I've been such an idiot!

[tom1]

Hi everyone,
Some of may/not know, that recently I've been put on Effexor/Venlafaxine which has been helping. However, this week I ran out and I forgot to collect my prescription (I've been trying to meet deadlines at uni) as it just slipped my mind. The real problem was, I couldn't access my GP to pick up the prescription because it was closed. So I've had a little bit of a run around trying to find an out of hours GP service that can prescribe it. Needless to say I got it in the end.

The major issue here is, during the time I was off my meds, the withdrawals were kicking in (and on Effexor it's very bad) and I was getting brain zaps, disorientation etc. But amongst this, I was also very irrational and just not myself at all (well the normal person I am when on medication I suppose) and I was been extremely aggressive. I was swearing at my parents for no reason at all, driving my car like a raving lunatic (nearly crashing several times) and was looking for a fight. Everyone was my enemy, and the world was dark, grim, cruel, and full of selfish idiots.

Now that I look back at this, I feel terrible. I've never acted like this before, but was it in me? You know, am I really like this and something just leaked out? Or did the withdrawals on the meds completely change me? It was all very scary. My parents said, it just was not like me at all. They were really worried.

[PoppyC]

Hi Tom
Sorry to hear about what happened. It sounds like how you felt was due to missing taking Effexor - suddenly stopping when you have been taking anti anxiety/depression medication can cause a lot of sudden withdrawal symptoms including all the ones that you described, the head zaps is classic one, and thats why gps tell you not to suddenly stop taking them. It states it too on the patient info leaflet. If you have never acted before like you did then I would put it down to missed meds. I would mention it to your gp next time you see him and see what he says. A couple of days ago I missed taking Citroplam and I became really anxious, disorientated and felt strange. My mood kept changing throughout the day. I took my tablet when I got back home and went to sleep and woke up yesterday feeling great - totally different to the day before. I am making sure I dont miss taking my meds anymore. Hope you are now feeling a lot better than what you did.

[Oceanblue]

Hi Tom,

The withdrawal symptoms of Venlafaxine are quite nasty, having those head zaps, sweating hot and cold etc. But it is supposed to be a good medication and usually works for most.

Don't beat yourself up so much saying that you acted like an idiot, you were feeling stressed and unwell, yes it probably caused you side effects, but now that you're taking them once again you are feeling better.

Tom, you seem to analyse things too much, what's happened has happened, move on from that and live for the moment, yesterday was yesterday and can now be forgotten about. OK, you may have acted out of character (but, it isn't the end of the world) and I'm sure you're sorry for the way you behaved, try and remember that you wasn't feeling well, was under stress and that wasn't your fault.

Enjoy your life now that you're feeling better and look forward to a happier future.

Take it easy xx

[tom1]

Hi PoppyC,
Yeah I know GPs say not to stop taking it, and I am aware it states it in the leaflet. But, I've missed my dose before with many other meds and never had effects like this. Even Seroxat/Paroxetine which is supposed to be comparable to Effexor in withdrawal was not this bad.

The whole situation was as if I were on a nervous breakdown, I had totally no control of myself or what I was thinking. Everything was just instant; convincing irrational thoughts filled my head, emotions based off those thoughts filled with my physically. I saw no rationality at all. Now I think back about it, I am actually scared of myself.

Hi Katie,
I know we spoke last night, I think that was the beginning of the changes in mood. Remember I said I wasn't even sure it was you I was speaking to? I just had no idea what I was doing/thinking.

You're right though, I do over analyse everything, and sometimes it can be beneficial but most of the time it's my own worst enemy. It's just the way I've always thought growing up, and I can't just seem to change it. I'm constantly told CBT will change this for the better, but after several years work in CBT and currently doing my second go round, it has done diddly-squat in that area. In fact, I'm inclined to believe now I've reached a road block with CBT. Oh the joys of the mind.

