View Full Version : still not good

02-08-05, 19:12
this is getting stupid, i still not feeling right, last nite was really hard and i had to fight so hard not to drink again and i didnt drink.

But i hit my hand again the knuckle is swollen again and i hit the other hand as i got upset at work.

i still not feeling great with the health probs, they want me to go and have this smear but dont want to as scares me id rather not no if there is a problem as i couldnt put up with more ill health, so best not to know.

i just hate the nite times i sit there thinking of things ive tried to do some of my hobbies but cant. im doing two home study courses in writing short stories and creative writing for magazines but have got behind. a magazine has took interest in a article ive written but i cant get motivated to get out and take the photos needed. i am also doing a cartooning and caricature course as i would like to do this as a living.

Ive also been out buying the afterlife books again this is what i did last time, so far ive got about 15 of them, steve doesnt like me reading them. its just nice to no what awaits me. is that bad.
suppose got another lonely night tonight i hope it isnt as bad as last nite, im so tired but cant sleep for long.
i thinking of you all and missing you all

02-08-05, 19:48
Hi susie,
You are doing so well hun i am proud of what you are achieving so far, stick with it hun, youre getting there. Try to get on with taking the photo's for your story, it must be good if someone has taken an interest in it. It could be the start of something new for you.
If you are finding the evenings hard come into chat hun, even if you just want to sit and read what is going on, at least you wont feel alone.
I will speak to you soon ok.
Take care

its "just a thought"

02-08-05, 23:57

I know this isnt easy but i admire how well you are doing fighting it.

You have a lot of strength and i can see it is taking it out of you but you wont give in.

If i can help i wll but i admire how well you are doing hun.

Love Sal xx

Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".