Heortophobia - Help!!

[Emma5000red]

Hi Everyone,

I joined yesterday looking for some advice and support.

I have suffered with OCD since being a young child but developed panic attacks when a close family member died 5 years ago.

My original anxiety centred around someone spiking my drink or food but I have managed to keep that under control on a day to day basis. Throughout the year I feel fine, manage to go to work and do things I never could previously.

I am currently on a low low dose of Cipralex (5mg) which I have tapered down from 20mg with guidance from the Doctor.

The only time when I suffer from extreme anxiety is before and during holiday. The few days before I go I get very anxious and start panicking. I originally thought I was scared of flying as I am always sick and had a full blown panic attack on the way out there. However during the holiday I remain anxious, my OCD seems to appear again, I get upset about being away from home and am constantly seeking reassurance from my partner and by calling my mum. The other reason why I think it may be a fear of holidays is because I never have a panic attack on the way home!!!

I dont know what to do as I am going away again in a couple of months. I wont have time to be referred to the therapist for CBT (from the doctors). I didnt know if there are any good resources online - activies etc that could help. I was thinking about the Linden method but I am sure whether its worth the money??

I have never met anyone with the same fear either, I am 24 and really want to find a way to enjoy holidays and going away.

Any advice would be welcomed gratefully!!

[marius]

Hi,
Since you don`t have the time for CBT, I think you should take your time to meditate daily abt your holidays. Try to purposely convince your mind that holidays are good. Recall pleasant things from your past experiences with holidays. I know it`s not easy but, you know, you are young and holidays should be fun. Avoid thinking about some minor unpleasant incidents like having a PA or about geting up upset that you are not at home, etc. Holidays are not for ever, and you will eventually come back home. Try to find as many positive things that holidays are bringing to you. Make comfortable with the idea that you will be fine and that not being at home is not such a tragedy.
marius

[Zsofi]

Dear Emma,

I can relate to your problem even though I don't have any problems with holidays but I did have the same feeling when going out - which should be fun, just as a holiday.
Let me give you a little background to my problem and tell you what I did to change this and in the recent months I'm doing a great progress. :shades:
Back to my panicking years I had panic attacks so often when I was out with friends that every time I was preparing to go out I already EXPECTED to have another one and for many years I didn't even give myself the chance to have fun because of this negative thinking. Actually I ended up not going out anymore because I didn't want to feel tense and anxious especially meanwhile everybody else are having a great time...
When I came to Germany like a year ago and move together with my current partner I still had the same problem, even though I was already panic attack free (thanks to the Linden Method btw that you want to try), I still got tense and was not really willing to go out. I did it, just because my fiance asked me to go with him but most of the time I felt really bad and just watching to the clock and waiting when he gives me the sign finally to go home.... The fact that I don't speak German didn't help me of course to relax and have fun with other people because I didn't even understand most of the conversation, I was getting bored and just focusing on my anxious thoughts. I knew it was WRONG and I had to change this. My other problem was with this that I am quite obsessed with my sleeping since I went through a horrible insomnia period years ago and I noticed that if I don't go to bed in the usual time (around 11 pm), I have great difficulties to fall asleep, so I was also obsessed with leaving and going home in time when we were out.

So, shortly this is the background. Just a few months ago I decided though that I will do someting about this. We were invited to a birthday party of one of my fiance's friends and I DECIDED to have a great time, no matter what. I made my hair, did a great make up, dressed up pretty (I never really paid attention to this before that) and made a conscious decision about being relaxed and having fun. Guess what? :) When we got there I found immediately some people who spoke English and had some great conversations with them and even my fiance paid so much more attention to me than ever before. (I assure you it was not because of the pretty dress but becasue I was RELAXED). Just me and him were sitting on the couch for 3 hrs not bothered by anyone, enjoyed the music and had a great talk about our future, upcoming wedding and our plans. It was great. At midnight I was still dancing and having fun and HE told me to go back to the hotel becasue he was getting tired.. I could have stayed longer. When we got in bed around 1 am I fall asleep immediately and slept through the whole night without any anxiety. :D
Since than it happened to me a few more times and I am so happy about my progress that I decided to practice this every time when I have the opportunity.

Sorry for the long description, I just wanted you to understand what was going on with me and why, because I think you can achieve the same thing too. It won't happen overnight and maybe you will have to practice it but you will get there! Just start to think about your upcoming holiday as great fun and make a DECISION about having a great time no matter panic attack or any other anxious thoughts. You have to have an expectation that everything will turn out right and you'll be relaxed.

I did this change in my attitude not only because of myself but only for the sake of my relationship. Believe me, even if you don't say a word to your partner, he FEELS it that you are stressed and tense when you should be having fun together. These events, like holidays and going outs should bring you closer instead of creating space and if you are relaxed and enjoying your time he will focus on you more too and be more understanding if it is necessary.

Be assured that this is only UP TO YOU. Don't let the circumstances and your anxiety take over your life when you suppose to be having a good time that you truly deserve!!! Just make a decision and it will happen!

I hope it helped a bit, take care,

Zsofi