My daily heart attacks!

[Richard25]

Ok, I've tried about everything else, so we'll give this a go and just vent for a minute.
Excuse the title, but it best describes the way that I've been feeling for the past few months. I used to be a fun loving go go adventurous guy, and now that has all changed.
About six months ago I moved across the country and started a new job, we moved so my girlfriend could go to a incredible grad school and in turn I had to leave a high paying job that I was great at and take a low paying job which I hate. Around this time I had what would become the first of many ordeals that I would think to be heart attacks.
The first time it was just out of the blue, sudden chest pain out of nowhere! I wasn't even too concerned for about 20 minutes, that's weird I thought, must have eaten something bad...but when the crushing pain got worse and dizziness appeared (not to mention some hasty googling of chest pain) I went to the er. I was convinced that I was having a heart attack! Stress! Stress was the explanation I was given. "Well, Ok then" I thought, stress. Made sense, after all I was dealing with I had been under a lot of stress! Good enough for me!
I went about life as normal, everything was fine...and then, a month later while traveling for work I was sitting in traffic and then the pain came back, but this time it was different, it started in my left shoulder and felt like someone was forcing their palm into heart...This time it was around my heart and felt more like pressure and this time, boy did I panic. There I was driving down the shoulder speeding by stopped traffic hoping to be pulled over so I could get help, cutting accross lanes and running red lights I got to the e.r and guess what....Stress and now, anxiety.
The next weeks became increasingly difficult. I felt more concerned about my health than ever before. I had never had more than a bad cold in my life but now I was growing ever fearful that something was wrong...Then it happened again.
This time at work, embarressed I flew out of work and hopped in the car, driving like a mad person and certainly putting myself at the greatest risk by driving obsurd speeds I jetted toward the hospital. I even saw a police car on the way and honked my horn till he stopped, I screamed I need the e.r, my chest hurts....He gave me a speedy escort to the hopsital....Stress and anxiety.
So here I am, about six more e.r trips in, countless visits to my doctor, a vast assortment of test including a stress echo and I am in the worst state yet.
I am wholy convinced that every day is my last, I suffer from severe chest pain all day every day. My left arm is always numb acompanied by constant nausia and fatigue. I am thinking about my heart beat and checking my pulse all day long, I feel as if I am always about to go into cardiac arrest, I can't leave my house without triple checking that I have my xanax wtih me. Even right now I am up writing this because my girlfriend cant sleep with me constantly turning over and taking "deep breaths" to try and calm myself, and I am desperate.
I think that the worst part of all this is that while everybody who I talk to wants to be supportive, none of them have a clue what this is like, and maybe on a site like this at least there may be some people who know what this feels like.
I am so sick of feeling this way, I miss feeling good, I miss feeling normal...But most of all, I miss being myself.!

Anybody else feeling this way?

[Nicola_lou]

I was just reading ur post and it sounds a lot like mine. I 2 can't sleep
I'm so tired but I toss and turn and breath so dramatically I do my boyfriends
Head in. I've been to the surgery to see so many different doctors and there's no
Help for us, they call it mental health I hate that word but they still don have a clue.
I moved to a different town about a yr ago with my boyfriend to and everything as
Just got on top of me I think that may have contributed.


So I'm not on my own I've only had them for a couple of month but boy I tip toe
Around them. Never wrks though

I heard there's a chat room here to check it out u may benafit

[MOZZY]

Hi guys, I also suffer panic attacks thinking every day is my last. I was put on meds back on Dec 2008 but came off them as unfortunately they gave me side effect which in turn made me depressed. but yesterday i went to a wellbeing clinic and saw them for homeopathy. we talked for an hour which i cried most of it... he explained that the feeling i have of panic are my body telling me to think of fear somthing and instead of letting my body feel these sensation o fight it.. deep breaths and lying down, stopping what im doing and thinking of going to die... that then turns into a panic attacks... i need to try and let the feeling ride themselfs out. he gave me a tablet to suck (all natural no drugs).

Well if i tell you I could hardly go out the house, but after my appointment i came home rested for a while then i picked my daughter up from school and went shopping in the mall and even brought myself clothes. I felt great. I think I just needed to talk to someone it really helped. going to book in for councilling i think its the answer for me.

I hope this helps. there is hope , its only early days for me but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

hugs for both of you :bighug1:

[Veronica H]

:welcome: Richard. Many of us could have written this account, including myself. The good news is that this is going to get better. Panic and anxiety is very powerful until we start to understand it and accept that we are generating these feelings because our nerves are sensitised. There is a brilliant book by Dr Claire Weekes 'self help for the nerves'. This book, plus free downloads of her work to your Ipod can be found in the NMP Shop. I cannot recommend this enough, as it really explains what is happening to us and shows how we can recover. I am glad you have found us. I owe my recovery to this site and Dr Weekes. and I know you will find comfort and support here.

Veronica

[Richard25]

Thanks guys,

It is nice to just hear (not that I'm happy that others are going through this too) that people know how I feel.
I too have been told it is mental health and also resent the implication that i am crazy but am seeing my doc again this week and going to ask for a recommendation to see a therapist.
So here we go, another day....still here...so far so good!

[Utility]

Hi

So many of us can relate to how you feel and constantly have on their minds that every day may be their last. That's the hurdle you have to get beyond, and positive thoughts are the way forward.

In my case it was getting through the issue of every time I did any sort of exercise I believed I was going to drop down dead. Chest, arm, leg pains and shortness of breath all contributed to this. Had all the medical checks to tell me that I was fine but just like so many of us, was not convinced. Things didn't get better until I was able to accept that I did not have heart problems and instead it was down to anxiety. CBT helped me achieve this and it may do the same for you