Anxiety at night

[Cheekyone]

Hiya everyone

I'm tackling a few fears at the moment and am struggling with a few things and hoped there might be some people out there who are experiencing similar things or might have some advice that could help. I struggle with quite severe agoraphobia, but can go out and do most things so long as my safe person, my Mum, is with me. However I have my own home with my husband that I'd dearly like to be living in but i struggle to stay over night at the house with just my husband. I find my anxiety levels are much higher at night time when I'm overtired and emotional. I find it difficult to relax enough to actually get to sleep, and if I do, i tend to wake feeling panicky and set off a panic attack. I find the nightimes very isolating, as I don't like to disturb my hubby's sleep, but find the panics quite hard to cope with in the darkness feeling alone. I also find my anxiety very hard to cope with after a run of sleepness nights, so I find I often lose motivation to tackle this issue and just end up going back to my mum's house where I feel safe!

I'm expecting a baby in 7 weeks, so I really feel under a time pressure to sort this out, as I can't drag a newborn between houses late at night, just because I'm freaking out! Plus I'm sure my parents can do with out a screaming infant taking up residence too. If anyone has any advice or tips that might help or is just in a similar situation I'd appreciate and responses. It's not really something I ever talk about because it makes me feel like such a freak!

Ros xx

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[andrewc]

Hi Ros

First of all let me say that youre not a freak and youre not alone suffering these symptoms. You are taking the first step by posting on here.

Have you discussed this with your doctor. Dont be afraid to because they come across this quite a lot. It seems to me that you need help in the form of therapy but by keeping it to yourself youre only prolonging the symptoms.

I dont know your history so I cant comment only to advise you to seek help and like I said the best place to start is with your doctor.

Best regards

Andrew

[Anxious_gal]

my anxiety is the same I find it a lot easier not be alone!
is your anxiety higher at night because your with your husband and not your mum?
it will eventually calm down, i went for months not sleeping at night, being paranoid about burglars etc..
i listen to relaxation music and it really helps me. also try that bedtime range by Johnston's for babies!
they do a bedtime bath, and oil and moisturizer and the sent really does help relax me.
can you take any medication?
sorry your having such a hard time right now x x

[mom1982]

Hi Cheekyone, i feel the same at night too. Eventhough my hubby is sleeping next to me and my 10 month old is in the next room sleeping, i feel alone. I get scared at night & feel alone & anxious when i'm awake & they're all sleeping.

[bluegirl09]

I live alone and find i get very anxious some nights if i come home late from being out im all on edge and have the butterflies in my tum some nights in the past in has been horrendous i have stayed up the entire night shaking untill the sun rose then i calmed down and drifted off - but that was the past now i tend too watch a comedy in bed something like only fools and horses a gentle funny programme and i relax if im really anxious this will sound silly but i close my eyes and pretend there is an angel at the bed beside me watching over me and keeping me safe it works im sure if you close your eyes you have one as well good luck babe xx

[Kaybee]

I'm much of the same, except I will be able to sleep so long as there is someone with me, doesn't matter who, just as long as there is another body there.

I can't really offer much help, just the knowledge that you are not alone! We're all here for reasons that may seem insane to us, like we are the only ones going through it, trust me, you aren't!

Only thing I could think of, would be bringing bedding or ornaments etc from your mums house. Use the bedding you would do at your mums and put an object from the house on your bedside table.. that way if you get anxious during the night you can just look at it and feel like you are at home.

May sound a little silly, but I used this technique last year when I was moving out of the family home. It helped me cope with a new environment.

Hope things start getting better.

xx

[Erinath]

It might help you a little to know that the hormone imbalance of pregnancy can really up the anxiety levels, I'm speaking from experience on that one.

It sounds like you're currently trapped in a vicious circle, tiredness can make anxiety so much worse, but it's the anxiety that's leading to so much sleep deprivation. How about spending a couple of nights at your mum's just so you can catch up on your sleep a little, then try again with sleeping at your house. I know this sounds corny, but try out relaxing things on the lead up to bedtime such as a nice warm bath, a hot milky drink or whatever works a bit for you. I used to find having a little notebook & pen near my bed helped, if I work up with something just constantly going through my head I'd write it down & try to tell myself I was allowed to worry about it in the morning ... sometimes it actually worked and allowed me some respite.

Apologies if any of the above this sounds patronising & hope things calm down for you soon!

[nantonan]

HI, I do know how you feel, especially at night. I have those anxious feelings during the day and someyimes I feel so scared that I don`t want to be alone and have to get out the house quickly so I walk round to my local shop, just to be with people and then come home, feeling extremely stupid, as I am in my 60`s ! I too have a husband that is sleeping next to me and it`s hard to explain how I actually feel, especially the scared bit as he can`t understand it. What I do now, which does help sometimes, I have some lovely English Lavender body cream and I cover my arms , neck and across my head in it and I have a radio by my bed and listen to a chat programme. I find LBC 97.3 helps as it`s a phone in so no music, I find that I am concentrating on what`s being talked about and I am not so aware of my shaking and other symptoms that accompanies the panic and anxious feelings and find that I have dropped off to sleep before the programme has ended sometimes. Worth a try ! Hope you feel better soon , all the best. Nantonan

[angel 2]

Hi Don't put yourself under more pressure by thinking you've got to get right in 7 weeks. It doesn't matter. Your parents sound like they're understanding and don't under estimate them when the baby arrives. Parents help!!! I know it's difficult I have the same problems at night. You have got to think that you're having a beautiful baby soon that will hopefully keep you totally occupied and you will probably find everything settles down.These hormones have alot to answer for ( all through your life ) Good luck let us all know how it goes best wishes angel