Depression or my anxiety?

[indie44]

Think my other post should have gone in here, but never mind.

All I want to do it end what is going on with me at moment, I really can't take much more of what am feeling. Its the lowest I have been for a very long time and every day am struggling to give a dam. I am hiding it from some people as I don't want them getting fed up with me. I am not chatting as much to people who i can chat to online. I just want to hide and not have to give a dam. Well I don't give a dam. I feel like my anxiety is winning, my depression is winning again. I feel so lost so empty so scared. I wake up each morning with a dread in pit of stomach that doesn't go away its dies down a bit through day but its always still there. I wish i could just go back a few weeks and re start and this wouldn't have came about all this crap for me. I miss who i had in my life and the hurt I have at moment is not easing up for me. I wish i could scream and all i do is end up in tears wanting to call them. Not every day but I do I just want to call you. I need help and struggling to ask for it to a level. When all at the moment I want to do is end everything as I am fed up with the thought of fighting all this again

[emma30982]

i know how you feel just hold on and try to get some help!
emma

[indie44]

I have been so angry, fed up today stayed in bed till 3pm just didn't see any point in getting up. Hate this, hate myself, am keeping a distance from everything and people. I am just keeping myself to myself trying to keep me safe. And for someone who i care about I miss you a hell of a lot more than you miss me, you have taken so much from me, but why do i still care about you. Who knows


Tonight I have had enough I sometimes wish i had the courage to just get on with it. I wish i could scream and let you go. I wish i could wake up in morning and you would be here. I have nothing left at the moment and all i want is for everything to be over

[emma30982]

just wondering how your getting on
big hug
emma
xx

[indie44]

just wondering how your getting on
big hug
emmaxx

Hey and thankyou for asking, not been on for a while and was just thinking about this site.

I was doing a bit better felt more in control of things, till today woke this morning not feeling that great, and then messed up by hurting someone who was a friend, don't think they will be any more. So I have been upset most of day, sat crying, come to reslise that am hurting myself over and over again, by the little things I am doing to myself and have no real reason as to why. Apart from feeling a complete odd ball. Which maybe i am, maybe i just can't deal with people even though i want them in my life. I have people in my life, but some i just seem to cut of from, others i get on with but still mess up. So am confused and angry at me and i would love just have it over. I think counselling is needed and as for finding someone round here no idea where to start, meant to be seeing someone next week for the anxiety but i have not a lot of faith in that, as i have so much going on in my head and she will only help with the anxiety... I don't know what to do any more

[Vanilla Sky]

Hi Indie, Have you thought of ringing the samaratins? They are there 24/7 Hope you feel better, Love and hugs Paige x

[PoppyC]

Indie
I replied to your other post today...
Hope you are feeling a bit less down???

[indie44]

Hi Indie, Have you thought of ringing the samaratins? They are there 24/7 Hope you feel better, Love and hugs Paige x Yeah I have rang them twice this week :)




Indie
I replied to your other post today...
Hope you are feeling a bit less down??? ty x will go and look and get bk to you