New to panic/health anxiety.......

[KMR]

Hi all,

I'm here due to recently starting to suffer from acute health anxiety. I had a miscarraige 7 weeks ago and think this is the cause of these recent obsessions. I tortured myself for 10 days with completely irrational thoughts about HIV, Cancer and other debilitating diseases (even though I logically knew that my doctor took all the major bloods at the beginning of the pregnancy). I finally found the courage to go and confirm all of these tests and they were all fine so I thought everything would get back to normal........but NO.......last week I had a huge panic attack at home for no apparent reason which really frightened me - I ended up calling the SOS Doctor at 3.30am who came out to check me, BP, pulse, chest and ECG were all 'horribly normal' in the words of the doctor. I am now convinced I have heart problems. I'm getting all the twinges, arm pain, shoulder pain and being awfully aware of my heart beat. I'm still a little overwieght and a smoker (I've lost 27 kilos over the last 18 months and stopped smoking when I was pregnant). I've started seeing a therapist because I needed some help in finding where all this anxiety could have come from and I have a good GP. He gave me Xanax which I take sparingly as I don't want to get hooked but I don't even think it really helps. My anxiety gets worse at night - I was just falling asleep when the attack happened so my bedroom which used to be my favourite place to relax has become a prison.
I've stopped coffee, don't drink and don't overeat the wrong stuff.
I know I'm waffling but it just needs to come out - it's all really new to me as I've always been the strong one, defender, shoulder to cry on and problem solver for my whole entourage of family, partner and friends my whole life.
I have a good job, solid relationship and I am usually the most rational person around.
I just hope this is my blip in life and I can soon get back some control.

My thoughts go to all who are suffering!

KMR

[nickieb]

Kmr

Welcome to NMP it was right you found support as many especially close ones don't understand Health anxiety.
It can be just a blip in your life what you have to remember is you are in control here not the HA & your mind is a powerful thing & only you can change things.
For those who suffer with it its debilitating & just awful i know i have been there. I was lucky in that i was occupied with a new relationship & no longer thought about myself & within weeks never had any fears of my head or heart & i can look back now & think OMG it was me all along. At the time my symptoms were very real. The only thing now is the drastic change in my personality caused by the HA led me into depression which i still on occasions battle with now & at the mo its tough as i have broken up with the one person who cleared my health anxiety.
So i think i will always now have underlying depression & will never be totally cleared of anxiety over my health. However i am now able to recognize what it is which is certainly a huge step forward xxxx

[MOZZY]

Welcome this is a great site to voice your worries. I have been suffering panic attacks as like yourself my bedroom is like a prison to the point I havnt sleeped in my bed since dec 2008. I now sleep on the sofa every night. Not because ive had a panic attack in it but i dont want to keep my boyfriend awake as i dont sleep that well anymore. Talking to someone is a really good idea. im doing this at the moment and even though it is exhausting it really helps me. Im not on any meds but do have diazapam for emergency's ....

Hope you feel better soon.

:)

[amandaj]

hi ive always suffered with anxiety but i had a miscarriage also over a year ago and ive been a hundred per cent worse since , it really does affect us in more ways than one and its a horrible experience sorry you been having such bad anxiety and theres nothing wrong with your heart as you have been checked but we just dont belive what we are told do we or lots of us wouldnt still be suffereing if did , have you been offered councelling for your loss its onlt recently ive been gonig and been told most of my anxiety is down to the miscarriage by the councellor please try to get some help as it does help t talk about it , you can always pm me aswell if need to chat take care
amanda

[KMR]

Thanks all, really appreciate the time you took to reply and offer support. I really do want to grieve the miscarraige and get on with my life. I think it was the straw that broke the camels back so to speak - carrying everyone else and never really taking the time to concentrate on my life or myself. Even though it wasn't planned I also thought the pregnancy was a miracle as I thought it would be difficult to get pregnant due to PCOS and hormonal problems. Add on that I've probably been carrying guilt about a termination 15 years ago that I've regretted since the day I did it. I'm just amazed how the body/head can bring on real symptoms and real fear. I'm just overwhelmed and bewildered with all this anxiety and panic.