[PoppyC]

Hi again
When I said about what gps say and what leaflet states - was just saying it sounds like what suddenly stopping meds involves.
Maybe some meds cause more probs when stopping them than others and for each person its different.
I had a major diagnosed breakdown last year that lasted for months- if you were having one you would still be having one now and would feel the same as you did when you stopped taking your meds. Its constant until you make a recovery. Do you feel any better now that you are back taking them?

[Oceanblue]

Hi Tom,

Continue taking this medication because they have made you feel much better and you did show a turnaround. Once you're back to the level of intake, you'll feel well again. Missing dosages causes a lot of confusion and you just need to adjust back again.

You'll be fine in a couple of days i'm sure.

Take care and chat soon. x

[bottleblond]

Hi Tom

I did the exact same as you a couple of months ago. I was only off my meds for two days and the side effects were horrible. I felt like i was not in my own body, my vision was terrible and i just felt yukk.

I feel like if i even miss one tablet, the side effects are almost instant.


Lisa
x

[Mully]

I got the same effects when I tried to come of Citalopram.. I became very aggresive and frusrated at everything and everyone.. it got to the stage where I would be out ' willing ' people to bump into me or something just so I could lash out!.. It's so out of character for me and it scared me. I felt like I was about to loose control.

Fortunately you are now aware of this and will make sure that in the future you will have enough tablets and get a new prescription before you run out. It can be frightening to think that these drugs which are on one hand helping us.. also can have such a dramatic and negative affect on our well being when we stop taking them. It is soo important that those wishing to come off these drugs to understand what can happen, and the reason why the process should be done sloooooooooowly.. also what can happen if you miss a dose for 1 or more days.. I really wish Doctors would make people more aware of this before putting them on these meds.. because I am sure that the majority of people have no idea what can happen untill it is actually happening to them and this is just negligent.

[tom1]

Thing is, I've never had withdrawal effects this extreme before. I mean, heck I ran out of Seroxat/Paroxetine for 4 days once and coped just fine. Yeah the effects weren't that nice, but they didn't do what Effexor did to me.

You know, sometimes I think meds can be more trouble than they're worth especially with the varying extremities in side-effects. I mean, if I just found a therapy that worked I wouldn't need to take anything (hopefully). I only take these blasted medications because I just can't function properly with my anxiety and depression but I hate taking them. There are also things I always miss when I'm on the medication, like my creativity is reduced, I don't dream about anything (no REM sleep), sometimes I feel emotionally numb to certain things etc. So, in a way they bring in their own set of problems which can create a depression I suppose in itself.

This is probably going a bit off topic to what the discussion was originally about, but I'm feeling a bit of an eye-opener with this recent experience. I'm questioning lots of things in my mind right now in regards to what I'm going to do about my future to take the next step.

[tom1]

I just want to add, that I think I seriously need to change/do something about my current status.

The reason I say this, is because I am really fed up life in general right now. My anxiety is better, but I feel I am missing out in some things because I am heavily medicated/sedated (and I certainly do FEEL medicated). I feel like things are going on around me but I have no interest in them at all. So I am coping, but I am just existing not living.

Over the last week or so, I've become extremely lazy. While on Effexor I've been doing my uni work still, but it's been half attempts at getting it done and also very last minute. I've had no inclination to eat properly, exercise, or do anything I would normally do. I didn't think much of it at first, but it's getting worse. I just have this uncaring attitude about things, which just isn't right. It's annoyed me because, I needed to go into uni last week for a couple of things, and I just couldn't be bothered!! On top of that, my memory is really, really bad as well. Like, I'm forgetting very important things and in things like spelling words etc.

I was singing Effexor some praises before, but the recent turn of events has made me almost think clearly and properly about my current situation.

I think I'm going to change to something else, because I can't live like this and it's actually causing me added problems. I'm not sure whether I'm going to change to something else so I can come off Effexor (without suffering the extreme withdrawal) and be off meds for a while or change to something else and stay on that.

I'm feeling a bit anti-medication at the moment understandably. So, I would greatly appreciate anyone's input on this matter.