're doing well.
You know that you will be fine and once you're out there with external distractions and a whole host of things to explore you will calm and enjoy.

Meanwhile remember excitement and fear present as the same thing physically - its the thought pattern only that differentiates the two emotions.

Look after yourself and prepare well with rescue remedy etc

What would be in your 'Anxiety Toolbox'? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3938)

Catch you again before you go



Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[tulip123]

Thanks for the words of support: A lot of it is about fear of fear and I know from experience that however bad things seem at the time, one will come out the other end even if you feel on deafs door and about to give up - one more day can make a difference even at the time it doen't feel like that. Everything will come out in the wash so I try and float through. The run up to something is always much worse than the actual thing itself.

Though I keep telling myself this, it dosen't stop me from feeling bad in the short term. Sometimes I think social pressure - doing what one is expected of you dosen't help. I worry that I set my goals to high but I always think that if you don't try, you will never know.

[sal]

Hi Tulip

I think you have done a great thing booking the holiday and i am confident that you are more than capable of enjoying it. Like you say the run up is a lot worse than the actual event. But unforatunately with anxiety thats what we do best, worry and make it a lot worse than it actually is.

I am sure this is just pre nerves before you go and they have all the traits of anxiety. I hope you have a really great time and cant wait to here all about your holiday.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".

[tulip123]

Thought I would let you know, I feel at rock bottom at the moment. I had a good morning but since the afternoon I have not been able to shake this dreadful feeling of impending disaster. I really just don't want to get on board that plane, full stop. That airbus accident in Canada hasn't help. I've tried everything possible to stop the panic but to no avail. This is the worst it has been. I have thought about cancelling the holiday but I don't think it will make things much better in the long run. I'm shaking and find it hard to keep control. I think I will settle down to sleep and think positive thoughts: e.g. perhaps the shaking is good - releasing all that nervous energy - begin to relax. Perhaps it won't seem as bad Saturday morning. I saw the doctor today and got some betablockers - maybe that will help a little - they have in the past. Is it possible to come back from this and enjoy the holiday.

[Meg]

Hi Tulip

Yes it is possible to get over this and go on your holiday.

If you are travelling independently - maybe keep an eye out for similar travelers- have you checked out Lonely Planet thorn tree contacts ?
or are you meeting anyone at your destination?

Can you walk/ swim off the shakes.

If the plane is the biggest issue - have a double drink in the departure lounge OR get a couple of emergency valium tablets as well as rescue remedy.

Have your distraction pack ready and engage your seat neighbour with a conversation.

On Sat - make it feel exciting which is just a thought away from fear.


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[sal]

Hi Tulip it is possible and i am sure you can do it.

I am so sorry that you are feeling so bad at the moment which will only highlight to you the fear of the holiday. But remember you booked it for you and felt well enough to do that and as hard as it is hold on to that.

You and i both know if you felt this bad at the time of booking you wouldnt have contemplated it, so therefore you can do it and this is a bad timed blip that we all suffer.

I know how you feel when you say about cancelling it but in the long run will it be more detrimental to your health knowing you did that. We have all being there and i totally appreciate how you feel.



Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".

[tulip123]

Last night was specially hard for sleep. I had about 2 rough hours, maybe more and that was because I decided to sail past my adrenalin attacks that occur just before I dropn off and not listen in to my worries. I made myself and did get to think of other things other than the holiday journey - dwelling on the positive again. It could have been much much worse.

I think this problem has been caused by the long build up to the holiday. One can build up all these fears and they can esculate out of control if one allows. I try not to let that happen. I'm doing everything right and desrve to have a good time.

As for the shakes - I regard them, need to see them as a good sign. They usual occur before a calmer period.

Thanks for support Tulip

[nomorepanic]

I always find the anticipiation of something so hard to cope with. It usually doesn't calm down until I do it but the build up is so hard to cope with.

Keep reminding yourself that you really want to do this holiday and you will love it once you are there.

We will all be thinking of you so hang on in there ok?

Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"

[tulip123]

Thanks for that. I have flown before and to far off places but I never fly very well (the news isn't helping at all and poorly timed but I try and laugh it off as well and think of it as a life challenge). I think build up is the root of my problem this time. It seems better getting worried for a reason than no reason at all which has been the case in my younger years. Once I'm on that plane and taken off I'm there. This happened before when I went to Trinidad, the build up was awful but on the last evening I suddenly relaxed and by the next day the unbearable fear had gone (got on the plane, held onto the seat for most of the flight [:O] but got there in the end :) and had a fantastic first night. I was working at a stressful office at the time right up to the holiday which helped. I'm on a long break this time, so there has been not much to do for a week so my mind wanders to all sorts of places. Next time I go on holiday, I'll keep busy up to the last minute. I need to be on the go. I'm please to say I feel a little more relaxed this morning[:P], the end of the world hasn't happned just yet ;) Once again thanks for your support, it really makes a difference, focusing on the brighter realities. I think talking about soemthing is better than bottling up internally.